A Meeting With The King - Ch. 2, Life of Grace Excerpt

I haven't done much book posting, so to be featuring an excerpt from a heretofore unpublished work, much less from Chapter 2 is a little unorthodox.  It's from the first book in a trilogy I'm working on, based on Matthew 22:37-40 (as well as Mark 12 & Luke 10).  It is in that verse Jesus redefines the Greatest Commandment and adds on another,  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.

Here is the summary of the trilogy, all based on that verse:
First book: Love the Lord (Life of Grace, because it all starts here).

Second book: Love Yourself (Life of Liberation, because we always forget that part).

Third book: Love Your Neighbor (Life of Agape, because when we are filled, whole and healthy, we can truly love others like Christ).

I wrote this passage after some intense prayer time this morning, in which the Lord gave me the visual.  I'd just read today's entry (August 17th) in Jesus Calling and the verses associated: Philippians 2:9-11 and Isaiah 43:1.  It comes towards the end of the chapter, as I'm really making the case for why living a life to experience the grace of God is the best way to live here on Earth.  You would think that was a no-brainer for those in the Church, but it isn't.  

Not yet at least.

So, that's all the introduction I'll give.  It's really more an mental exercise, to center on the Lord's love.  It was so powerful for me, I wanted to share it.  I pray it encourages you to dig deep in Christ.  Enjoy!! 

A Meeting With The King

Most people will change if there is something in it for them.  I learned this from my eleven years in sales.  In a life lived for the grace of God, there is much more in it than you can even imagine, but that’s, well, a hard sell.  It seems like pie-in-the-sky or even snake oil.  “Oh, great.  Everything I’ve always wanted.  Yeah, right,” says the cynic.  And a lot of us, in modern day American, even in the church, are cynics.  We’ve come to understand, through life’s various lessons, when someone says something is too good to be true….it is.

It fails unless it is based on the Truth.

So, based on Philippians 2:9-11, Isaiah 43:1 and Hebrews 4:12-13 (and probably a lot more) I want to stop to do a little mental exercise.  Let’s call it your commissioning in the Grace of Jesus Christ.  I’m not going to promise anything because only you will know what this little episode will mean at the end, but bear with me.  Read through the scenario in a quiet place, when you can give a few minutes  (if you are at home with small children, this could require waiting till they are napping or even sneaking off to the bathroom, which I have been known to do.  Of course, I used to do that at work too, so maybe the bathroom is just a good place for me.)  

Once you’ve read the text, sit with your eyes closed and imagine the scene before you…. 

You find yourself on your knees with your face to the ground, but you aren’t in any discomfort.  You are resting in that place, knowing it is right where you are supposed to be.  For split second, though, you take a quick peek around to see the room, which is grand and intricately ornate with impressive stained glass windows from floor to ceiling.  It is wall-to-wall packed with people, in the same position as you.  Still, you have the feeling as if you are the only person in the room.

You bow your head once again, only to hear your name called.  You look up to see the King, on His throne, majestic, supreme and totally in control.  He has all the trappings of a king – crown, scepter, royal and regal bearing.  You are cowed by the sight, He is that impressive.  In that second, you realize He was the one who called your name.  You remain kneeling, not quite sure what to do, when you hear Him call your name again.

You stand to your feet and meet His eyes.  They are kind, gracious but fierce.  They paralyze you until you see Him beckoning you forward.  Almost like He is pulling you in with a tractor beam, you begin to walk to Him.  You weave your way through the people, finally finding yourself standing before Him.  You are totally exposed, you know nothing is hidden from His sight.  The urge to fall on your face is so strong, you succumb.

Then you feel His hand on your shoulder.  He pulls you to your feet and you look up into His face, seeing only love there.  You know His name – Jesus Christ.  This is no ordinary King, but the Only King and you are floored to be in His presence.  He holds out His arms and wraps them around you.  You respond the same, melting into His shoulder.  It is the place you’ve always needed to be, the place you’ve always wanted to experience.  You want to stay there and not move, ever again.

The King turns His head, to whisper into your ear, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you.   I have called you by your name.”  He pauses, pulls you away to look into your face, then says,

“You are Mine.”

As you stand there, in the King’s embrace, those words echo into the space between your soul and your spirit.  They fill all the empty places you’ve tried to fill on your own your whole life.  They carry much more meaning then you could ever imagine.  They speak of purpose, meaning and the promise of no more toil.  You will not have to sweat and push; prod and force your way anymore because you are walking the path He lays out before you.  Your passion and His are one in the same.  You can rest and let Him take over.  Truly, nothing you do with Him will ever be done in vain.

You are safe, secure and confident in His care for you.  You are saved from all the bad you’ve done, the scars that remain, you know now, will fade with time in His presence.  All the love you’ve needed is present, in you.  You are whole, healed and full of light.  You don’t even want to participate in the darkness again.  There is no place you would rather be, than right here, with Your King.  You don’t want to leave.  But you know you must because there are others out there, beyond this room, who have no idea what this feels like.  They don’t know there is a King like this, who loves them with a love that has no boundaries.  He has done the impossible for you, because you stand in His presence.  They need to know they can too.  You know His name and now you know He calls you by yours.  You know Him and He knows you. 

Stay in this place.  Stay focused on this image and experience.  Take a break and come back to reading when you are ready.

 

Peace Like a River

Let go my soul and trust in Him.
The waves and wind still know His name.
So, let go my soul and trust in Him.
The waves and wind still know His name.

It is well with my soul.

Lots of contentiousness in this part of the neighborhood right now.  I'm not exactly sure where it's coming from.  Could be the super moon, that time of the summer (2 weeks from today school starts), just general stage of life of the girls, or even something more sinister; but there is a ton of snipping and backbiting.  Because I don't want to be constantly frustrated with 2 kids who are constantly frustrated, I called in the Big Gun.

I talked to my prayer group leader - my mentor and dearest heart friend - Janice (Heffer) Wright.  I asked for her prayers, but for her advice too.  It was good advice, reminding me how to help the girls learn to cope with their frustrations by sending them off, not in time out, but in the words of her great-granddaughter, "a little time to myself."

As I brought the idea up, I remembered we used to do this.  After Sophia was in treatment, she was dealing with a lot anger and we were seeing a therapist.  She suggested I put together some boxes with various activities and place them somewhere both girls could go, to just get away (separately from each other).  It really, really, really helped.  The girls remembered this too and were very gung-ho about putting this back into rotation.

We are calling this upgraded version - 3 years later - BYT with your BYB (By Yourself Time with your By Yourself Box.)  The girls already got their boxes together and placed them in quiet spots; although I dare say Ella will find them, so I'll be in charge of managing that source of frustration in the tiny package called Littlest Sister.

The sinister source is definitely some minion of the enemy trying to get under my skin - to disrupt the purpose and calling recently revealed to our family.  He's working overtime to push me, get me irritated and it's been working a little bit, I hate to say.  My kids fighting disturbs my peace, even though it rarely, if ever, has anything to do with me.  (Ms. Janice also reminded me of this).

After baths, just before bedtime, Natalie and I were talking and I said something I know had to come straight as a heavenly download.  I told her,

Peace is our natural state.  When we are bothered by something, it means we need to seek Our Heavenly Father, to spend time with Him and He will restore us back to the way we are meant to be - at peace in His Son.

Whoa.  That's seriously deep, so I know I didn't come up with it on my own.  That happens a lot when I'm trying to make sense of how to live this faith out - and then trying to explain it to my girls.  It usually has more meaning and major implications for me over them in the moment. (I'm sure there's something about not being able to teach/preach until you've lived it.....)

Jesus, rather famously, talked about the kind of peace He gives us, which the Apostle John recorded, found in 14:27,

I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid. (NLT)

This seems and sounds so impossible. "Don't be troubled!"  "Don't be afraid!"  That's ludicrous!  In the eyes of the world, it truly is.  We spend all of our time chasing rest and peace, we've invented new ways to "get it" in all forms, though most are grounded in the physical, or emotional.  How many of us, especially in First World America, can say we really exist at peace? It's momentary and fleeting, the most sought after but the least achieved "state of being."

It wasn't until just a few moments ago I could even begin to imagine it was even possible to be permanently at peace.  And yet, there Jesus is, telling me I can have peace, not just once, but all the time.  

Friends, peace is the gift of grace, given to us so freely, and also paid so dearly for.  It took Jesus' agonizing death to purchase it and His rising from the dead to prove it was available to any and all who will open their hands and take it from Him.  It's a spiritual thing - to abide, to relax and let Jesus handle it.  

We can't buy it, find it, feel it or experience it in any permanence outside of Christ.

Yet, what's hardest is living in (and with) the fact that our only work is this: to open our hearts, minds and hands to what the Lord, in Christ, offers.  That's what we have to do, daily/hourly/minute by minute if that is what it takes.  We have to be open to Him, for Him to work and wait to join Him in it.  

It is because of who is He that this is possible.  Peace can be had every.single.time. our feathers (or more) get ruffled; in any trial, tribulation or test.  Lysa TerKeurst calls feelings indicators and I think that's right.  How we feel about something (or someone) indicates how far from our normal/natural state of being as Christians, which is wholeness, of rest, or peace (shalom in Hebrew, a word that encompasses all those meaning and more).  

The enemy of our souls likes nothing better than to work us over, make us feel bad.  He LOVES strife, you could say chaos it is his bread and butter.

Yet, Jesus gave *me and you* peace as part of the down payment when we accepted Him as Lord and Savior.  The Holy Spirit exists in you as much as you are willing to let Him, to fill you with love, joy, peace (and the rest of the list from Galatians 5:22-23.  There's a song about it.)  It is now normal and natural for you to be at rest and at peace.

I know, it's a bit of stretch to think this way.  But faith in Christ is constantly stretching my thinking.  My identity is not in ME anymore - it hasn't been for over a decade.  My identity, no matter how I feel, exists in Christ - in my Father in Heaven and all He gives.  Do you believe that?  Is God what defines you or does something else?

Anything else will eventually leave you broken, not whole.  Anything else but Christ as your foundation will only lead to disruption, or worse, destruction.  There is no peace without surrendering each and every piece and part, as they surface, to Christ.  We have to let go and trust in Him.  

When we do - whatever is disrupting our peace - goes into His Hands (which are more than capable of handling it).  We get, in return, a fresh influx of peace, the gift that keeps on giving.  

Think of it this way: A spirit at rest in Christ stays at rest, no matter what seeks to disturb it.  (Amy's First Law of Spiritual Thermodynamics).

That's how Horatio Spafford could author such a timeless and poignant song - It is Well.  Did you know he wrote that following losing 4 daughters and his wife to a shipwreck, on their way to join him in the mission to colonize Israel at the turn of the 20th century?

Only a man who knew his true state, at peace in His Savior, could write like that.  

The next time, which could be the very next minute, something comes along to get under your skin, remember what Jesus has already given you - His peace.  It won't be like what you are used to, in this world.  The only hard work required is to lift all those burdens and set them down at the foot of the Cross.  

His peace passes understanding and is more than enough.  All you have to do is turn to Him and open your hands, to receive - again.

(For more information about the first part of the song, from Bethel Music, watch the video below.)

Sought. Found. Redefined in Christ.

Zacchaeus was a wee little man and a wee little man was he....

I've been on hiatus; summer time doesn't lend itself to a whole lotta focused writing time, but I have been writing.  I'm plugging away at the first book in my series on Matthew 22:37-40, Life of Grace.  Pray for me, I'd like to have a manuscript in order by New Year's......

Yesterday, I went to the beginning of book study at church.  The book is called How Is It With Your Soul?  It's based on Wesleyan class meetings, what we would today call community groups.  These gatherings were the heart of Methodist teachings - the catalyst of the movement (that became a whole denomination).  That question was meant to set the tone - so the members of the "class" could be real in their support and encouragement of one another.

Each table explored this question.  My soul was in a very good place.  I shared that we'd just come from Sophia's eye check up, part of her post-treatment follow up.  She continues to have no effects on her eye, especially from the radiation (minus a little cataract in the corner, which isn't messing with anything).  She has 20/20 vision in both eyes!  Praise God!

Then, the leader of the lesson took us through  Luke 19:1-10.  You might have guessed it was the story of Zaccheaus' seeking of Jesus, by my little ditty at the beginning.  (I know you are singing the rest, maybe even doing the hand motions.)  To the right is a great visual that describes the story from Brian Chalmers.

As we dug in, I was struck with new truth.  Zaccheaus was the chief tax collector.  Not just a regular sinner (and a traitor in the eyes of the community at large.  As a result, he was excluded from the Temple.)  No, he was the chief of traitors/sinners.  We also know Zacchaeus was a short man.  But I wonder if he was a little person?  If he was born a dwarf, would that confirm his sinful nature?  (See John 9 for details on the cultural inference of sin as the cause of infirmity or abnormality). 

I pondered the level of insecurity Zacchaeus must have had.  He was a Jew, but kept from the community by chance, and also choice.  Physically speaking, he was the low man on the totem pole, so he tried to made up for it with money, position and power.  Still, he'd reached a point when nothing would satisfy.  What kind of state of mind, what level of desperation had he reached that provoked him, a very rich and powerful man who spent his whole life trying to make up for his short-comings (pun intended), to climb a tree to get a glimpse of Jesus?

Zacchaeus was seeking hard after God.  His current life was no longer enough. 

It is significant Zacchaeus didn't approach Christ.  Jesus took a detour to come to him. Jesus was just passing through Jericho, but this little man was on His spiritual radar.  He humbled himself.  He didn't try to buy his way into Jesus' presence, he climbed a tree.

He had a hunger that could no longer be satisfied by things of earth.  He was desperate.  Not desperate enough to come to Jesus directly, but that's no matter to the Lord.  Jesus desires to find us where we are, however good or bad, because He isn't going to leave us that way.  Zaachaeus might have thought he was seeking Jesus, but most assuredly, the Savoir was seeking him.

As we constantly see Jesus do (in Scripture and today), He changed Zacchaeus' heart and circumstance.  He comes to the base of that tree and orders Zacchaeus to come down, He is under a new master now.  It was time for a party!  Total reversal of fortune and I think Zacchaeus knew it.

So, now, of course, the haters try to rain on the parade.  (They always do.)

Here the mettle of our new man Z is revealed.  He declares he will not only give half of his possessions to the poor; to anyone he's cheated, he will pay back four times.  That is WAY above and beyond what the Law in Leviticus called for.  WAY MORE.  Contrasting this with the story of the Rich Young Ruler who went away depressed because he couldn't give up his wealth for a new identity as a disciple of Jesus; Zacchaeus makes a bold statement and puts his money where his mouth was. 

Jesus recognizes the faith and love of this man.  I think that is what truly motivated Zacchaeus - love for the Savior.  Love makes us do crazy things.  Giving away half of all we own, repaying all of our physical, emotional and spiritual debts four-times-over definitely qualifies as nuts.  Jesus restores Zacchaeus' relationship with God (even if nothing changed with his fellow Jews) and our man Z makes good on it.  

(I speculate Zacchaeus made a huge difference in the early Church.  He isn't mentioned again in Scripture, but I hope he was one of the hundred in the Upper Room; one of the ones Jesus breathed His Spirit on after His resurrection.  I imagine his wealth would have gone a long way to support all that happened in Acts.  I wish I knew that for sure.)

The heart of this passage is this: if you currently live in the identity of your insecurities, Christ can and will redefine you.  It is His speciality, what He came to do, what He still loves to do today.  He is redeeming, restoring, renewing lives that should be left on the trash heap.  Yet, in the hands of Christ, those same lives are made new; to glorify and show others the right, best way.

Zacchaeus went from being a wee little man, seeking glory of the world, to heart-soul-mind-and-money dedicated to the Kingdom of God.  That's remarkable salvation; putting away eternal treasure. That's what redemption looks like.

That's what Jesus can do for all of us too.

I pray we all reach a moment like Zacchaeus.  I pray we are all so desperate for Jesus to redefine us, that we seek Him.  Scripture promises when we seek Him, we will find Him.  I pray we all end up like Zacchaeus - once a wee little man but used to bless others because of our trust, faith and love of Christ.

The Principle of Being a Princess (or It's All About Love Really)

We watch a lot of Disney movies.  In a house of three girls, I'm sure that's a shocking revelation.  We used to be all princesses, all the time, but Sophia grew out of it.  Actually, I think post-treatment, when her struggle became synonymous with her love of princesses, she got self-conscious.

I guess I can't blame her, it is on the back of the t-shirts bearing her Team name.

Anyway.....back to the present tense.  Princesses are making a come back.  Why?  Well, Little Bit of course.  Not that we really truly left them behind; we own a copy of all of the Disney princess movies, except for Princess and the Frog.  (Not sure why we don't have that one.)  But the early princess movies are shorter - which makes them ideal for little bitties, like Ella Grace, to watch.

Ok, she doesn't really watch them yet.  She dances to the opening and closing music, then wanders off to do her thing: make the house as messy as she possibly can, at her short stature.  Occasionally, she will wander back in, sit on one of her sister's laps for a minute, then go back to her mess-making business.

Yesterday morning, I put on Sleeping Beauty.  I tell you what, that is a princess life I can get behind.  Beauty, can sing, pretty clever ("I am sixteen after all!") AND you get to sleep for a hundred years.  In case you didn't know, I love to sleep.  Since having children and growing older, however, I don't sleep as much or as well as I used to.  I still love it.  It's my besetting sin.  Truly.

After Sleeping (which-I-wish-I-was), I put on Cinderella.  Most days, I feel more like this lady; lots of cleaning and other menial servitude, but I do get a whole lot more thanks, even if I get less fairy godmother action.

During the mini-princess-film-fest, something struck me.  What these gals are singing about, what they want more than anything in the world, is to be loved.  They want to be rescued, sure, but more than that, they want to be found and to be known.  They want to be valued above all else - to feel worthy and worth the effort.  They want true love.

Before you say, "Well, duh!," let it sink in.  As I sat there, on Sunday morning before church, it hit me: that's why I'm in the relationships I am in (including a relationship with Christ).  Love is why I got married and had kids.  It is also why I get mad or isolate myself from people in my house sometimes - because when the situation starts to feel "unloving," I might leave the room or lash out.  Strike first to save myself any real pain.  (That's a big crock, by the way.  Strike first doesn't work for governments or for stay-at-home-Moms.)

And now, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella?  Those ladies are showing me what it means to be vulnerable - hearts on the outside of the chests.  They are singing, dancing, not even remotely afraid they will never find love.  In fact, they are so irritating sure they will be loved, they sing and dance with birds of prey and rodents.

I find myself wanting to be that be vulnerable but I want it without all the strings attached.  Without all the heartache that does comes from being loved by another human.  Because it does come with heartache. Humans don't do anything perfectly for an extended period of time.  I can't even make the same meal, the same way twice.  (Ask Dave, he will confirm.)

At the root of all hesitation, at the bottom of all of us, is fear.  We are afraid to fully let go because we are afraid of the imperfections.  This applies to human relationships, but I know it creeps into my relationship with the Lord.  I find myself often having to remember the Lord doesn't think or act like I do.  He doesn't respond to me the way others will.  When I come to Him, what I get is purity and truth, not watered down affection.  

Jesus loves like He is not scared.

In Scripture we see Jesus loving, getting hurt (to the point of agonizing death), knowing it is better this way.  The Father, too, loves us so much, He sent His Son to be rejected, watching Him pay the ultimate price, still knowing it was better this way.  Then, after all that, The Holy Spirit came to live in and with us, knowing we would grieve Him to no end, but still knowing it is better this way.

This is true, pure love.  The Apostle John, in his first letter to the early churches, describes what this pure, true love does,

There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. (1 John 4:18, HCSB)

It's humbling to read that verse.  It's humbling to know those animated girls with their tiny feet and angelic voices have something I don't have: the ability to receive perfect love.  I have not reached perfection in love because I still have fear I'm going to get hurt if I love.  I'd really like to love like I'm not scared.

So, I go back to square one: I rest in the Lord.  I meet with the King and I read His Word.  I look for what He had to say about my imperfections.  And I dwell on the fact that His perfection trumps everything else.  His love has already come to completion and it takes very little, if any, effort of my own, to tap into that power.  Indeed, some days all I have to do (or have time for) is to say the name of Jesus.

That name bears the standard of true love.  That name is the One that saves.  That name removes fear.  That name gives me the power to be all He called me to be, before the beginning of the world.  That name marks me as royalty - as His princess and bride.

The principle of being a princess is receiving love from the King.  Lord, make me more able to do that, more able to receive Your truth, Your Love, Your Goodness - without hesitation or reservation.  I want to love You, myself and others like I'm not scared.

And in Your love, I won't be scared anymore and I can love like You do.

A Different Perspective on Troubles, Trials and Suffering

It is for my good that I have been humbled; it was so that I would learn your laws.

That's from Psalm 119:71.  I've been reading through that Psalm recently.  It's good meat for spiritual bones.  I "happened" (in quotes because nothing in the life of a follower of Christ just happens) to read it following the last chapter in a book I've been trying to get through for a few years called The Elijah Task: A Call to Today's Prophets and Intercessors.

For the last 2 months or so, I've had a line running through my head.  It is a little graphic, so I will warn you.  The image I got when I received this wisdom was from one of those cycles where every week someone seemed to be sick with something.  As a result, I had throw-up on my mind.  (Sorry, like I said, it's a little graphic).  Such is the life of a Mom, we think about these things, mostly in an effort to either prevent or avoid having to clean it up at all costs.

But the nature of a lot of intestinal distress is because our bodies are trying to get rid of what is making us sick. It's not pretty and is also quite humbling, but our bodies have to get rid of the foreign contaminant.  With all this in mind, this idea was given to me:

If it's going to come out, it has to come up.

I began to think about the trouble we experience as a family, which is often self-created but sometimes a result of living in a fallen world.  It feels a lot like being sick with the stomach flu.  Our natural desire is to do everything in our power to stop, placate, comfort, resolve whatever distressing situation we are in because we want it to just go away.  We just want to feel better.

Nothing wrong with that, unless you consider what is happening inside of you, that is coming up, really needs to come out because it's making you sick.  This very much has spiritual implications.

Working hard to feel better doesn't solve the underlying issue.  We need to admit we are sick and we need to REST.  If all we want all the time is to feel good, we never get healing.  We are only slapping a band-aid on a festering wound.

When Sophia was in treatment, I drank a lot.  I still got up and functioned.  Because of my stress level, my body was burning it off.  But this was not the best choice.  This was not even a remotely healthy choice.  It was a coping mechanism of comfort and it was only when I came to terms with that, I began to heal. 

This idea, of letting things run their course - even if it causes me discomfort (if that is what is required to truly be free of spiritual, mental, emotional AND physical bondage) is probably not popular.  Yet, any bondage I am in must be faced head on if I am to live...and live abundantly in Christ.

Like the Demon-Possessed Man of Mark 5, who was so full of sickness, darkness and junk, we are all in bondage to something.  We are all walking among the tombs of our lives (graves of the past and present tense).  That is, until Jesus comes to us.  That is, until we meet Christ.

{Side note: he is the first person - well, really the demons were the first - to ask for mercy from Jesus.  They don't use that word, but they do ask Him not to give them the treatment they deserve.  And Jesus grants it.  Instead of sending them to hell where they belong, He sends them into a herd of pigs.  (Which doesn't end well either, but probably better than hell I'm guessing.)}

Unless confronted by Christ, that man would have stayed devil-ridden for the rest of his life.  His body would have eventually worn down but he would have stayed in darkness.  It wasn't until those demons were forced to the surface by Jesus' presence, that they came out.  Simply said, They had to come up to come out.

You might be in a hard place right now, by your own making or otherwise.  I do understand you want to just be done with it.  I know hardship and I don't like pain or suffering, but if you are a Christian, we are supposed to be asking the Lord what He is trying to teach us in these lean times.  We are not called to just endure or "suffer well," we are called to be free in Christ, grateful & content regardless of our circumstances.

He is the source of our comfort, our hope.  Not what is going on or how we feel; but Christ We can thank Him for what He is doing in our lives, because our hope is He is going to make good of it.

He is training us, preparing us for the future (good) work we will do for His Kingdom.  The trouble we are in is to teach us complete dependence and maturity in faith.  It is to show us what we are really like behind the masks we choose to put on, so we can finally start to live authentic, grace-filled lives. 

Darkness has to come up and out if the light is to completely fill us.

John Sanford, the author of the book I mentioned earlier, says this about troubles, trials and suffering,

The increase of evil all about us may well be the result of the Holy Spirit at work in the deep mind of mankind, bringing to surface what is really there...Satan's delusions have honeycombed the mind and heart of all mankind and painted white-wash over all.  God knows our hearts are wicked (Matt 15:19).  He knew it all along.  He only wants us to see it, admit it, and be made whole.  Therefore tribulation comes, for though woes are not God's first will, He must send them if men would be made whole. (emphasis mine, pg. 223)

Sanford also goes on to say, it is not that evil is getting worse.  We see the forces of darkness more today because the Holy Spirit is more heavily at work in His saints to prepare them for His purposes.  What a refreshing way to look at what we are facing!

It's not that satan is getting more powerful, people!  The presence of Christ is growing stronger in the world, through the intercession of believers, and the devil can't abide in the presence of Christ.

Some may experience miracles and wonders but others only suffer humiliation.  We can't know what our path is, we can only trust He is leading us in the right direction.  We can trust Our Heavenly Father, in the revelation of His Son and through the power of His Spirit to turn all these present struggles into future glory for Him and good for us.

Maybe you are the one enduring struggle as a result of someone else's internal mess.  You can also trust that what you are seeing is meant to come out.  The Lord is using these current troubles to show you something He wants either out of your life, or theirs.  He wants to show you His power to make a beter way.

There is something that needs to come out, so these troubles are bringing it up.  Then, in His goodness and mercy, He will plant the seed of righteousness and faith that will produce a crop of fruit that pleases Him and satisfies many.

Trust Him to do what is needed, to bring up what needs to come out.  Have patience with yourself and those folks in your life and keep praying.  You will see the fruit of your prayers in them, I promise.

No, even better, God promises!  Let those promises be revealed in your heart, mind and life.

Who Am I?

The mercy we are offered in Jesus Christ brings forgiveness.  But it is more than that; it is also an offer that transforms our very identity - we are invited into the family of God as adopted children.  Christians call that identity-level change transformation.

This quote is from the book The Shame Exchange: Trading Shame for God's Mercy and Freedom, as quote in the book The Mercy Prayer by Robert Gelinas.  It goes right along with my post, this post has been marinating in my heart for a few weeks; maybe all my life.  Pretty sure it will go in a book in extended form.

Nearly 5 years ago, I wrote an article on coming to a point in our lives of faith when we have to definitively declare who Jesus is.  (Read it here.)  If we are ever to move, one way or the other, we must settle this issue.  That's sort of a theme of my first book, relating to God in love and understanding what that means to live it out. 

Now, I think it is time to take another step.  I need to declare, definitively, who I am.  It is part of this realization of my freedom in Christ, how to live in His love and relate to myself.  That's the second book - the forgotten part of Matthew 22:37-39 - love your neighbor as yourself.  

You can't really love anyone else, including the Lord, if you don't love, like or at least come to terms with yourself.

(The third book is growing in a life of love for others.  Maybe that was obvious.)

I still struggle with stuff that should have been kicked to the curb YEARS ago.  I still have trouble accepting compliments.  I still look in the mirror and (generally) only see things that are wrong.  My husband has a habit of telling me how pretty I am when I can look in the mirror and see he probably needs glasses, or lasik or new eyes.

But I had a radical thought the other day.  He told me how pretty I looked on an evening of a day when I hadn't showered (and I don't think I'd even brushed my teeth.)  I kind of chuckled, as usual, but hot on the heels was a quiet whisper,

What if he's right?  What if you really are pretty?  WHAT IF YOU BELIEVED HIM?

What the?!?!?!

It's a dangerous question.  It is almost a subversive thought for a good Christian woman to focus on what's right with herself, instead of what is wrong.  Self-effacement, even self-degradation, has long been required by the most pious among us.  But that's a form of oppression and slavery the Cross is meant to bury forever.

We were never meant to be vain.  But on the flip side, disliking, even hating ourselves is NOT humility and it denies everything Christ said and did in His life here Earth.

Humility is knowing who you are and using those gifts for the glory of God and the good of other people.  It is understanding that in order to have the most abundant life, your permanent position is on your knees, to pray, to serve, to comfort, to give.

When we think, speak and act from a place of negative self-image, we are saying God and His creation are not good.  That's in complete violation of what God, Himself says, about us.  And He doesn't just say we are good, He says we are VERY GOOD.  

Check Genesis 1:31 in case you want to argue with me.

Still, I do what everyone else does.  I've let people (and the mirror) tell me who I should be.  I've let my own twisted thought patterns determine how I see myself.  I've let my mistakes, my troubles, my cravings, my desires and my victories determine who I am.  There is a lot of "Me," in there.

Here is a short list of things I came up with that have defined who I am over the years:

• Who my parents are; 
• How and where I was raised; 
• What church and school I went to; 
• Who I was or was not in a relationship with; 
• How my children behaved; 
• How many children I have (and what gender they are);
• How much money I had (or didn't have); 
• How hard I could work; 
• How smart I was;
• Who I work with;
• What time of day I did things;
• What I weighed; 
• How far I could run;
• How fast I could swim;
• How much I could do each day;
• How much I could give;
• Who I voted for;
• What medicines I took;
• Who hurt me and how they did it;
• What I owned (or didn't) and how much debt I incurred (or didn't) to get it;

Like I said, it's a short list; just a few, general points of references for who I am, or who others would say I am.  And these things aren't really bad if taken as that: a point of reference.

But they are not who I am.

Nothing, absolutely nothing and no one, I've come to realize (lately) should determine who I am.  There is only one acceptable definition.  It is not WHO I am, but WHOSE I am.

You see, I am a creature.  It is only my Creator who can really say who or what I am.  He is the only one who really knows why I was made and what I can do, as much as I like to think I know better.  As much as I like to think I can add on, like I can make His perfect creation more perfect.

But friends, that just isn't the case.  I don't know myself as well as He does.

My identity, as a Christian, should only and ever come from my Lord.  Anything else is idolatry - putting another creation in front of Him, on His rightful place.  Call it filling the God-shaped hole, putting Him on the throne, or whatever; the benefits are only and ever fleeting when I let anyone/thing but my Father in Heaven determine my identity and self-worth.

What God, in the Person of Jesus Christ by the power of His Holy Spirit, has done, the worth He has given me as a result of His life, death and resurrection is the only thing that matters.  Everything I think, say and do needs to come from that place of wholeness in knowing Him, or it's chaff pretending to look like wheat.

And it is whole.  I mean, I am whole.  What was once broken is now fixed, for the better.  I can ask the what if questions, the big questions and let Him answer them.  I don't have to come up with a fix or solution myself.  I don't have much understanding, so I don't trust in it.  I trust Him.

I trust in Him.  I trust in what He has done.  I trust in Who He is.

Because in Him, I am the best me I will be until I am fully present with Him.  In Christ, this side of glory, He is making me who I really am.  I can love myself, even enjoy the woman in the mirror because His truth has set me free, indeed.  More than His truth, His love has given me more than I ever dreamed of.  He knows who I am and I am enjoying getting to know her.

Do you know who you are?

What Won't God Do for You?

As I sat overhearing a conversation this morning, my heart started to sink.  A woman I know was talking about her struggles.  She was relating what had helped her, but her tone of voice betrayed that maybe she wasn't helped all that much.  She sounded not just down but....defeated.

I know this woman knows the Lord.  I know she goes to Bible Study, reads devotionals and goes to church.  Yet, for all the spirituality, there was no victory in her life.  We all have down days, myself included.  But this is not the first time I've heard this line of talk from her.

 It is not the first time a saint thought themselves to be a loser in the fight of life.

I really wanted to tell this woman what I know.  I wanted her to listen, I mean really listen to the stories of victory I carry in my heart.  But more than that, more than her time, attention or acknowledgment of the truth, I wanted her to trust in the Person behind the Cross she wears around her neck.  Why don't we let the Lord fight for the victory in our lives that the Cross won?

Because we want a piece of it.  We want to claim some of the glorious result - even just a little.  I know this to be true of myself for certain.  I'm in a constant struggle with my pride.  I have to constantly nail it to the Cross, again and again, along with everything else in my heart and mind that trips me up so I can't keep running the good race of faith.

We engage ourselves in conversations, experiences, relationships - and worst of all - thought processes that deem us to be losers.  We position ourselves to lose because we think if we walk around like winners, we aren't going to be very good Christians.  And if we just did it for our own victory, to look good in our own strength, we wouldn't be very good Christians.

About a month ago, I was struggling with something.  I was worried about it.  As I prayed, this thought came to me,  

I didn't die so you could go through life the way you did before - worried, anxious and fearful.  And I certainly didn't rise again so you could continue to spin your wheels, trying to figure out how to make this abundant life work.

Call it a Divine 2x4 to the back of the head, but I needed to be grabbed by the scruff of my neck, shaken up and set a-right.  I was trying my best to have an abundant life, forgetting an abundant life in Christ is not to be grasped.  The Christian life was never about how much we could have or how busy we could be.

The Christian life is supposed to be about how much of God we can experience.

The antidote to this struggle, defeated, negative mindset?  Surrender.  It does not mean your circumstances will automatically change when we die to be buried with Christ. But we have to let our soul-ish tendencies to grasp, control and have life on our own terms stay in the grave.

When we do, we are changed.  He raises us up to rest and live in His victory that has been won for millennium.  The battle, friends, was never ours.  AND IT IS OVER.  The war and victory have been, and will always be the Lord's (2 Chron 20:15).  There is no weapon formed against us that will prosper if we let the Lord fight for us.  That comes from 2 different places in Scripture: Isaiah 54:17 and Romans 9:33. 

And you know that if the Lord says something in the Old and New Testament, we better take it dead seriously.

Your Heavenly Father is a Warrior.  He longs to fight for you.  He longs to save His children over and over and over again because He knows what we won't admit: We can't save ourselves.

We can claim victory all we want, but unless we put everything up on the altar, to be sacrificed to Him: our time, feelings, jobs, family, spouses, friends, parents, siblings, finances, looks, affiliations (you get the point), He will only have so much room to win. The more room we give Him, the more victory we are assured.

What won't the God of Heaven and Earth, Who created and sustains it; Who gave His One and Only Begotten Son to die for your sins.....do for you? 

He has already done so much, can't you let Him do a little more?

Can you believe in His power to overcome your illness?

Can you believe His love is more powerful then the mirror?

Can you believe His grace will redeem your complicated life?

Can you believe anything and everything is possible with Him?

My goal is not to scold you.  It is a wake up call to all missing out in the Church, when you try and solve your own problems.  I don't know the details of your life but I do know that God does.  He knows them far more intimately then you do.  And He can use anything for your good.  You just have to let Him!

Stop your fighting. Be Still.  Step aside.  Bow down. Fall to your knees.  Get on your face. 

I heard Beth Moore say this years ago, but it is truth, "In God's economy, the way up is down."  Get into a position of submission and stay there.  Challenge the Lord to help you, beg Him for mercy.  Then believe He will respond (James 1:6).  Don't pick up your huge sack of burdens again.  It doesn't matter how big or little they are, they will always be too heavy for you to carry.

All of what I'm saying is right there in His Word.  Read it for yourself, or better yet, consume it.  Absorb it into your thinking and it will change in you in the middle of whatever crazy, complicated situation you are in.  You will not have to try and produce fruit, which only ends up being plastic anyway.

The fruit you will produce, when you rest in Him, trusting Him to make a way where there is no way, will be delicious.  It will be the sweetest.  It will feed those around you.  He will do it.  He is the God of infinitely creative provision.  He will part the Sea even when you are neck deep in the water.

His Word is right there for you, telling you what to do and how to do it. 

Stay there, be still and take Him at His Word.  Keep an eye out for His rescue.  It will rise with the dawn with healing for your soul on it's wings (Isaiah 58:8).  His mercies are new every morning.....and it is always morning somewhere.*




(Gloria Furman, When Your Hands are Full)

God is Not Quicken Loans, Or is He?

Dad, Can you fix anything?

Well, I think so.

Dad............can you fix me a coke?

This is a 30 year old conversation with my father.  Way back in the day, I was this transparent.  I asked my Dad for things that seemed silly but at the time, were important.  I wanted that coke right then and I wasn't ashamed to ask my Dad for it.  We still laugh about it fondly.

I'm struggling right now with being that transparent in prayer.

My kids ask me for things constantly.  Even Ella G., the baby, knows how to ask for things when she wants them - she has her own words (already) for milk, food, etc.  When my kids ask me for things, they don't mean later.  They mean right now.  This includes meals/snacks but also when are we getting a dog and going to Hawaii.  I used to think it was because they didn't grasp the concept of timing and they were hard-wired for instant gratification.

Sure, that's some of it.  Learning to wait for gratification is an important skill we must learn because we all know, timing is everything.  Good things come to those who wait, after all, so we can grow into adults not crippled with constant disappointment.  Yet, we let it take over and get comfortable in that mindset, even when it comes to Faith.

We are born with the desire for everything now.  Not later.  In some cases, that is beaten out of us so we can survive.  We don't always want the best thing - sometimes we want the easy thing, or the good tasting thing, or the thing that will make us feel better in the moment.

However, we dismiss the fact that as a followers of Christ, our desires are redeemed.  We are not bound in terms of always wanting something fleshly.  When we want things of God made manifest, we can trust our inclinations and wants.  We can ask for things now because the Spirit is in control. Let me say it clearly - we don't have to wait for the Kingdom to Come. 

But we do and we fall back on verses like Isaiah 40:31, which say, Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.

I looked up that word wait because it bugs me.  It's the Hebrew word kava (pronounced like it sounds, thankfully).  It means more than just to hold off on instant gratification.  Synonyms include: to look for, hope, expect, to look eagerly for, to collect or bind together.

It carries the connotation that God will act sooner rather than later.  But we use this verse as the reasoning behind the way we stave off disappointment when we don't see Him act.  We articulate the thought that waiting is good, it builds character - and it does.  In the Church, we should encourage character building.  We should endeavor to show our culture instant gratification isn't always the answer.  We must teach people God has His ways and His timing.  We try and help people understand, to echo a current TV commercial,

Who do you think God is, Quicken Loans?

(Quicken Loans is apparently known for their ability to meet financial needs now, not later.)

That doesn't mean, though, it is never the answer, especially when it is a cop-out for His mystery.  When it comes to forgiveness, mercy, deliverance, healing and salvation, we shouldn't be meek.  We need to be bold!  I know God is not at our beck and call but Jesus, the Apostle John AND the Apostle James tell us to ASK for the glory to be made flesh because it will be granted.

Not in eternity, but here - in this life.  RIGHT NOW.

Waiting patiently is good, but expecting a miracle is also the mark of a mature Christian.  Correct me if I'm wrong.  Please.  I don't want to sense this hesitancy in my brothers and sisters.  I don't think my God is a God who wants to wait.

When God wants to move, He does.  When He wants to create light out of darkness, He does.  When He wants to save the souls of mankind, He does.  When He wants to send His Spirit on the Earth to empower His people, He does!  I know His timing isn't mine and some of my requests are bound up in my flesh, but when I'm asking for His glory to shine in my life, why do I need to wait?

God works in time because we are temporal beings and we might not always be ready for all His answers when we ask for them.  But I want to submit this idea to you:

But maybe we don't ask Him to act right now because we are afraid He will answer right now.

I'm not wrapping this post up neat and tidy because I'm wrestling with it.  I hope you will ponder with me because I think if God's Church started praying with the belief He will act sooner rather than later, we would see amazing things happen - Book of Acts, Great Awakening kind of things.

Think about it.  Leave a comment.  Discuss amongst yourselves.  But better than that, pray.  Ask God where He wants to move in your life right now.  Ask God where He doesn't want you to wait any longer and go with it.  Ask Him to show you what is possible for those that believe.

Breakthrough, Part 2 or Wide-Open Spaces

One of my favorite songs as a single, young woman was "Wide Open Spaces" by the Dixie Chicks.  I love that group and personally think their politics shouldn't have brought them to a halt, because if all loud-mouths lost their careers, I'd be in big trouble.  But I digress. 

I discovered last year I still love the Dixie Chicks, even as an older, married Mom.  I often had them playing while I was cooking dinner in Italy.  (Here, we have English-speaking TV, so I'm back to watching the news or the Food Network).

That song meant so much to me because it was my life at the time.  I had lots of room, to run, to learn, to grow and especially, as Natalie Maines croons in the song,

Room to make a big mistake.

Mistakes are encouraged, or they should be, when you are young.  I remembered that last week when I was on the phone with a sweet young woman whose life I'm in awe of because she is remarkable in her faith.  She is at that point in her life - she can afford big mistakes.  She can grow and learn unfettered by responsibility and expectations.  Or so I told her because from my perspective, while I still have much to learn and some room to grow, my life has a center and she is in pursuit of hers.

What a WONDERFUL place to be in!!

I will admit, I'm a little envious.  I like to live vicariously through her because having a center means that, in many joyful ways, I am tied down.  I have a husband and kids who need me and that means I can't do what I want/when I want (at least all the time.)  I'd like to think I'm them-focused rather than me-focused.  Both seasons are good, unless you go off the edge of the cliff and pay no attention to how that affects others.

That's why, when God puts us in a wide-open space, we need to take advantage of it.  When He puts us in a season where anything is possible, where circumstances are consistently moving us out of our comfort zones, further and further away from what is comfortable or our innate abilities, we need to recognize we are there to learn.

And to make mistakes.

I was reading in Genesis the other day, fast-becoming one of my favorite books of the Bible.  Chock-full it is.  I have given up my Bible-in-a-year goal, after 5 failed attempts, and am now trying to read it in 90 days, from The Message translation.  It is both my Lenten-preparation and sacrifice as it will carry me through Easter.  Here's hoping I make it through, but again, I digress.

I came across something I'd never noticed before in Isaac's story.  You can find it in Genesis 26:19-25.  Isaac is in the middle of some business/financial disputes (as water was the currency back then) with his Canaanite neighbors; they were threatened by his enormous success.

(Success is a good thing - sometimes the Lord takes us by way of the clouds, not just the mud).

Well, Isaac is being forced farther and farther out.  He and his guys keep digging wells and losing them.  Finally, they come to Rehoboth or Rechovot in Hebrew.  I looked it up to make sure Eugene Peterson's translated meaning of that name was, well, kosher - and yep, he was right.  The English translated name of Rehoboth is:

WIDE OPEN SPACE

Verse 22 calls it like it is: 'Because now ADONAI has made room for us, and we will be productive in the land.'

Right after reaching this wide-open space, God appeared to Isaac in person.  The Lord re-iterates the promise He made to Isaac's father Abraham, to bless him and grow him into a great nation.  I don't want you to miss the significance of this encounter, so I'm going to risk repeating myself.

It was only when Isaac was forced out of his comfortable place, when he was pushed out away from what he knew that he found the blessing and presence of the Lord.  He became productive when He moved into the space God had for him to fill.

God can enter your circumstances at any time and place, nothing holds Him back.  But there is something about hardship, about challenge that forces us to stop relying on ourselves and be open for an encounter with Him.  I wrote last week about breakthroughs, not breaking points, and this is along the same vein - we get pushed and prodded and uncomfortable (maybe even desperate) - THEN WE DISCOVER GOD (AND HIS BLESSINGS) ALREADY THERE.

He isn't punishing us.  He is moving us.  He is getting us to a place where He has room to work with and teach us.  We will have room to make mistakes and grow.  He is breaking you through yourself to make more room for Himself.

I'll leave you with a picture I took up on a hill while we lived in Italy.  It is the cover photo on my Facebook page, but it is a perfect visual for this topic.  It was a beautiful day, with some spotty showers in the east towards our house.  Off in the distance, right there for the taking - was God's Promise displayed in a rainbow.  I had to capture the moment.

It is a striking reminder where you or someone you know might be.  There might be rain, but you also might be in the middle of some wide-open beautiful space.  Be open to the growth God is waiting to show you.  Mistakes are good - even encouraged because His grace covers so much!!  And you can depend on Him because His Promise is ready for the taking, and He never goes back on His Promises.

Jesus Would Have Been a Great Mom

At my church, our pastor is preaching a sermon series on defeating fear and walking on water.  Those two are definitely related.  Once you defeat fear, then you can walk on water.  But more on that later.

The text Christian, our pastor, is using comes from Matthew 14 - the dramatic scene of Peter getting out of the boat, walking to Jesus, focusing on the wind/waves, sinking, crying out, being saved and then walking back to the boat with Jesus.  It's an extremely powerful message delivered by a guy who is full of power.  My (older) kids are enjoying it as well.  They are 10 and 7, so that is really saying something when you are keeping their attention long enough to get the message!

Last night, Natalie and I read Matthew 14:30 in her Jesus Calling for Kids devotional, which is the verse where Peter sinks into the water.  We started talking (and laughing) about Christian's demonstration of what Jesus says to Peter.  He does it like this, if you can picture it: 

Oh (slap) ye (slap) of (slap) little (slap) faith (slap), why (slap) did (slap) you (slap) doubt (slap)? 

Hopefully you get the idea, because I think it is a very valid interpretation!  We all need to be mentally/emotionally/spiritual smacked occasionally to remind us Who is in charge.

Yet, the version I've had in my head is a little different.  I asked her if she wanted to see it, so I showed her this:

(Jesus grabs Peter's hand and pulls him into a bear hug.  Then he says into his ear,) Oh ye of little faith, why did you doubt?

After my demonstration in which I was Jesus and she was Peter, she said, "Yeah that seems more like a Mom way of doing it."

I laughed because she is right.  I have learned (the hard way) when my children are hurt or fearful, the reminder of my teaching goes down better when they are in my arms.  The comfort I give when they need it most drives home the point that I love them, but also I was right.

We have it on our Family Rules board: Hugs > Words.

As I read my own version of Jesus Calling this morning and fear/anxiety/worry was (once again) addressed, it hit me.  When I am scared and overwhelmed by life, I need a safe place to rest.  The comfort that comes from being wrapped in my Father's arms, even especially when I'm wrong, produces a greater level of trust.  That trust grows into assurance, which then produces confidence. 

When you have confidence in Christ, you will not doubt His ways and commands.  You will fear-less, or maybe not at all.  Defeating fear is necessary to walk in a victorious life of faith but it also leads to walking in power.  When you are confident in who you are and Who is caring for you, there is very little - if anything - that can stop you.

That leads to evangelism just by living.  It leads to a Jesus kind of life, where we set captives free to find their own purpose in Him.

My ministry, at the moment, by any account, is teeny-tiny.  Eternally important, but my main service is to the 4 people in my house.  I'm not worried about it, as I know if/when I'm faithful with them, the Lord will grow my territory.  At this stage of my life, my main job is to be a Mom.

(In fact, Sophia asked me yesterday when I was going to get a job and I told her I already had one - being a mother.....Not sure she was impressed.)

I have dreams beyond this house but the most important thing I could ever do is make sure these 3 smaller people know the Lord and are equipped to walk with Him when they fly the coop.  They need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit, all in for Christ because it is a dangerous world out there.

This is My Jesus-kind of life.  The funny thing is, Jesus is a much better Mom than I am.  When I rest in the comfort of His arms, opening up for Him to work, even when He has to remind me to have faith, He is changing me.  He is growing fruit and deepening the roots of love between us.  I am learning from Him and in the process He lifts my burdens, no matter how silly or serious they are.

From that assurance, I am empowered.  I don't fear what is coming because I am resting in Him.  My girls see that and I hope learn to do the same.

Jesus would have made the best Mom.  Instead, He is choosing to work His grace through me and make me a better one.  It is in those bear hugs of His Presence, in His Word and out on the waves, that it happens.  He empowers me to do great things, like raise 3 girls who love Him.

He whispers to me not to doubt, to trust, to love Him and He will never steer me or my family wrong. 

So, I do.  A little faith is all that is required.

Convinced, Part 2 - His Ability

Well over a year ago, I had the privilege of talking with a small group of wonderful ladies at Bear Creek United Methodist over dinner about how to be convinced of Jesus.  It was a message of power and there are three parts to it.  If you want to read the details, go here.

I've been coming back to this teaching recently and it being Advent drives it home further.  In the Scriptures from Matthew and Luke that reflect on Christ's birth, a couple of key people were convinced God finally entered humanity and gave us salvation through the baby in Mary's arms.  People who'd literally been waiting on a promise God gave them FOR YEARS, Simeon and Anna.  They knew God was able but they had to trust He was willing to show them the proof.  They stuck around and were rewarded with Jesus.

We believe in and celebrate Christ this time of year.  We worship Him, as the Savior who is good and gracious and saved us from sin.  Yet, sometimes we stop there.  I know it because I've walked around with doubt in my own heart, especially at Christmas.  I wondered what the point is, with all the commercialization.  I "scrooged up" when I saw tinsel and holly, doubtful even in this part of the year made for Christ, He still acts on behalf of His people.

It took a fresh infusion of His love a few months back for me to clear away the doubt; to live in full belief He is good all the time.  Not just when things are going well and prayer is so obviously answered.  I mean, walking around every minute of the day knowing in my heart AND head He is good.  With that goodness comes the realization of the fact that God is not only able to do all He promises but He is willing to do it....right here....right now.

That kind of revelation makes the universe shift on its axis.  When you become convinced the Lord of Creation is willing to do things for you, the planets line up.  Your internal (and external) eyes clear and when the situations that usually set you off down long, dark roads pop up, you grab them by the throat and say, "Wait a minute.  Not so fast, buddy."

It is only your perspective that changes at first, but soon your circumstances catch up because by believing right, you start acting right. Conviction sends ripples of truth into eternity that get bigger and bigger.  You walk carrying feeling the reality of the verse, "No weapon formed against me will prosper," in your hands.  You mean it, in a Dirty Harry kind of way, no matter how big the gun the enemy points in your face.

You feeling lucky, punk?

Confidence is not arrogance.  Godly confidence is the opposite: humility.  It comes from knowing the One True King, certain He will not only act for our best interests, but that He is already acting.

If you were convinced that Jesus is not only able, but WILLING to do all He did in the Scriptures for you, what would change?

I said it in last week's post "But God": bad stuff doesn't come from God.  It is a result of what happened in the Garden - from the disobedience of Adam and Eve and from the enemy trying to get back what he lost.  He can only do that if we are destroyed.  I view life that way because I know God to be perfectly good.  And if God is perfectly good, then bad absolutely doesn't come from Him.

Yes, God uses bad things to shape His people.  Yes, He allows discipline to occur.  (Notice I did not say punishment, condemnation or mockery).  Yes, He tests our faith, but only to bring up and out the garbage trapped in our wavering hearts.  It is only to cleanse and fill us with more of Himself.  You don't have to look too far back in your Bible to see that when God's people turn (back) to Him, He brings them out of their horrible circumstances.  Not instantaneously, but it does happen.

They had to do the work of believing and acting out of that conviction, even when it didn't makes sense.

I have not always been willing to do the work, but I am now.

Are you?  Are you ready to believe God is not only able but WILLING to bring about His promises, into your life....right now?

Leave your answer in the comments....

Going a Little Farther - Part 2 - In Title No Longer

I titled this series "Going a Little Farther" because sometimes we have to do that.  Comfort zone not required when we are trying to go in the direction of God.  If we don't check regularly, we might end up in a ditch or worse, in the same place we've always been.

Part 1 was to remind us who we are in Christ, which is easy to forget when we get in deep.  Mary Poppins had it right, it's a spoonful-of-sugar-helps-the-medicine-go-down thing, so the healing can get done. 

When we were living in Trinidad, I participated in the Psalms of Ascent study by Beth Moore.  That year was full of tons of spiritual checks and rechecks; the results still being felt.  One day, there was an exercise based on Psalm 130:3.  We had to sit quietly and think about what our lives would be like if we'd never accepted Christ; if we'd just kept going along the path towards death and destruction.

It was an agonizing process but at the same time, completely cathartic.  I needed to remember I wasn't just a "Christian" by title like I'd been for so long.  I wasn't paying lip service to God, like I did for years.  I was in an intimate, very personal relationship with Him and that brought hefty dividends of change for the better.  Jesus had made me into the real-deal-Holyfield.  Walking through what my life would have been like without God had me on my face.  I'm not saying my life was perfect, but that exercise stuck with me through some very dark days.

Faith is more than just acknowledging God exists or believing in Him for a get-out-of-hell-free card.  It's taking Him at His Word, trusting Him to do what only He can do.  It is a committment, a covenant!  The seriousness of it the same as my wedding vows.

We acknowledge God all the time but don't live like it (see pledge of allegiance).  Going from acknowledgment to belief is much more agreeing with Him.  Faith in Jesus makes all the (eternal) difference.  In Christ, we move on up to an deluxe apartment in the sky, friends!

It's not prayer, worship, Bible Study or service that changes your game.  We can do all of those things without ever trusting The Lord.  It takes a heart, spirit and mind united in the belief of the Cross that unlocks the jail cell.  That faith gets us up and moving, out of the cell block, out of the yard and out past the fence line.  It's as much as a change of location and address as a change of heart. 

Acknowledging God's ways as the right way doesn't get me beyond the fence.  It's the living constantly connected to the Holy Spirit, nose-to-shoulder-blades that gets us into freedom.  We will spend time living in the halfway house (Part 3), transitions into our custom-made Jesus-Joint (Part 4), or more commonly known as the Promised Land. 

Freedom is learned blessing, on His terms.

Aren't you tired of doing all the "right" things but never seeing any reward or change?  Are you sick of the fruit dying on the vine and the gifts He's given you go unused?  Are you interested in what abundant life really looks like?

Then do more than agree, dare to hope.  Walk out of your jail cell into the blinding Son-light.  It will hurt your eyes at first, but you will get used to it.  So much more awaits you, so much life in that light than you could ever dream.  Hope for it and grab at it with both hands.

A New Rhythm

I've been going through some changes.  The genesis of all of it has to do with something that happened to me 10 days ago.  It wasn't an experience with God I'd ever been told about.  I didn't know it existed.  It does, right there in Scripture and for 10 years now (or more) I've completely missed it!  But after I got over the initial shock and discomfort, I went ahead and dove into the deep end of the pool.  I let "God do the thing that only God can do."*

He opened my eyes to a new way of knowing Him, of Him living in me and, of course, the freedom of meeting Him there.

He baptized me in His Holy Spirit.

There are some of you out there mentally giving me a high five/fist bump/side hug right now.  Others are saying, "Wha???"  Still others are saying, "That is way too far out there for me, only crazy emotional charismatic people talk like that!"  I'm in no position to convince you of the truth of this experience.  I'm only saying that I know in the pit of my gut what has happened to be true.  I am at the starting line of a new course of the race of faith. 

I love it.  I love how the Lord, in just a short period of time, has opened by eyes, mind and heart to know and love Him more.  It's more than that - I'm more capable of knowing His love.  Yah, I know that's out there.  I know what I'm saying maybe weird and uncomfortable.  The fact that my intellectual mind can even move my fingers to type these words is a miracle of His power.

The other evidence, which may only be apparent to me at this point, is startling.  I'm not ready to go into details, but I thought I knew this faith thing pretty well.  Oh, my pride!  The Lord in His mercy showed me there is ALWAYS more of Him to experience.  Of course, doubt crept in afterwards, the work of the enemy who is stripped of his power over me even more and now I know it.  Makes me all the more determined to let the gifts and fruit be made manifest in my life.

Further surrender, more submission, more relinquishing of myself.  In that, there is more awareness to the way to live and move and have my being in Him.  I am open to the rhythm of His Spirit - directing me and taking me further away from a life full of shame and guilt and duty; into a life of peace and (spiritual) prosperity.  I am further anchored, no, rooted and grounded in His love.  It's awesome.

It's not a rebirth.  It's not a resurrection.  It's not salvation all over again.  This is new, y'all.  Full Gospel stuff.

There is a catch (isn't there always?)  I have to be available and I have to practice being available.  There are times in the day, I'm finding, where my old habits kick in.  Things of the natural start to grab hold of the blessings of the supernatural.  That's when things start to go sideways because I close up shop and just want to go to bed.  I get tired, y'all.  My endurance to stay at this new level of faith is being built up, so in the process, I backslide into my own strength.  

Still, because I have more of Christ-in-me, more of the hope-of-this-calling, I turn back to Him sooner.  I'm learning faster.  I'm hungering more.  I'm less faith-less.  My mind and body are now completely subject to my spirit - which is, more than ever, connected to the Holy Spirit.  It is so cool.

Please pray for me.  Pray I will not get lukewarm or lose my passion for The Passion of Christ.  I want to flow in response to God's leading, not force my way or try to push through.  I'm strong, I'm really good at pushing through.  Yet, when the Spirit says rest, I want to rest.  When the Spirit says let go, I want to let go.  When the Spirit says get up and go, I want to....you get the idea.  What God-the Holy Spirit says, I want to hear...and respond to immediately. 

It is Him that I'm chasing now, more than even the good and glorious gifts He gives.  More to come!

*Quote from St. Augustine

For the Sheep Who've Lost Their Way (In Case They Don't Know It)

I did a study over the summer about the 7 "I AM" statements of Christ.  Three of them, I learned, had to do with taking care of sheep.  Not just any sheep, but the sheep that belong to  God's flock.  In one statement, Jesus is the doorway into that sheepfold.  He is how you get in the door.  You can't climb in over the wall, Christ is the only way in.

In another statement, Jesus called Himself the Good Shepherd.  He is the one responsible for all the sheep in His flock.  He's been directed to them by the Father and it is His job to take care of them.  To keep them safe, by any means necessary - including caring for them when they are ill and disciplining them when they wander. (See Psalm 23 for a good picture.)

Now the third statement: Jesus is not only the way into the flock of God and the Caretaker of them, He is the path they walk on through the seasons.  He is the way - the straight, narrow to stay safe and thriving in the flock.

It's a simple idea with profound implications.  We talk so much about giving, teaching, preaching, service, prayer, worship.  We want to do it all.  We want to get it right because we want others to know Him.  That's all good.  He wants us to want the things He wants.

What so often happens though, we forget He is the way to do it all.  It is only His finished work on the Cross that we can get anything done.  It is only through Christ Crucified we can usher in the Kingdom of Christ Resurrected.  It is only by a focus on walking with Him, daily (or hourly), in a cycle of repentance to rest, the Kingdom will be realized.

I'm convicted enough to say something because I know the difference between His way and my way.  Over and over, I find rest and joy when I turn to Jesus instead of to myself or others.  However, I mostly screw things up when I don't turn to Him.  When my emotions surge and I am overwhelmed, if I don't hit the pause button to say, "Ok, Lord, You go," things are going to get ugly.

It isn't just enough to say that 2 years ago, the Lord healed my daughter.  I want to experience Him like that daily.  I want to see His power at work every day.  I want to desire Him more than life.  So, I have to ask Him for that.  I have to go to Him, I have to keep my heart and mind open to Him by centering on Him.

I'm not going to mature in my faith if I don't.  I won't find solace if I don't seek the growth that comes from the continual cycle of repentance and right positioning.  Spiritual health is arguably more important than physical health if we want to lead lives of abundance and freedom.  So, I came up with a self-test (drudged up from a memory of someone else's writing no doubt.  I am so not original.)  I want to know if am I growing or am I'm stagnating.  I decided my examples had to recent, or I'm off the beaten path and that's definitely a problem.

Have a crack at it; see where you are.  

1. What is God doing in my life right now?

2. What freedom am I experiencing through further dependence on Christ's way of living?

3. What prayers of mine, big and small, has God answered recently?

3. How is the Holy Spirit redeeming me today?

Can you pull up something less than a month old?  Or you are harkening back to what God did years ago?  Are you hot, cold or lukewarm?  Is your love for Him chilling or is your burning zeal a roaring fire?

The answers to those questions are between you and Jesus.  If the results are stark, I'm here to remind you, your life has a (even) greater purpose than what you are living for now.  You might have to wait on the big reveal, but the first step is to admit you are a sheep gone astray.  Jesus loves to meet you where you are and bring you back to His place.  You don't have to clean up or prayer harder or do more.

Just admit it to Him and you are back on the right path, freshly washed.  Seek up-to-date answers and He won't fail to provide.  If you are good to go - keep going!  Blessings coming!

God's love is one addiction we are supposed to have.  Keep seeking it, hungering and thirsting for Him above all else.  You will never regret it.  He will lead you, guide you, heal you, put hope in you.

Because His love never fails, never runs out and never gives us.  It is the most excellent way!

Hallowed Be Thy Name: Life of Mercy - Book Excerpt

I'm not sure why I'm doing this post today, other than responding to a prompting I'm feeling.  I've been working on a trio of books that flush out what Matthew 22:37-39 mean for us today.  The first one is about what it means to love God.  The second about what it means to love yourself.  The third and final is what it means to love your neighbor.  There are a lot of people in Church today that, despite excellent preaching and teaching, still need to go higher, deeper and wider with the Lord.  I'm still not sure if I'm the one to write this message for any other reason than  I'm living it. 

Even with those misgivings, I still have to say it.  This part is from a chapter currently called Love.  (Maybe by the time it's published, I'll think of a better chapter title.)

Someone is seeking more of God but not quite sure how to go about it.  This portion is part of the chapter discussing how love and respect go together to tie us further into God.  I'm going to paste it now, trusting that the Lord will do what He wants with it, in all it's mildly edited glory.  Here goes nothing.... 

Hallowed Be Thy Name

A right relationship with God starts with love, manifests itself in submission and then obedience; but is born out of a heart full of reverence.  Reverence, or honor and respect (often called “fear of the Lord” in Scripture) is about knowing where God is supposed to be, in the universe and in your heart (and by extension, where you fit in to it all as well).  It’s about making sure you don’t put yourself as equal with God, but let Him lift you up, rather than pushing hard to do it yourself.  Kirk Franklin sums it up nicely when he says,

You are God and I am not.

If we truly love someone, we respect them, hopefully.  It’s hard to respect someone you don’t love (or like); ok - pretty much impossible.  Just being the humans we are, it’s hard to maintain that position of love-honor-respect for a lengthy period of time.  If there is any doubt of that in your mind, look at the state of marriage today.  That’s the easy example, especially when I look at my own.  It seems to be easiest to disrespect the people closest to you, those you claim to love the most.  Or, take a look at my kids who stray into the disrespectful ways of behavior most often with me versus, say, their grandparents. 

(When my older girls were younger, I was told to take their disobedience, i.e. temper tantrums, as a compliment.  The logic is they are most comfortable with me, so they feel I'm the safest person to act crazy around because they know I won't love them any less.  Maybe that is true, but that logic fails to convince me to cut them much slack.)

Drifting into disrespect is the human condition.  But faith in Christ means we have a desire to be elevated above our regular old humanity.  It means we want to make good on God’s promise to demonstrate His glory through His creatures.  Even the often stumbling, bumbling Disciples show this to be true when they ask Jesus to teach them how to pray.  They knew He was doing it right, connecting God the Father the way it was supposed to be done.  Those nutty guys proved we can be human and still pursue the longing for more of the divine influence.  It’s what we said we wanted when we asked Jesus for salvation and what He promises to give us on the journey to make us saints.

Paul Escamilla articulates this in his book Longing for Enough in a Culture of More.  He discusses the impact of the first line of the Lord’s prayer,

…If you yourself felt a need deep within to honor something beyond yourself, namely your Creator, to hold in unspeakable regard the God who made you, loves you, and made those whom you love, the God who created the very world in which you live and move and have your being.  Only if we had to name some reality in whose presence we would be hard pressed not to weep in wonder – only then would we teach a prayer that began in the way Jesus’ prayer begins, Hallowed be your name.

Escamilla ends the chapter with what we already know – to pursue the wonder of God made more full in our lives is a risk.  It requires sacrifice, a lessening of our grip on the world (and our own lives), in order to grab hold of more of Jesus.  We must be in a position where He is the only solution, like the woman with the issue of blood.  We must love, respect and honor Him as the way to wholeness, which motivates us to reach for His hemline.  If that is all we ever touch, we will still have the faith that touching just that small article of clothing, the very edge of His glory, will be more than enough to heal us. 

When we enter into a life lived for God’s mercy, we know we will get something out of it.  What exactly remains to be seen and that’s where we (I) falter.  Fear and pride shift into high gear to win the war over love and respect.  It’s the well-worn struggle of flesh versus spirit.  And the Spirit won’t always win.

Yet that is exactly the reason our love and reverence, or hallowing of God, can grow.  He allows us to come back despite our failings and fallings.  He is a God worthy of the sacrifice.  He is constantly moving us and this world towards shalom – or wholeness.  His goal is to heal His creation; and healing – who doesn’t need a little (or a lot) of that?

Jesus said He came for the sick.  What He didn’t say, but Scripture does, is that we are all sick.  It is in our efforts to connect with God, to make Him, His Son and His Spirit, more real, that we find the wholeness we seek.  Here is a prayer I wrote while meditating on revering God more in my own life and loosely based on Psalm 25:4-5,

Lord, thank you for taking me to a place where questions, control, fear and the unknown don’t stop me from seeking You.  I want to grow in relationship to you, move to a new level of faith, love and respect for all Your ways.  Teach me more about Your love, grace, mercy and holiness because it is in that place where You heal my humanity that the shades of my life turn from gray to an explosion of color I’ve never before seen. 

It’s the moment when humanity is overcome by Majesty.

When Grace is ushered in for good,

And all my scars are understood.

When Mercy takes its rightful place

And all my fears fade away.

When out of weakness we must bow,

To hear You say, “It’s over now.”

Those are lyrics from Mercy Me’s song, “The Hurt and the Healer.”  No matter what season of life you are in, God deserves more respect.  His commands, His way of life demand more reverence.  He is owed elevation from just a God we know to a God we don’t know, but want to.  In the search for His truth to be made tangible, we will understand more and more and more.  Not only that, we will hunger for more and more and more of the right ways of being – the ways He intended in the first place.  The right way of life starts with the right position.  Mr. Franklin has been right all along.  He is God and I am not. 

So, Hallowed be Thy Name.