2015: The Year of Prayer: Week 34 & 35

After many long years of being uncomfortable with the moniker of "Prayer Warrior," I think I get it now...in a way that allows me to wear it with (holy, humble) pride.

I love God and I love His people.  I know He can do great things because He already has - in the big sense of Creation and Redemptive History - but also in my own life.  He saved my life from a selfish, self-absorbed pit.  He restarted my marriage.  He gave me purpose and meaning.  He saved my daughter from cancer.  He saved my other daughter from complications during birth. 

He still saves us daily - but not only that...He moves us forward into being more complete people  We love more and better.  We are full of joy and then some.  We are grateful for everything and understand how blessed we are.  We serve cheerfully.  I'm not saying this to brag, only to show you where I am on the map, compared to the complaining, ungrateful, easily angered greedy woman I was before Jesus got a hold of me.  He changes us....for His glory and our betterment.  He is that kind of guy.....that kind of God.

He has saved me in mind, body and soul and continues to reveal the path of life when I seek Him. And even sometimes when I don't!

It's a daily practice for me to think on those such things.  Yet, it isn't just the knowledge that God is good all the time (and all the time He is good) that makes me a prayer warrior.  It isn't something unique or special about me that makes me want to - even drives me to pray, worship and experience Holy Spirit in my spirit and in His truth.

The thing that makes me a prayer warrior is the same thing every Christian has: faith.

It is belief in the finished work of Jesus.  That reality changes the game because you can't have faith in faith or faith in yourself (or anyone/anything else).  What makes us Christians is being saved by faith IN CHRIST, not our own deeds (See Acts 16:31).  It is the trust and hope in Who Christ is and What He completed in His birth, life, death and resurrection that gives us eternal life as well as the power to live abundantly in the here and now.  I don't do it, He does.

That's the thing that makes me step into the spray of this fallen life, into the jacked up culture and assaults of the enemy.  It is Jesus.  Maybe I have "the gift of faith," the Apostle Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 12.  Maybe I've just seen enough that I can't deny the goodness and power of God.  Maybe when I see someone sucking in the quick-sand of life, I have the urge to give them a taste of Living Water.  Maybe when I know I've made a choice for something, our Gracious Lord built me to go all in.  Maybe I am just stubborn.

Maybe it is all of that and more.

Either way, I know what I've got that makes other people call me that "Prayer Warrior."  The light bulb went off Wednesday morning while reading a book by Francis MacNutt simply called Healing (highly recommend).  On pages 103-104, he describes an experience where he and his foundation put up $50,000 to make a short film to demonstrate the power of healing prayer.  His friends felt he showed extraordinary faith in risking so much money when, during filming, there is a chance no one will be healed and the project a total flop with his reputation unraveled  He writes,

...I was surprised that they thought I had extraordinary faith, because I think that my faith is very ordinary.  When I pray I usually have no special sense whether or not the person I am praying for is going to be healed; in my own eyes I lack the special "gift of faith" connected so often with the healing ministry....what they were actually saying, though, was that I had chutzpah. (That's a Yiddish slang term meaning something like "nerve" or "brass," "extreme confidence in action."  Hispanics might call it "huevos" or Italians "meatballs."  You get the point.)

I believed that we should risk all the finances we had and "go for it," assuming that God wanted to show people of good faith the kinds of healing that I ordinarily see.  Seeing faith as chutzpah will set you free.  In this view, faith isn't an extraordinary version of what you believe...As John Wimber used to say, "Faith is spelled 'R-I-S-K.'..The faith lies in setting out on the journey, not in being sure of exactly where we are going.  We believe that God is faithful, provided we do what is in our power - and that is to pray....

The summation of this passage, plus reading The Circle Maker earlier this year and then seeing the movie War Room Tuesday night left me fired up.  I am embracing my alter ego of Xena Prayer Warrior Princess, one part of me I've slightly embarrassed about for a long time, out of fear of false-pride.  It's time for me to step into believing, trusting in and praying the truth of Hebrews 4:14-16 from The Message:

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.

Confident is who I am.  Bold is how I operate.  Although not in myself, in my God. I don't have to have a 100% win ratio because, in faith, God wins every time.  His sovereignty isn't just a good idea, it is the absolute truth.  It stake my claim and my life on it.

It's time to get to praying and more.  Be bold with me, friends.  Embrace the chutzpah the Lord has given you, your faith is rightly placed.  You don't have to worry about the results because I am sure the Lord will bless our attempts.  His love and grace cover a multitude of sins.  I'm counting on that and on you to join me.  

Let's pray the Kingdom of God, on Earth just as it is in Heaven!

2015: The Year of Prayer - Week 28 and 29 - Catch Up Post

This summer has been spanking my "regular" schedule.  Really, in summer time, with 3 kids at home, there is no "regular."  But the last 2 weeks have been particular out of the norm, as we've been on vacation and extremely busy when home.  I didn't even lead our URPrays meeting last Wednesday - SHOCKER!

(Moseka Medlock, my lead prayer partner in the Upper Room did a fantastic job.  Too bad she doesn't follow this blog, I'll have to tell her later about how I'm going to take advantage of her love for Wednesday night prayer more often in the coming year.  ;))

My last post described a Wednesday night where the Lord gave me more freedom.  These last 2 weeks have been a lesson in walking that out.  Before, if my regular devotion routine was different, I would struggle against guilt.  Now I know the guilt is gone.  I got the time in the last 2 weeks to do "living prayer," where I prayed wherever I was.  It was a really neat experience because it confirmed what was spoken over and into me that night.

I hear from the Lord.  I know Him.  He knows me.  He is always with me.  I am never disconnected from His Spirit because His Spirit is on the inside.  I am valuable to Him and to His people, wherever I am.

Experiencing God not something I have to earn because I got up early and sat down to be quiet.  He is always available.  I knew this, but because I was so wrapped in insecurity, doubt was fostered, so I have always struggled with mentally accepting it.  I knew it in my heart but my head didn't believe it.  So, by practicing centering on Him, wherever I was, talking (mostly silently...which has also been a stretch for me, to believe I'm praying with power when not speaking) about whatever was happening or on my mind.....The Lord and I got just that much closer.

On the beach playing with my family, He was with me.

Cooking meals and cleaning up, He was with me.

In the morning before I got out of bed, He was there.

At night when I was dead tired, He was there.

Anytime......He was, is and will always be there for me.

I read parts of Psalm 139 this morning, in which King David describes this whole concept.  This is my version of it:

You have searched me.  You know me.  You see me wherever I am, in whatever I'm doing.  You know what I am going to say before I say it.  He protect and keep me, holding me, making me safe and secure in Your care and compassion.

I seek You again, so You can sort-through me, soaking into me, renewing me.  Anything that offends You, remove from my heart, mind, soul and life.  Let me continue to walk the love-lighted path, being made more fully alive in You.  Renew the best of You in me.

Things got back to semi-regular status this weekend and I am grateful for it.  I'm grateful for the time away because there is just nothing quite like coming home - to our home and our church home. I'm continually grateful and finding that is the key to unlocking the Presence to flood my heart and mind again. 

There is still much to pray for.  Our world needs our prayers more than ever.  God's people need hope and direction or they will continue to wander in the wilderness.  I am called and you are called to roll up our sleeves and do our part.

But thankfully, He also calls off to far-away places, for refreshing and restoration.  I got that, praise God.  I'm ready to work again. 

2015: Year of Prayer, Week 24-25

For it is God's will and intention that by doing right (your good and honest lives) should silence (muzzle, gag) the ignorant charges and ill-informed criticisms of foolish persons. (1 Peter 2:15, AMP)

This morning, I started on Psalm 34:8  (Taste and see the Lord is good!)  But in weeks like the last couple, it gets real easy - too easy - to move from a position of grace to a position of anger (righteous, justified or otherwise).  I ended up in 1 Peter 2 because the Apostle references Psalm 34:8, as he is instructing Christian believers (I tend to think they were probably Messianic Jews; his words apply to us Gentiles too.)  He is helping them understand how to act in a time when their faith was a liability in the eyes of the world.

These last 10 days make me think our faith looks like a liability to some now too.

Between the shooting at Emanuel AME church in Charleston 10 days ago, or the ruling by the Supreme Court on Friday morning making same-sex marriage legal nationwide, it seems more than ever as Christians, we need to not only KNOW the right way to act to please God and draw others to Him......but do it. 

(Of course that means we will apply that to life differently, so grace and love must be the rule in every situation...especially in the family of faith.) 

One of my very good friends got a word from the Lord about 2015: RAPID.  Now is the time, there is probably not many more moments to waste if you are on the fence about making Jesus front and center in your life.  I'm not a harbinger of doom, but based on some of the commentary I've seen on social media....in the United States being a Christian may start doing us more harm than good.

But there is lies the challenge and what Peter was saying.  Jesus is either a stumbling block or a stepping stone (1 Peter 2:8).  He is either going to trip you up or raise you up.  He will either cause you to fall on your face or He will turn His face upon you (Num 6:24). 

In the case of Dylann Roof killing 9 brothers and sisters in Christ during a prayer meeting on 6/17/15, Christ was obviously a stumbling block.  But for those believers left behind, He was a stepping stone to lift them up to show what is possible with Christ.  Last Sunday, our pastor preached the quintessential message on this and in it, showed the video where Roof was confronted by several of the victim's family members...and they forgave him.  The clincher was the last lady to speak.  She was actually there, a witness to his crime....and she only spoke forgiveness.  Here is that video:

What is impossible with man is possible with God.  Forgiving the man who you watched murder 9 of your church family members less than 48 hours afterwards is impossible, short of the indwelling and overflowing of the Holy Spirit.

To the other major event this week, I'm not going to say much about same-sex marriage, other than I don't agree with it.  I have prayed and sought the mind of the Lord repeatedly on this issue and my heart is never changed.  However, I don't have to agree with a lifestyle to love someone.  In that same vein, as children of God, we don't have to be on the same side politically to worship Christ together.  The Lordship of Jesus Christ in our lives trumps every human institution and affiliation.

Our cultural system accepting and even promoting the LGBT way doesn't shake me.  What causes me concern is when it starts to affect our ability to freely live our faith.  That's where this is going, in case you didn't realize it.  Christians who support gay marriage will eventually feel the squeeze on their faith, just as those of us who don't agree with the ruling. 

My prayers (and the prayers of others) for the last 2 weeks (even longer really) have been for the Body of Christ.  We have got to put aside our doctrinal, denominational, political and self-serving issues and come together.  Revival is here and if anything gets in the way of you loving a brother or sister in Christ, it is time to sweep that leaven out of the house.  

Peter's words in his nearly-2000 year old letter are so critical to us now.  We must conduct ourselves properly, not according to our own understanding.  We must lean even more heavily into who the Lord has revealed Himself to be.  We must love the brotherhood - the Christian family - taking pains to make sure we don't give unbelievers any more ammunition not to come to Christ.  We have tasted and seen the Lord is good.  We KNOW HE IS.  It is time to demonstrate that to the world so they, too, will see He is good.

I know this doesn't sound much like a record of my prayer journey but it is.  This is a post for me.  This is me pouring out my heart to God.  This is me going vertical.  This is what is on my mind.  I am not perfect, nor will I ever be on this Earth (praise God, I will be in heaven!).  It is convicting to look back on my day yesterday and see how many times I failed to reflect His heart especially when emotions and hot-bed issues are involved.

So, I repent.  I ask for forgiveness.  I ask the Lord to create a right spirit in me, not one of my own making, but right in His eyes.  I don't want to be known for anything other than my faith.  It speaks the loudest, through the actions of my life and my character. 

It is a challenging business being a Christian.  I pray for me.  I pray for you.  I pray for all of us.  We are heading into perilous waters.  But I know the One who walked on the waves.  And so did Peter, which is why he could tell us how to live, even as he was walking it out too (pun intended). 

Let my heart reflect Yours, Oh, Lord.  Help me.  Help us, Your People. Help our nation and our world.  Let us become more aware of Your Presence.  Let us experience....let us taste and see and live for...the glory of Your Goodness.

2015: The Year of Prayer: Week 18

But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. - Micah 7:7

If you are looking for passages of Scripture to memorize, that's a good one because it is easy.  Its "address" is easy too.  Sometimes we just need the fundamental truth of God - anticipation, hope, salvation, recognition, expectation.  We have prayers, needs that are yet to be met.  Fulfillment of what we know God will do is not quite complete.  It's the now-not yet principal of our faith.

Thankfully, though, we have one advantage over the prophets - what they longed for, what they predicted - what here Micah eagerly awaits - we already know.  Messiah has come and He has finished the work for all of us.  The Apostle Paul (who I have a complicated relationship with although I truly love the guy) completes the thought of the promise from Micah in 2 Corinthians 1:20: For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.

It is significant Paul uses "Amen" in this verse because Amen actually means "Let it be so," or "It is so."  We end our prayers with that word (knowingly or unknowingly, as I wasn't aware of this till recently!) and we are saying, God, this is Yours.  We have prayed to You, now let Your will be established.  Let it be as You say it will be and we will give You all the glory for it.

In prayer, saying Amen is a final act of relinquishing - of giving everything over to God to do with as He sees fit.

I say all of this only because it highlights my week.  After last week (read about Week 17 here), this week felt more like a lull.  In the church seasons, we live most of our life in "Ordinary Time," (although technically that's not the season we are in).  This week has felt pretty ordinary.  Having every week be like last week is not physically speaking, sustainable....(our bodies need rest from the adrenaline soaked workings of the Holy Ghost)...still, this week sort of felt like a downer.

Not for lack of great God work.  Another young man I've been walking life with, Oliver, experienced a major deliverance on Sunday morning from 18 years of having to control everything.  He walked into our prayer time with back spasms and TMJ.  He walked out healed of the back spasms and well on his way to being freed from his painful jaw condition, with new spiritual weapons at his disposal.

On Wednesday, my good friend Audrey experienced the power of prayer like never before.  She was the recipient of the wonder-working power of the agreement of God with His people.  It was really intense and highlighted for me how much I need (we all need) Him directing things, so we can make those giant leaps into greater freedom.

Thursday, my friend Brad's sister Brooke, was seriously ill coming back from vacation.  She had to be rushed to the ER on her layover here on her way home to L.A.  Yet, thanks to God's foreknowledge, she was in the best place for care.  She obeyed the Lord when booking her trip.  She asked Him where she should connect through and He answered.  Months later, she was delivered into the best hands possible, medically and emotionally speaking (her family lives here). After only 48 hours in the hospital, she's been discharged, no surgery or procedures required, resting at home with her mom.  We are believing she will be well enough to come to church with her family on Sunday!   

Only God.

The tapestry He is weaving in the community of faith in Houston (and the U.S.) is taking shape for all who wish to see it.  It is incredible to be a part of!

As busy as God has been this week, so has the enemy.  I don't say that to give him any credit, I truly can't stand that devil.  He has been stirring up trouble, working to wreak havoc.  That's why Oliver had back spasms in the first place, and Brooke got sick.  None of that mess was from the Lord. 

For me personally, there were some tough lessons.  Character development is always rough.  Still, I'm thankful.  I know nothing is wasted, God is the original recycler.  He takes the past and the present, when we let Him, making all our trash into beautiful, useful, helpful new creations.  (See Genesis 50:20 and Romans 8:28)

One of the big things I learned was not to focus on the one area that is wrong in a relationship.  Instead, I need to let Holy Spirit shift me up a level - to look at the bigger picture.  Having a myopic view of a situation is very dangerous.  When you focus on the one area that is out of whack or balance, it ruins fellowship, connection and intimacy.  People aren't just one day, one week, one habit.  God made us whole in Christ, each on our own journeys towards the greater abundance He came to give. (see John 10:10).

There are no overnight successes in the Kingdom of God!  When you look back, you see the Hand of God working all along, bringing you to the right place, ready to receive.  However, the insidious tactic of the enemy is to make us think we should all be instant rock-stars of faith at the moment of salvation; no longer needing the grace of God because we are all perfect. The enemy of our hearts WANTS US only to focus on what needs to change because he knows, if we are grateful for what God has and is doing, his plan of destruction is already lost.

It is all too easy to try and jam our fingers into our brother's eye to dig out the speck and forget the logs God has surgically removed, with His instruments of gentleness and grace, from our own.

If I know one thing, though, this life is not a sprint.  It isn't even a marathon.  My pastor and dearest friend (and this week counselor), Christian Washington, pointed that out a few months back - our lives of faith are actually triathlons!  You might finish swimming, but then you have to get on the bike.  You get off the bike only to start running.  We are never "done in Christ," this side of eternity and to forget that is to forget our need for God - and then we start leaning too far into our own understanding.  

It doesn't mean we stop praying or encouraging change where it is needed.  Jesus met people where they were but never left them that way.  Jesus was the Master of knowing what kind of pressure - and where - to apply.  He rarely spoke a harsh word of rebuke to His Disciples.  There was that one time with Peter (Get behind Me satan...) but even then, that was to crowbar Peter out of his own understanding of what the Messiah was to do.  

In this week of "the lull," I have to keep in mind He is in charge and I am not.  When I try to make every week like last week, every day a mountaintop, trying to do Holy Spirit's work for Him, I will be disappointed.

We need the lulls to recover.  It doesn't mean we aren't doing anything.  Rather, we are taking the critical step of resubmitting ourselves to His direction.  When a farmer plants a field, much of the time it looks like nothing is happening, but the fruit is growing.  At the right time, those mountaintops will be revealed and all our labors will not have been in vain.  The harvest will be ready and ripe.  We will work side by side with the Lord and each other to reap it.  (See Galatians 6:9-10)

Until then, like Micah, in certain areas of my life, I watch in hope for the Lord.  I wait expectantly for God my Savior to come in fullness, to answer, to help.  The answers to our prayers enter our dimension when the time is right, but the Lord has already released them.  They are above and ahead of me.  I'm the one that has to catch up to the "Yes," of God.

So, in hopeful expectation of that YES...I will say AMEN.

2015: The Year of Prayer - Week 16

I opened my Bible this morning, kind of a shot in the dark, to John 6 - where Jesus walks on water, then declares (more than once....quite a few times actually) He is the Bread of Life.

This is one of those I AM statements which has been hard for me to grasp.  In fact, in the ensuing text, the statements Jesus makes and questions those statements raise are hard.  They were hard to hear for His Disciples and they are hard to hear now. But in light of the last 9 days, I'm starting to really get it.  You see, this week in prayer has been about miracles.  Our worship leader called that out on Tuesday of last week and they became real the very next night.

People delivered from the grip of sin and the enemy, filled with the Spirit of God.  Lives changed.  Love, healing, grace on full display.

It's one thing to hear about it and be amazed.  It is another thing entirely to be a participant in someone's healing - to be a witness.  If When you have the privilege to be a part of it - when you have surrendered the details and outcome of the work to the Lord and then just let Him do it....it changes you and your prayer life FOREVER.

It has not been hard to ask the Lord to do miracles in people's life in the last 9 days.  When, like in Acts 2, you are filled with awe....asking for big, bold things doesn't seem as hard anymore.  It makes your prayers (or at least mine) more specific, targeted and centered on the will of God.

No more lukewarm prayers.  It's time to ask Me for what you really want.

God gave me that word last Thursday morning.  I'd been dancing around asking for something really big for maybe 10 years.  I've known I'd been lacking in faith for it the last 2.  Last Thursday, He finally put me on the spot.


It was what Mark Batterson writes in The Circle Maker, "If Jesus were to meet you face-to-face and ask, “What do you want Me to do for you?,” what would you answer?  What would you dare to ask of Jesus….and have the confidence that it is something He wants to accomplish in and through you?

(No coincidence there I start teaching this premise of drawing circles in prayer on Sunday.....)

Very early, as I lay in bed that morning, I humbly but boldly asked God for the thing I most wanted Him to accomplish in my life.  I'm waiting to see the reality of it, but because it is His will (and I've seen His will accomplished innumerable times in my life, especially in dramatic ways here recently) - I KNOW THE ANSWER IS ALREADY YES.

The timing of reading John 6, like the time and place of Jesus' declaration He is the Bread of Life, is significant.  He is at a place where they needed faith, not miracles, to believe.  15 weeks into this journey and it feels like I'm to the place of assured faith and the miracles are the icing on the cake.  Maybe it is has taken this long to prepare me (although I don't always feel prepared or very capable of doing what He asks of me).  Maybe I'm finally full enough - on His Bread, His Way, His Nourishment - instead of depending solely on my own.

I do know one thing: Prayers are my legacy.  A lot of people don't feel like you are doing very much when you pray, but I want to assure you.....you are doing the most powerful thing in the universe.  When you pray about something or someone - especially when you pray in the Spirit - you are literally shaking the foundations of the spiritual atmosphere around you.  You are making room for the God of Heaven to come and make His Home on your plot of Earth.

I don't just pray, I expect God will continue to do bigger and betters things.  Not just because I've seen the miraculous in the last week.  But because I am, my family is, nothing short of a miracle.  It took many months/years for the miracle to be revealed.  We are living stones representing the grace and love of God.  Jesus has given/is giving me (and us) more than our fill, more than our share of spiritual, emotional, mental and physical blessings.  He has given us the entire package - Himself.

With Him running things, we will never go hungry.  Whoever believes in Him will never be thirsty.

Who else, in the history of the world, has dared to make such an audacious, bold, impossible declaration???  No One!


I'll leave you with this....maybe you are in a situation where your faith is sagging or you've prayed for something for years and it is like a big empty hole in your soul.  Take that prayer back to God and really listen.  Ask for eyes to see how He is filling you and answering that prayer.  Change your position (from sitting to on your knees....from on your knees to on your face on the floor); change the place where you pray.  Change something in your atmosphere, so you can be given a different perspective on what and how you are praying.

The Bread of Life will meet you there.  Jesus will satisfy you.  He promised and He never goes back on a promise.

Maybe you are my friend who doesn't pray, doesn't believe in God.  I ask you to give Christ another shot.  Don't lean into what you already know about Him or what you've seen of Him in the lives of others.  Really open yourself, not for a minute or a day, but for longer than you ever have.  Give the Lord some space, reserve a chair for Him at your proverbial breakfast/lunch/dinner table.

I'm praying you will experience Him in a way(s) that change your life - your eternity - forever.

He has yet to disappoint me.  I've thought He had but looking back on those moments of doubt, they were clouded by fear and uncertainty in my situation....not in God.  Keep praying, He will not delay.  My refuge and strength...I will not fear.  He promise is true.....ALWAYS.

2015: The Year of Prayer, Week 15

This week is good.  Not that there aren't things I'm swimming upstream against, but my intensity about it all seems to have come down a few (much needed) notches.  Of course, who knows what the next few days have in store, but I want to report on some good teaching I encountered, which really hit home on the point of making this year - 2015 - all about prayer.

There is a better best way to do things.

When I'm experiencing those feelings of stress, fear, frustration (etc.), I'm leaning on and into my own understanding of the situation.  I'm trying to process what is going on with my mind alone, rather than involving my heart, where Jesus is.  In Proverbs 3:4-5, we are instructed NOT to do that....
Lean NOT on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

"Jesus meets us where we are, but He never leaves us that way."  The rubber meets the road of this statement only in prayer.  It is there, before God and in conversation with Him where I am set free and right.  By not only talking to Him about what is going on, but listening for His perspective, I can move from good to better to best.  Prayer is when Jehovah shows me what the Apostle Paul called....The Most Excellent Way. (1 Cor 12:31)

That's the progression - the walk of faith - is always towards better.  But more than just getting to better, He wants us to get to THE BEST.  Every good father wants that for his children, so knowing who the Lord is, He is THE BEST Father; so He wants THE BEST for His children.....us, the People of God.

Sometimes the best requires walking uphill.  We are not meant to keep walking flat.  There has to be some peaks and valleys to strengthen our different faith muscles groups.  I feel as though much of this year has been one continuous training run, going uphill.  The good news is I will (eventually) reach the end of the race (this season).  And then I'll start a new one, the race this season prepared me for.

It is all about the preparation.  That's the adventure of Christ - always a new level, new mercy, new experience, new truth to make a part of your life with Him.  There are seasons of rest, to wind down and recover.  I did that for about 6 months after Sophia finished treatment because I had to figure out what life was about again.  When those times of rest are over - we are meant to get up and walk again with Him from glory to glory.

The Great Evangelist Smith Wigglesworth wrote this (which I read yesterday),

Any number of people are satisfied with "good" - that is, justification or salvation.  Other people are satisfied with "better" - that is, a sanctified life, purified by God.  Other people are satisfied with the "best" - that is, the fullness of God with revelation on high.  So I come to you with the fullness of God in the Holy Spirit through His baptism.  I come not with good, but better; not with better, but with best.

To say this was a challenge for me would be a gross understatement, but not a discouraging challenge.  I prayed, asking the Lord to keep moving me toward His best.  Truly, that is what I desire and the Lord works in us in such a way to make sure our desires line up with His; so He can give us what we ask for that will also bring Him maximum glory.

Then, after reading and praying through that early, a couple hours later, I was listening to Chuck Swindoll.  At the end of his message, he said the same thing, only another way!!!

Swindoll called the progression an extension of John 14:6.  He said salvation was finding Jesus as The Way; sanctification was learning and walking in Jesus as the Truth.  Finally, this glorified, best way was living with Jesus as our Life.  Get in the spirit, walk in it and move towards learning to live all the time in it. Good is ok, but it just barely scratches the surface.  Better is getting there, more and more of God at every turn. BUT BEST IS WHAT WE WERE MEANT FOR.

I will always need more clarification on what to desire more of in my relationship with Christ.  I don't want to settle, in any area of my life and I'm asking the Lord to show me where I have.  I've made a decision to start seeking His best, every time I pray.  I want the Lord to so renew my mind, I can discern the 3 options Paul gives in Romans 12:2 - the good, acceptable and perfect will of God.

It is daunting, to be sure, to seek the perfect will of God.  More valleys will follow but I learn more in the valleys than the mountaintops.  And because the perfect will is the best, I don't have to fear what is coming.  Jesus will be right there, making sure goodness and mercy keep me company all the days of my life with the end result being I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever (Psalm 23:6).

I'll end with two questions: are you settling for only good or better?  What would happen if you sought God's best for your life?

Keep journeying and look forward to meeting up with you long the way....

2015 Year of Prayer - Week 9 and 10

So, this is a combo post because last week got away from me.  I’m all of a sudden playing catch up in a lot of areas of my life, which causes me no end of heartburn because I hate that feeling.  I have a lot of irons in the fire and I have not been disciplined enough to keep up with them all because I’ve put myself first.

Not in a good way, but in ways that drain my energy and sap my passion.

I actually had a post written for Week 9 but just never got around to editing it enough to put it up.

The short version of Week 9 is: I came face to face with my need for real, Godly rest.

Rest was the theme, rest was what was needed but rest I did not get.  Sometimes life just does not allow for it.  So, I slugged on through, engaging in some bad habits of the flesh (including a lot of sleep and T.V. watching) and got behind.

When I have a lot to do – and really when I haven’t managed my time well, instead of buckling down– I go the other way.  I don’t want to do ANYTHING.  So, that was last week.  It’s not that nothing got done, just not as much as I’d planned or wanted to do.

Enter Week 10.  I got a resource last week called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.  He is the pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C. and not only does it chronicle the development of that church (and Mark’s personal prayer life), it sets the bar high for those of us who truly desire to see God’s greatness on display in our lives.

Well – that’s me.  I want it on display.  That’s why I’m documenting my prayer life this year.  I want to look back and say, “Holy God, You have done amazing things that everyone can see!”

Within the first four chapters of the book, I knew it was anointed.  This is the perfect time for me to read this book – in my life, the life of my family and the life of my church.  A new friend at church told me about it Thursday but another friend told me about over a year ago, so she should really get the credit for this revelation of my spiritual life. 

(Thank you Wynter and especially thank you Leslie for being so patient with me.  :D)

It has challenged me to dig into God with my hopes, dreams, fears and frustrations - along with long standing Scriptural promises I'm hanging on to.  Instead of thinking God wants my prayers to be “fresh and new” all the time, He is showing me how to P.U.S.H.

Pray (and Praise)

Until

Something

Happens

He led me to do a prayer fast.  For 28 days, I am to meet Him from 3 – 3:30 A.M.  That’s right, in the morning.  The point of these early morning meetings is to listen to God…to hear what He wants to say.

No caveats, no boundaries.  Whatever God wants to talk to me about for 30 minutes, He gets it.

I suppose because I wasn’t doing much listening before.  This is an effort of faith, trust and stamina.  I have an alarm set and I guard myself against going back to sleep.  After that time period is up, I do get to go back to sleep (which I am so grateful for) but it is going to take a little while for my body to adjust.  This is day 4 of the fast, which goes until Easter Sunday (which is also my 40^th birthday).  So far, He has taken 2 of my prayer circles and added to them, and given me a couple more as well.  He has given me Scripture for all but 1 of them and I fully expect the biblical promise for that one will make itself known pretty soon!

I have no idea how to define progress in this type of endeavor, other than my level of passion for the things of God has been amped up considerably.  Maybe that is more than enough.  This year – this year of prayer – is all about learning at the feet of Jesus and growing in my desire for Him, His Purposes and His People. 

I am getting more and more Mary time.  I also redeems the Martha time, making the rest of my day much more productive.

Of course I have to apply myself during the time I have, which is my current (flesh) challenge.  The spirit is willing but the flesh is SO WEAK.  But it is what it is and as I wrote a few weeks back, the more I pour into the things of God, the more He pours out the ability to do everything else.

First things first – starting at 3 am. 

I’m circling my prayers, circling my wagons and expecting big things from God.  I am confident I will see the goodness of God in the land of the living!! (Psalm 27:13)

2015 Year of Prayer - Week 8

The potential for God to do the level of things never seen on this continent, or at least on the scale we have seen, is frankly, tremendous.  When we agree in prayer, knowing His will and praying for His Kingdom to Come, stuff starts getting D.O.N.E.

I've gotten more glimpses of the investment in prayer starting to pay dividends this week.  By dividends, I mean God answering prayers in ways that exceed way above what I could possibly think.  I'm not only seeing Him answer, I'm getting glimpses of how He weaves situations together as only the One with His perspective can.  He is, literally-speaking, the Only One sitting up high enough to see how it all goes together.  For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9)

Prayer can be hard.  I won't lie and say there are days I would rather (and sometimes do) stay in the cozy warmth of my covers and my husband's prodigious body heat (he's like my own personal space heater).  Still, I just know I'll be missing out unless/until I get with the Lord.  I tell you what though, the things I'm seeing happen get me excited to get out of bed and talk with God!  The prayer of a righteous man (and woman) avails much. (James 5:16)

There are 2 keys to "availing much," as I can tell.  We need to maximize the potential of our prayers with faith and gratitude.  When we pray using these tools of heart and mind, not only do we line up with God's heart and mind, but I imagine there is a sonic boom in the heavens, as God releases the answer which blows away the presence of the enemy; there is atomic energy potential in prayer!

Prayer is like an muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. The opposite is true: the less you pray, the flabbier your prayers.  Faith, like prayer, is developed through experience and knowledge.  You pursue faith as much as it is a gift from God.  You can certainly ask for more faith - Mark 9:24 demonstrates when the father of the demon-possessed boy asks Jesus for help believing He could heal.

Throughout my faith walk, the Lord has given me special "dispensations" in certain situations - an extra dose of faith to believe in what He can/will do.  It isn't something radical: I just have zero doubt He will do it. I don't ever really know how He will, but I know He will and that is all that He asks....for faith the size of a mustard seed.

•  (a mustard seed is smaller than this bullet point.)

 I have a few of those "dispensations" right now, including my friend Audrey who I wrote about a few weeks back (read about her here.)  I know my faith is not now (or ever) in vain.

We have to faith but Scripture also tells us over and over to encapsulate our prayers with gratitude.  Gratitude does more to usher me into the presence of God than anything else.  This morning, while I was swimming, I began to see gratitude as the streamline of prayer.

For those of you who are not swimmers, humor me.  Streamline is the position you adopt the second you push off the wall.  You can see in the diagram above, the better your streamline, the farther you can go with less work.  Your arms locked above your head, one hand on top of the other; your stomach and legs also tight together.  But if your position is floppy, your streamline will do you more harm than good.  A bad streamline means, instead of helping you cut through the water, it will slow you down.

Streamlining is the key to doing less work for more dividend.  Think of it this way: if you glide nearly halfway across the pool, you only actually swim half a length, instead of the whole!  It is worth the effort to tweak your form to get a streamline right for sure.

Gratitude gets us halfway across the divide between us and the Lord.  It slices through our thoughts, feelings and even our will power.  Gratitude put us right in the lap of Our Father in Heaven. I can testify the mornings I practice gratitude upon waking are the mornings I get the most out of prayer.

There are endless ways to express your gratitude to God: adoration, admiration, worship, praise and thankfulness.  They are all birds of the same kinda feather.  You don't just have to speak your gratitude either, you can sing, dance, get on your face on the floor, write, paint, walk...You can also just sit in restfully in the silence, basking in the goodness of God.

The body position and action of our prayers are not nearly as important as our heart position.  Faith gets us to ask in prayer.  Gratitude gets our hearts ready to receive His answers.

When we thank God, especially when we thank Him in advance of seeing the answer, we are doing heavy weight training of our prayer muscles.  We are building up what Jude calls "our most holy faith."  It takes faith to believe what we ask for, in His Name, He will do.  It takes gratitude to appreciate and see what He is doing in our lives and the lives of others.

Prayer is the most powerful of all our Christian muscles.  Keep strengthening yours as I strengthen mine.  Just imagine the work of God we will be looking back on in December!

2015: The Year of Prayer - Week 7 - A Recap So Far

No longer be conformed to the image of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...Romans 12:2 (my version)

The pruning continues, but a change is in the wind.  You see, in talking to my friend Leslie, I realized I've been focused mainly on the areas the Holy Spirit has been cutting off.  Those hurt, so it is easy to put your attention on them.  Pruning isn't fun and has, at times, brought out the worst in me.  But that's only part of the story. 

You see, when you snip off the "bad," leaves/stems/fruit/blooms, the way I understand it, there is more nutrition for the healthy part of the plant.  I'd already had in mind to write a short synopsis on the fruit that is blooming and this idea was confirmation.  I don't do every thing well and I am facing challenges.

But in the current analysis, these struggles are "light and momentary afflictions," especially compared to what we've been through and what is coming.  God's mercies are abundantly new EVERY MORNING, PRAISE GOD.  We keep getting chances to start over and as my pastor likes to say, If you are still breathing, there is still hope. Not all the fruit is ripe but there is joy in seeing it grow and change color.  This process is able to take place because the bad is coming off and the good is getting more time, attention, care and feeding. 

So far in the Year of Prayer, strange and wonderful things have been happening.

I'm more intentional about my prayer and spiritual life.  I have more joy in it and I have more of a hunger for God.  My hands are staying cleaner, my heart is turning more and more to the Lord instead of others.  My eyes stay open longer each day (some days that is literally).  I am more easily able to let go of the things of this world, the enemy and the flesh - to pour into the Spirit. 

I'm centered in on what God wants as my priorities: my marriage, my children, my church and those currently in my sphere of influence.  I am better able to love them, be there for them, have compassion for them and treat them as the Lord desires me to treat them.

My (older) children are beginning to really see what it means to live for Christ in a world that increasingly doesn't.  They are experiencing the goodness of God for themselves, in their own struggles.  They, too, are growing to bear fruit.  (I know because of their desire for God, their little sister will also find her place in His Kingdom when she is old enough.)

My church is growing - physically, spiritually and emotionally.  We are seeing miracles as He builds up this Body of Christ to do the work He has specifically assigned for us.  Our hearts are being knitted tighter together, in preparation for the work, challenges, trials and rewards yet to come.

I'm writing every single day.  That's new for me and it is really cool to know I don't have to be a slave to a word count, but I do need to walk in faithfulness to these gifts He's given.

We have more peace in our lives.  We have more favor.  We have more blessings.  We are being made aware of how we are currently conformed, yet still needing conformation to the character, love and work of Christ.

The Year of Prayer has not been without its fits and starts but fear, frustration, sin and stress are being replaced with faith.  There have been some pretty major dust ups and failings, but I am not discouraged.  I know each day is an opportunity to see God's hand.

Now it is Lent.  This is always an intense season and I'm looking forward to it like never before.  It has a beginning and an end and some of the testing and trials going into this season will end with it. I'm really looking forward to that.

I'm looking forward to looking back.  Easter Sunday (my 40th birthday...which makes me feel legit :)) will be around Week 13, so I'll try to do another recap then.  In the meantime, stay encouraged.  The battle isn't over but it is already won.  With that victory comes freedom and the chance to do something really great - something God will make sure that lasts.

Let me know how your year is going and keep going.  We are seeing the fruit begin to bud and only more is yet to sprout!

2015: The Year of Prayer - Week 6

In a certain seasons of life, the Holy Spirit will keep bringing the same verses and ideas to your attention. That's happening right now for me, but instead of a verse, He is bringing me an entire chapter. Perhaps that means I'm getting where I can handle more but I think the more likely reality is I don't need just a trickle of a verse. I need the fire hose on full blast.

The chapter is Romans 8: bearing the fruit of the Spirit over fruit of the flesh.  I talked a lot last week about the process of bearing more fruit. (Read it here).  Oh, the pruning, snipping, clipping and stripping of my flesh continues.  I have to keep in mind the point of it all is to bear MORE fruit than I currently am. I did not anticipate this when I got into this high and lofty idea of THE YEAR OF PRAYER, but I probably should have.  (Let that be a lesson to you.)

But it is all good.  Honestly, I'm good with it.

One of the many things I love about Romans 8 is the intensity.  You've had all this build up about sin and salvation, Paul could quit while he is ahead.  But he doesn't, the dude just keeps going higher, like he is trying to be the first one to scale a spiritual Mount Everest.  The Apostle Paul is the Sir Edmund Hillary of the Gospel.  The language is beyond meaty, with every word, every sentence and idea you could chew on for the rest of your life.  It wins the aware for "Best Theology and Life Application" in my book.

Because really, what good is theology if you can't apply it to life?

I've been in this chapter since October and I'm only up to verse 5.  Paul is taking the idea of bearing spiritual fruit to the stratosphere and putting the screw to us all. Bear fruit, not just because you want to but because CHRIST DIED FOR YOU TO DO IT.

We are supposed to be an intentionally-fruit-bearing-people.  We should be paying attention to the way we spend our time, money, energy, gifts, etc. To live a lift worthy of Christ, you have to live it for the way God wants, not the way you want.  Make the space, the time, the effort for HIM, NOT YOU. Simple, yet utterly profound.

This past week was another step in the direction of Spirit over flesh.  It's not just about a change of spiritual nature anymore, the Lord wants the internal change to be reflected externally, more than it is at the moment. This is because, when my flesh is not up to par, it effects my....well, effectiveness....in the Spirit.  It's an object lesson of sorts.

Three months ago, the Lord gave me a line of faith to believe He wants to heal my thyroid/adrenal disease. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease (or hypo-thyroidism) 5 years ago.  I've been on medication since, of varying dosages. It was only when I was ready, when He'd prepared me to think differently about what He wants for my physicality, that I felt like I could believe this was not meant to be.  It took half of decade, but He moved me away from the thought "I will always be on this medicine," to "Maybe I can get off someday....soon!"  However, He reminded me my lifestyle would have to support this goal.

He would heal me, but I would need to do my part.

I have not been consistent or intentional.  Things are changing, but only slowly because I haven't been fully committed.  I haven't been paying full attention to what goes into my body and how well my body functions as a result.  Not in a legalistic way, but in a way that takes care of this 5'11" Temple of the Holy Spirit.

The crux of the matter is this: when I don't feel good, I am not at the top of my stewardship game.  I don't use my gifts, time, presence...all that goes into a life of service to Christ...as well as I could.  When I do what I want, I get sluggish and lazy.  This does not please God, Amy.

 Richard Foster writes in his book Prayer, 

God cares as much about the body as he does the soul, as much about the emotions as he does the spirit.  The redemption that is in Jesus is total, involving every aspect of the person - body, soul, will, mind, emotions, spirit.

When I do what pleases the Lord (which includes take good care of my body by eating right, exercising within healthy limits), I am a more effective servant.  When I pour into the Spirit, I'm a joyful steward of all He is given me; the fruit really starts to pop up all over the place.  When I pour into my flesh, I am an unwilling steward of His blessings; the fruit starts to wither on the vine.

This week is all about coming to see and understand this, not just in my head but in my heart . 

The writer of Hebrews echos Romans 8 well when in 12:1-3 (from the Message, of course),

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it..he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever...When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

The pruning in me is happening to create a lean-mean-fruit-bearing machine, for His glory and the good of myself and those around me. Freedom comes with responsibility.  That responsibility is to take back our God-given authority from the enemy.  We can regain the ground lost when we let our flesh rule the roost.  To do things God's way is to rest in His finished work and be released to share our redemption.  We can't do things our own way and expect the same results.

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. (Isaiah 43:19, NLT)

I need to keep my eyes open.
I need to keep my heart desiring His fruit over my own.
I need to be willing to go where He sends, with a new level of personal holiness in mind. (There is more coming on this as we take this journey through the upcoming season of Lent.)

If you find yourself flagging in your faith, it might be time for you to let the Lord do some stripping, getting rid of some spiritual (and for me physical) fat. Keep praying, keep pushing in, keep going over Jesus line by line.

The Lord has already given me the theme for Week 7.  "I am an under-rower."  I'll explain later! 

2015: The Year of Prayer - Week 5

^. There was a distinct theme of living this reality of #2015theyearofprayer.  I had no idea it would be like this but 5 weeks in, I can say it boils down to one idea in two thoughts.  The Lord calls it pruning.  I call it a roller coaster.

This past week has been intense on the inside.  On the outside, I have seen a lot of wonderful things happen.  I have been a vehicle for His Kingdom movement.  But inside, I have felt nothing but insecure.

It came up over and over and over again, in all kinds of situations.  Several times I didn't feel humbled (which I know to be good) but nearly humiliated by virtue of just being aware of my own internal dialogue. Other times, that internal dialogue got so vocal, it actually came out of my mouth in very unloving ways aimed at others.

At the same time that I'm experiencing the reward for my faith in months prior, I'm also looking inferiority in the face. It looks just like me. Oy Vay, Lord.

Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  Well, I tell you what Ms. Roosevelt, You Are Right!  I consented to feel inferior....all by myself.  It is tough to look into the mirror of our own souls sometimes.

This week has been a real head-trip, y'all.

The flesh must be disciplined.  That's what pruning really is: discipline.  It is learning to walk in self-control that comes from the power of the Holy Spirit and not self-directed will power.  It is a chance to let God take the garbage out and put in real treasure.  That's what insecurity is, by the way, GARBAGE.

Pruning is good because the purpose is to produce MORE fruit.  You can't produce God-levels-of-abundance without regular clipping.  Good gardeners don't prune on a whim or for pruning's sake.  The best are like botanical surgeons.  They know what they are doing; which areas to clip and which ones to leave alone.  Broken, diseased and rotting limbs must be cleaned off for new, healthy branches to grow. If you leave the bad limbs on, withered, puny fruit results. Good fruit comes from good, healthy, whole vines.

Jesus, The One True Vine, called us His branches.  He plainly states that He will prune us.  Why?  He prunes us in order that WE CAN PRODUCE MORE FRUIT.  (See John 15:1-3).  It's not for harm, it is for gain!  For more!  For greater!  He presses our good measure down to make room for more, to be filled to overflowing!  (See Luke 6:38)

It's Pretty But Some Pruning Required

That puts God's internal work these past few weeks into perspective for me.  And our God never wastes anything, even the stuff He prunes off.  It is all preparation for the next phase of life to be lived and fruit to bear....for His glory, our good and for the good of those around us. PRAISE GOD!

Our job is to keep our eyes in the right place.  If you were a patient on the table, you wouldn't watch the scalpel in a surgeon's hand.  So, as the branch of the vine, you don't watch the pruning shears in the Gardener's hand.  You keep your eyes on His face and your mind on the impending result of the pruning.  That's called the harvest.  I was reminded about two specials verses regarding the harvest this morning:

• Luke 8:8 - Still other seed feel on good soil.  It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.
• Galatians 6:9 - So let us not grow weary of doings what is good; for if we don't give up, we will in due time reap the harvest.

The harvest requires patience and perseverance to see.  If we are careful to trust Him, it will be more than we could ever expect or hope for.  As Pastor Andy Cunningham told our church yesterday during his sermon, God operates in parason.  It's the Greek word for abundance and it means over the top, almost wasteful, excess.  I was struck by the word, struck by my need for this.

Like Mary breaking open the jar of nard and pouring it over Jesus - an act of excessive abundance - the Holy Spirit will return the favor when we submit ourselves in worship and reverence to what the Lord needs to do in (and through) us.  He is not a miserly God.  He doesn't pay us what we deserve, or just a 15% tip on top.  No, He is a God who gives in ludicrous fashion.  He gives oceans of life to deserts of dry bones.

It is always more than enough because it is not just physical or spiritual or emotional.

You see, the Lord only gives in WHOLE-NESS.  In Hebrew that word is shalom.  He gives to every part of us - spirit, soul and body.  He is a complete God, so His gifts are for the whole of us.  He is making me more whole as He prunes off the dead weight.  Even though this week was tough, I know, over the next 60 days in particular, I will find myself getting lighter.  I will learn, in even deeper ways, how to walk in His easy, unforced rhythms of grace.  The Lord is preparing my family and me to receive more.  I'm in agreement with that process, so much so, that the last 2 mornings I've prayed the prayer at the end of this post, which comes from one of my go-to resources Prayers That Avail Much. I think I will keep praying it over the next 60 (now 59) days. 

I don't like to hype it too much, but after the first day of praying it, I saw fruit start to blossom in my house - PRAISE GOD!  Small victories, but victories none the less.  The prayer section is aptly titled: To Bear Fruit.  You are welcome to join me in this prayer and I look forward to what will happen as we watch and see how He does answer it in each of our lives!

Lord Jesus, You chose me and appointed me to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last.  Then the Father will give me whatever I ask in Your name.  Father, You are the Gardener.  You prune every branch that bears fruit, so it will be even more fruitful.  

The Apostle Paul said to be filled with the fruit of righteousness and that he desired that fruit might abound to our account.  Therefore, I commit myself to bring forth the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance.  I renounce and turn from the fruit of the flesh, because I belong to Christ and have crucified the flesh with its affections and lusts.

A seed cannot bear fruit unless it first fails into the ground and dies.  I confess that I am crucified with Christ: Nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me.  And the life that I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself up for me.  Father, I thank You that I am good ground, that hear Your Word and understand it, and that the Word bears fruit in my life - sometimes a hundredfold, sometimes sixty, sometimes thirty.  I am like a tree planted by the rivers of water that brings forth fruit in its season.  My leaf shall not wither, and whatever I do shall prosper.

Father, in Jesus' name, I thank You for filling me with the knowledge of Your will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding that I may walk worthy of You, Lord, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of You.  Amen.

Scripture References: John 15:16, Philippians 1:11, Philippians 4:17, Galatians 5:22-24, John 12:24, Galatians 2:20, Matthew 13:23, Psalm 1:3, Colossians 1:9, 10 

2015: The Year of Prayer - Week 3

Here's the short version of Week 3 in the 2015 Year of Prayer:

Focus on the strength of God, not your own weakness. 

I'm painfully aware this is not earth-shattering revelation, as much as I like to have those.  Seems the Lord is sending me back to the basics of the faith, rather than promote me to graduate school. (No doubt that is to deal with my pride.) As Beth Moore famously said in Psalms of Ascent, "The way up in God's economy is down."  To really live something, you have to go back to the basics.  So, I'm on the ground floor - going up, please.

This truth has stood the test of time, since Paul wrote the words God spoke to him,

My Strength is Made Perfect in your weakness. (2 Cor 12:9)

It is a core belief of the Christian faith as well as a bedrock of Scripture.  We must decrease in order for Jesus to increase.  I've physically felt better this week, which is nice, but a few times last week, I was still limping along. I leaned hard into this whole My Yoke is Easy and My Burden in Light business Dr. Dennis called out a few Saturdays back.  

For real, this week has been about putting that truth into practice. Thankfully, I has not been as difficult as I secretly suspected it would be.

I've known for a good few years now that my feelings are only the triggers of something deeper.

When my nose is out of joint (so to speak), it is an indication the problem isn't completely with the person who knocked it that way.  When my feelings - specifically of frustration, irritation and most recently, jealousy, surface - I've treated it as an opportunity to converse with the Lord.  Lately, I start the conversation with, "Lord, this is most definitely NOT easy right now."

It helps me to admit things to Him out loud, if I have the space to do so.  It is an act of breathing in fresh air; like opening a window when you've accidentally overcooked popcorn.  There are times when my feelings/thoughts just sound so ridiculous when I speak them out, I have to laugh.  In that laughter, my mental clarity is reset. The joy we find in truth realized is often what we need to wipe away the cobwebs of our emotions, expectations and intentions that distract us.

Not that all emotions are bad. They are God-given. The process of venting them has been shown to have great physical benefit. We just have to vent in healthy ways - and prayer (or straight-up talking to God) should be one of those ways.

This week I've discovered I have to be honest about being human.  To deny my humanity is to focus on my own strength. When I don't admit I'm human and I have weakness, I depend solely on my own (human) strength. Yet, when I see myself for who I am, a regular person, or better put: a creature, not the Creator; shows me I need help because I am weak.  I cannot do the things God can do!! I cannot force them into existence!

I have to let Him do that. Seeing my weakness for what it is gives me eyes to see a glimpse of how strong the Lord really is. Usually, a glimpse of His strength is all I need.  There is certainly day-to-day (sometimes minute-by-minute) drudgery. Laundry still must be done, diapers must be changed, homework must be completed and dinner must be on the table so the troops don't plot an uprising.  But there is freedom in that too. 

The Lord put me where I am and the only priorities I must have are the ones He gives me.  I don't have to lay man-made burdens on my shoulders.  I'm strong but I'm not as strong in myself as when I am in Christ.

It has simply been a week of taking a step back when I can feel things getting too heavy. I can actually feel it, in my body like when I've been clenching my arm too hard around Ella and the tendons in my elbows are straining to keep up.  When I feel a cramp coming on, I just put whatever I'm carrying down. There have been times when that has literally been Ella.

Other times it has been trying to pray health into myself. Last Wednesday, I let my precious sister Moseka pray healing into me and it was so easy, I nearly fell over. She had to catch me before I toppled over backwards because of the ease of which she prayed it in.

I got the opportunity to run outside at lunch today. Exercise has long been a vehicle of self-condemnation, but before Christmas, I got freed of that for good. I just stopped doing it unless it was obvious it wasn't going to mess with my head (and body).  Today, waiting on that release paid off.  It is glorious here in Houston and I was just so joyful as I jogged along. No strain and no negative self-talk because I was where I was supposed to be.

Then, I started listening to a song by NeedtoBreathe called "Keep Your Eyes Open."

As I neared my car, the Lord opened the lyrics up to me. It was Him speaking the words into my heart - continuing to instruct me how to walk with His Light Yoke on.  I included the video for it at the end of the post.

'Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You'll never make it to the great unknown
Till you keep your eyes... Open, my love.
 
So show me your fire, show me your heart
You know I'll never let you fall apart
If you keep your eyes... Open, my love.

The key to not getting tripped up by my own weakness is to keep my eyes open for God's strength. His Love is more powerful than any other force, it holds our bodies together. God's Love keeps the planets in orbit. He delights in His creation and we are a big part of that.

There is no shortage of seeing Him at work, seeing His strength manifested in my life and the lives of others. It is easy to see when I keep my eyes open. It only gets hard when I look at myself, to my own strength to do the things He wants to do.  

So, to close this week out, keep your focus on the strength of God. Keep your eyes open for what He is doing and when He is doing it.  And keep praying. It is early in the year yet friends, there is still so much more to see!!!

Christmas Hypocrite (No More)

We "Church Regulars" tend to make fun of those who only go to church on "Big" Days.  I know  because I'm one of those who's done it.  The ridiculous fact of the matter is I'm a hypocrite because I only used to go on Christmas and Easter.  But now I judge people for it.  Sad.

It's only been 11 years since that change.  Ironically, my re-salvation came from the lips of someone calling me a hypocrite.  My boss at the time, in a moment of frustration over my behavior in a meeting, pointed the proverbial finger at me and called me a hypocrite for claiming the name of of Christ and having none of His character.  This was truly a case of, when accused of being a Christian, there was no evidence to convict me.

I thank God He removed that identity a few painful hours later.  I felt (more than heard) Jesus ask me if I wanted to stop being a hypocrite and live up to the name I claimed.  I said yes and all I can tell you is something shifted in me - down to the very core of my being.  I got a new life, a new identity...His.  It hasn't been easy to figure out what that looks like, but it is a reality, as imperfectly as I sometimes demonstrate it to be.

Reflecting on that, my heart is stirred this morning by a Facebook post from my pastor, Christian Washington.  He shared out the original post by our "Big" Church, Chapelwood UMC.  It is a prayer from the perspective of those who don't go to church very often.  I included it at the end.

It makes no difference how many times you come to church because families aren't built on quantity.  They are built on the quality of love and blood-ties.  In the Church, we have both: the love of Christ and His shed blood makes us one with Him and His Father.  It is similar to this: I don't see my brother, Craig, every week, but that doesn't change the fact that he is MY BROTHER AND I LOVE HIM.

You are no less family even if we see you once or twice a year.

In the Body of Christ, we should be the MOST grateful for those we don't see often.  We should treat them like we miss them, so maybe they will want to come more often!  Yet, what usually happens is, we judge those visitors the harshest (even if, like me, we were once like them.)  We have all been prodigals - traveling towards a moment of realization that home is better than our present circumstances.  But us "older, more responsible brothers" tend to get our noses in a twist.  (See Luke 15:28-29 here.)

In the craziness of this world, the times we live in, the confluence of events happening in our nation and world, you never know what is going to motivate someone to enter (or re-enter) a relationship with Christ.  The best rule of thumb is always to pour the love on thick.  That is what Jesus would do.  It is what He has always done.  If we are to accurately celebrate His birth and future return, we best do it with love in our hearts for fellow man, not hatred because they don't live up to our standards.

To those who don't go to church often - if you have ever felt judged by stares, glares or even a nasty comment or two, please forgive us "regulars." I include myself in that plea.  We are imperfect people, obviously in need grace because we don't have it right yet, even if we think we do.  Forgive us our trespasses against you.

To those who do go to church often - do some heart-house-cleaning if you tend to judge others.  It hurts you more than them.  It hurts them too and it is not God's best for anyone.  Scoot to the middle of aisle, smile at everyone and bask in the glory of Your God.  He knows you well and He loves you more than you can imagine.

I prayed this back in November, but I hope the Lord makes this holiday season....different.  I hope He changes us in ways that leave us different for the rest of the year.  I hope His Presence is tangible in every Christmas Eve service, in every candle lit, in every song sung and in every word prayed or preached.

You are loved.  You are family.  And we are glad to see you.  Hosanna in the Highest! 

A Christmas Eve Prayer for Those Who Don't Attend Church - by Bishop Ken Carter
I don’t go to church very often, Lord.
I don’t go at all…well, I am here at Christmas.
I’m home then. I feel drawn to it.
I like the Christmas Eve service.
The coolness of the air,
the aroma of the candles,
the familiarity of gathering with strangers.
I feel like a kid again.
It’s surreal.

I know it’s common to make fun of people like me.
What can I say? I’ve drifted…
But something pulls me back
Are You speaking to me?

I connect with something in the sermon, sometimes,
but mostly it’s the music and the candles.
What is it about the candles?
Darkness and light.
Light and darkness.

I know about light and darkness. I live in both.
I’ve got some of both in me.
And yet there is an impulse,
a movement to be closer to the light.
And so the flame of a stranger touches mine
and I sing the chorus,

Son of God, love’s pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face…

That is the light, the face, the life I seek,
and in this moment, I am touching it.
And then a voice reminds me,
in the echo of ancient words
that are always needed,

the light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness did not overcome it.

I am speaking to you, Lord,
but on this night, from every conceivable direction,
you are speaking to me.

And I am listening.

To See the Glory of God

Didn't I tell you that if you keep trusting, you will see the glory of God?

I think my favorite section of Scripture, my #1 (from a long list of favorites), is John 11.  This morning, I added John 12 to it.  I never realized they were concurrent - Mary's anointing of Jesus' feet with her dowry (a jar of very expensive perfume); then wiping it off with her hair following Lazarus' raising from the dead.

That makes sense, of course.  You would throw a party, too, if your brother was raised from the dead.  At the very least, host a dinner party.  But I never saw it before.  Just goes to show you how fresh and exciting Scripture is.  Keep reading it!  

What got me started in John 11 was the verse I quoted above (v. 40), which is one of the Scriptures from today's Jesus Calling.  I've read that chapter a hundred times, but this verse jumped out at me because of a particular issue I've been praying over for my church.

I've been praying against unbelief.  I've been asking the Lord to remove any unbelief from the room, so we could see His glory, His work, His miraculous power clearly.  That we, as a congregation, wouldn't be party to any blocking of the Holy Spirit.  Because that is what unbelief does - it blocks us from seeing God at work.

Lack of belief not only blocks our vision of God's Handiwork, Scripture makes it clear that when unbelief is too thick, it can also keep God from doing His work.  Matthew 13:58 makes that clear.  Jesus could/would only do so much in His hometown because they couldn't/wouldn't believe His miracles meant He was Messiah.  Unbelief doesn't remove God's power - far from it.  I can say, though, it removes His willingness to display His power.  Unbelief displeases Him.  It saddens Him.  I would even go so far as to say it makes Him steaming mad.

Matthew Henry said this: "Unbelief is the great hinderance to Christ's favours."  And Pulpit Commentary echoes that thought: "Our Lord was hindered, not by lack of power, but by lack of those moral conditions which would alone have made his miracles really tend to the spiritual advantage of the inhabitants of Nazareth."

Here, in John 11, Jesus reminds Martha of the power of trust in Him.  This chapter is so rich and I especially love the radically different interactions with both sisters.  Both ladies are mourning the loss of their beloved brother (who, in verse 5, Scripture says Jesus also loved).  Yet, knowing the conditions of their hearts, He engages with them differently.  He gives Martha a chance to display her great faith in Him (redeeming her earlier upbraiding in Luke 10).  Then, when He sees Mary, we see Him break down.  He met them both where they were and it is so touching.  He is, in this chapter, fully man and fully God.

Jesus, the Lord, is not unmoved by darkness and death.  He is right in the thick of it.  Yet, He calls us to look beyond those present circumstances - really beyond the present, to eternity.  Through interactions with both sisters, He makes the same point: Believe in Me and you will Receive from Me.

How many times in our lives, in our church families, do we pull back from full belief in God and His power?

I know I have been there.  I have prayed BIG prayers, only to have them seemingly go unanswered.  I understand now, those prayers were on hold until I could receive the answer.  It isn't that I doubted His power, my heart just wasn't ready.  The answer was blocked from view because my heart still held onto a natural view, versus stepping into a supernatural view.

Some of us flat out don't believe miracles are possible anymore.  We can't even go there - it is too painful, too out of reach.  It is certainly too ridiculous, miracles are beyond the pale.  Those kinds of things happened in Jesus' time, in the Book of Acts, but not now....right?*

It is so hard when we don't see the evidence of our prayers.  They don't always come how we can or want to see them.  The details of the answers to our prayers are not our part.  Our part is to know, to believe and then to receive. 

http://www.thebricktestament.com/jn11_39.html

Martha knew Jesus was the Messiah.  Still, she balked at the idea of opening the tomb.  I get that. But then, she consented to receive when she consented to removing the stone.  She removed the barrier of seeing the Lord's wonders even when I am sure she didn't fully understand how He was going to work. But I feel sure her heart lept in anticipation when the men started to roll away the stone.  Her heart; then the tomb were opened. 

When you dare to believe, your heart opens wide in anticipation.  You may know.  You may believe.  So, the question is: Do you want to receive?

It is a small shift, with enormous consequences.  Martha put all her eggs, whatever remained following the death of her brother, in Christ's basket.  She gave Him all she had and He delivered, above and beyond what she could imagine.  She believed Jesus could have healed Lazarus from his sickness, while he was still alive.  And it isn't that raising the dead was beyond the realm of possibility.  Still, that stretches the limits of our senses, our knowledge.  Dead people don't come back, better than before.  Do they?

Clearly they did then, and they still do.  I was a dead-woman-walking for 15 years and yet, Jesus called me out of the tomb of myself and I came.  Raising a physically dead person is just as great a miracle as raising a spiritually dead person. 

Our current church season of Advent is meant to make room in our hearts to receive.

Christmas and Advent are preludes to Easter, just as the raising of Lazarus is a prelude to Jesus' Resurrection.  We are meant, especially in this time, to want more - more of God; to see His works, His Goodness in the land of the living.  It is right to want and expect this.  The Lord is the Great (and perfect) Gift Giver.  We should expect He wants to give us more.  It is our part to make room in our hearts for Him to pour more in. 

I will continue to ask the Lord to clear my church, the very air of the room - of unbelief.  I want Him to remove any barriers, misconceptions, preconceptions and biases.  I want to see the Glory of God - on a regular basis.  I don't just want the spiritual candy of miracles and wonders, although those results of faith are awesome.  

More than that, I want the people in my community, as the great evangelist and miracle-worker Smith Wigglesworth once counseled a woman, to see Jesus and takes Jesus.

It really isn't any more complicated than that.  When the Lord wants to give, we are to believe and we will receive.  And He always wants to give.  Therefore, we are to always want to receive: Him, His promises, His blessings and His works.

I hope you would pray for belief in your own church family.  I hope you would pray that now, in the season of the Great Miracle of God coming to earth.  I hope you would pray that for yourself.  Let's look to see more of God and we will then see more of His workings in the world.  Keep your eyes open.  He is coming!

*Eric Metaxas' new book is called Miracles.  It is an excellent dissertation on what miracles are, why they happen and he gives some great examples from his own circle of friends.  I highly recommend it, for those who believe in miracles already - and for those who don't.