....Mondays are sheet days. I developed a set day of the week when I would change the sheets to, well, make sure I did it. My husband wasn't always on board but surprisingly, after multiple years of keeping this routine (although in T&T it was Wednesday), I have actually begun to truly enjoy it. It dawned on my one day that I even look forward to Mondays because I get to crawl into bed at the end of the day and the sheets are fresh and clean. There is a distinct physical pleasure I get when I crawl into a freshly made bed. Dave has noticed my excitement now and we have started talk it up on Sunday nights.
I bet you are wondering exactly what having fresh sheets on my bed has to do with being burnout on prayer. In a sane mind, probably not much but I'll get to the commonality in a minute.
*Deep Breath* I have to admit something to you. I have a dirty secret that isn't about sheets. And I hope others have it too. Actually, I'm counting on it so I don't continue to walk around with this guilt/shame/sick feeling all the time. Ironically, I'm praying I'm not alone.
I'm a devout Christian and I am burnout on prayer. I am just tired of praying for myself, my future, or even others. Oh - I still pray with my girls but that has become more of a teaching exercise. And when I say I'm burnout on prayer - I mean I am burnout on my quiet time. I have lost the knack of what to say to God. I know He wants to hear from me - and we have heart to heart conversations all the time. I think about Him often - I read His word and study it all the time. I LOVE to do that - and it's also a job perk. I do pray when The Word moves my heart - or a radio message or sermon. I pray like crazy in Bible Study and worship. I know still love Jesus with all my heart.
But talking to Him about me or others has gotten truly stale. So has asking for forgiveness. It's not that I'm no longer moved by my sinfulness - that's one of the things I constantly think about. But I am praying for the same things all the time. I just can't get down on my face and say "Lord, please...." right now. It's not for lack of things to pray about, for sure. Have I bought into the lie that He already knows my heart? Maybe a little. Do I have too many things to pray for? Definitely. Am I tired of telling Him the same things over and over again? Absolutely.
When I first started changing the sheets weekly, it was SUCH a chore. I was miserable doing it. But now I love Mondays because of sheet day. I just wish I was that excited about prayer again.
I was changing the sheets just now - I thought, why can't I look forward to praying like I used to? Why can't I get excited about it, like I am excited to crawl under these sheets tonight? I want to feel the power of Psalm 139, not just think "Yah - you know me, ok? You know what is going on so why do I need to tell you again?"
The long and short of it is - I have to pray about it. Maybe I need to fast from my dirty sheets of request and let Him change them into clean, white linen. So, that's my prayer today.
Lord - make me excited about talking with you again. Wash my laundry of prayer requests in The Blood of Christ. Show me again if I need to do any talking or just be still and know You are God. Help me see that you are my bed-maker and trust at the end of the day - I can lie in it. Show me when the best time is during the day and restore the joy of my salvation! In Jesus' Name! AMEN!
Have you ever felt this way? What have you done to overcome the slump?