Tears - An All Saints Day Tribute

As I often do, I'll start this post off with some brutal honesty.

I've never given All Saints Day much thought.  It is a centuries old tradition, especially meaningful in the first 300 years of the Church when so many were martyred.  It still has a place today, and in the Methodist church, on the first Sunday of November, we celebrate the lives of those who've gone home to heaven in the last year.  As a family, we've lost people before now - including Dave's beloved grandmother Mable 18 months ago.  Yet, it's never hit this close to home; so close to pull me out of my self-absorbed reverie to grasp the full meaning. This All Saints Day, the day we put my Dad's ashes in the ground after church, definitely brings the full concept painfully close.

I woke this morning with a song in my head, "Already There," by Casting Crowns (you can listen to it here).  I've listened to that song a lot in the last 6 weeks.  We all have moments where we look at God and go, "What is happening?  Why?  When?  Where?....Huh, God?"  It is immensely comforting for me to be able to say, One day I'll stand before You and look back on the life I've lived. I can't wait to enjoy the view and see how all the pieces fit.

Today, of all days, when I know it will be so hard, I am desperately clinging to that hope of glory.  There will be a day when those questions get answered.  It's funny to think, too, some of those questions I think are so important right now will not be when I'm standing next to Jesus. 

But for right now, just for today, for the next few hours, I'm not going to ask any questions.  I am just going to rest in the comfort of knowing God has me.  He has us.  He has my Dad.  He has the whole world.  He has not lost His grip. He is  present and able, always.  He is kind and gracious.  He loves me.  He loves you.  He knows it hurts and how badly it does.  He is already at the end of my life on earth but at the same time, and I write this with incredible mystery and wonder, He is right here with me in this moment and time.  I know all of that for sure, even if I don't understand it at all.

For anyone out there struggling like me, on this All Saint's Day, I gained permission from my friend
to post a vision she shared with me this week.  It is SO powerful, it shifted my thought-life about the world to come in a major way.  My friend is working through a decade-old grief and recently had a healing experience in prayer which is nothing short of otherworldly.  It's called Tears and will speak to the heart of anyone who's lost a loved one, as well as all those who've wondered what the Lord really does with our tears.  It's precious.  Please take it in and know the Lord indeed provides this level of comfort to all when we ask. 

Lord, You've kept track of all my wandering and my weeping.  You've stored my many tears in Your bottle, not one will be lost.  You care about me every time I've cried.  For it is recorded in Your book of remembrance. - Psalm 56:8

I asked the Lord for a picture and this is what He gave me.  I share it with you.

I saw your tears, I felt my own - I fell to my knees.  Why Lord, why so much pain - who will carry all this pain?

In an instant I was swept away to a place; a weighty place so beautiful that words alone are insufficient.  I believe it was a secret place, for the most magnificent beings I have ever seen lined the room in majesty.  There were more than I could count and each one was holding a bottle.  Was it a bottle of light?  A bottle of gold?  A bottle of glory?  I could not tell.

No one spoke and I knelt, trembling in fear.  When I looked up, one bottle caught my eye.  It seemed to shine like the stars of Heaven.  The angel holding it summoned me toward it.  As I came near I saw its color; iridescent blue mixed with a majestic purple I have never seen on earth.  I could not take my eyes off such a stunning sight - my eyes were fixed, almost frozen as I looked upon this jar of beauty.  What was stored in such a container?  It could only be something worth more than all the wealth of the nations or all the hearts of men.  What could it be?

As I looked at this amazing bottle, I saw a name written on it - it was your name. The angel tipped the bottle and summoned me to look in - I trembled and tried to look away but I could not; I wanted to see the treasure within.  As I looked, I saw you my sweet friend, crying.  There you were, broken-hearted and tears unstoppable.  Before I could reach out to you, I saw your tears dropping, dropping into the beautiful bottle.  Yes, every tear spilling into this jar, not one to be lost.  As I watched the scene before me, I saw your tears turning into gems, diamonds and sapphires.  Each tear that dropped turned into splashes of beauty that were carefully contained so as not to be lost.   

I looked up at the angel as if to ask why but then I saw beyond the tears - it was a great and glorious ocean, iridescent blue and majestic purple splashing upon the beach.  Each splash formed a beautiful gemstone creating the sand.  Then I saw Him - my Jesus - His eyes the color of the ocean, His smile so joyful my heart could barely contain such magnificence.  He was running and laughing in the sand.  He was playing with someone - a family - I looked, it was you.  You were together - all of you - your faces looked happy, joyful yet filled with a peace I have never seen.  I watched Jesus as He carefully ran His hand through the sand.  It was as if the joy were come from the gems that formed the sand.

Yes, the joy was coming from the gems; the diamonds and sapphires that had been your tears.  The ones He had guarded so closely and stored in this jar of beauty were shining with joy.  How could this be - such pain turned to joy?  I looked again and I saw you crying, yet dancing together in the sand at the same time.  Could this ?  Two worlds so carefully knit together?  One of pain and one of joy?

Then I asked: WHY LORD ARE THESE TEARS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU THAT NONE ARE TO BE LOST?

Immediately the angel tipped the jar so I could no longer see the contents but before me sat another bottle.  This one was gold, so bright I could barely look upon it but I saw for a fleeting moment the name: THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB.

I fell to the floor with my face down for fear I would die at such a precious sight.  My Savior's blood - the very blood that was shed for my life.  And then I knew....His blood that come from such a great sacrifice was shed for our tears, your tears, my tears, all the pain of this world.  Those tears were worth more than I could think or imagine and none were to be lost.

In an instant I was back on my knees, tears streaming down my face - tears for you.  The Lord was there holding a bottle - this one had my name on it - collecting my tears; the ones He gave His life for.  At that moment I let go - I surrendered my tears to Him who promised to carry my sadness, my pain, my heartbreak.  I know each tear has a safe place till Heaven and earth are one.  I do not understand but I will trust.

I pray that you will allow your tears to flow freely - for not one is ever lost or wasted and someday those tears will be like grains of sand that look like diamonds filling an ocean that only knows JOY.

I am forever thankful for you...my friend. 

Help Me With My Half-Belief

I went to a Book of Acts level house-church service last night.  That's the only way I can describe it.  Last week, a dear, sweet sister-friend of mine gave me a couple of books she felt would really speak into me during this season of my life.  She was right-on.  As I read them, I became aware that I needed her and a few others to pray the Father's tender love into me.

(As I texted her this morning - I would have needed that gentle refilling anyway.  I didn't realize how much I was weary in doing good.  The signs were there but my Dad's death showed me with alarming clarity that I was doing so much in my own strength.  The wound was there.  My Dad's passing just made the hole that much larger.)

So, we set it up.  No one really knew, even Sarah and I, what to expect.  When you turn everything over to God, He shows up in totally unexpected and fantastic ways.  It was better than we could have imagined even if we'd tried.  For me personally, I was able to grieve in the comforting arms of my heart family (everyone needs people like this....where you can be totally walls down...it is what Christianity is really all about.)  I entered into the story of Mary and Martha meeting Jesus after Lazarus' death.  I went there with all the pain and anguish of losing my Dad, which I'd not really touched deeply since he passed.  They laid loving hands on me as I cried on their knees.  Sarah anointed my head with pomegranate oil as I washed Jesus' feet with my tears.

Following that (there was so much more to come even though that release would have been enough), I was knocked over by the power of God so I could receive the light and warmth of the re-filling/overfilling of Christ's love for me.

After that (yes, still more), they prayed the heaviness off of me: those burdens I've carried for 3 long weeks (and truly longer).  THEN AFTER THAT (yep, still more), we took communion together.  It was just otherworldly.  I have never experienced the Body and Blood of Christ in a way that literally changed me from the inside out.  Warmth spread over my chest in a physical reflection of His love.  I could breath more freely than I have in weeks (and possibly ever). That feeling has yet to leave me and I pray it never does.  Jesus showed me, in a physical way, His burden is SO MUCH LIGHTER THAN MY OWN. (Matthew 11:27-28).

Then (still going) we laughed and praised and danced and celebrated in the joy of the Lord like total IDIOTS.  My cheeks cramped and my abs are sore today from laughing so hard.  We continued to pray and share until it was finally time to go home.  I fell asleep with the lightness and warmth in my heart and a smile on my face.

I know that's a long story but I share it for one reason: to let you know what is possible with God.  When my friend Cindi and I were driving home, we were discussing her vision.  She (literally) saw angels around the crown molding in the room.  Sarah then, a few minutes later, saw the trumpets the angels held.  They didn't just see it with spiritual sight.  THEY ACTUALLY SAW THEM.

There's a part of our minds that wants to write things like that off, even though you know they are real.  You question what you are seeing and lean into it couldn't be real; you are making it all up inside your head.  Our flesh wants to write it off.  Why? A lot of reasons, but I think mostly because we don't want people to think we are crazy and it doesn't make sense.  The supernatural is hard to process because it is well...not natural.

What do you think would happen, though, if we stopped questioning so much?  Most people I know aren't prone to hallucinations.  They are rational and lucid, so experiencing things like what happened to us last night - can and does happen.  I have to wonder - what if it isn't our faith we have to suspend but rather our skepticism about God and what He will do? 

This is not a new question.  Eric Metaxas recently released an excellent exposition on the miraculous (simply called Miracles.  I highly recommend).  C.S. Lewis explored their possibility in one of his books (also simply titled Miracles, which I'm about to read).  Believing in the supernatural wonders of God is not a new question, but it is the one us Western-educated people seem to struggle with the most.  We find the struggle in Scripture, too, of course.

It's the same question Jesus posed to the father of the possessed boy in Mark 9.  The Complete Jewish Bible translates verse 23 as:  What do you mean, 'if you can'? Everything is possible to someone who has trust!  Eugene Peterson's The Message puts that verse like this: If?  There are no 'ifs' among believers.  Anything can happen!

The father responds with faith - or rather what I would call half-faith. As Cindi and I talked last night, a thought came to me.  It isn't really unbelief or true doubt.  We can't imagine what is possible because we've never seen it.  Even though Scripture tells us to walk by faith and not by sight, we are still very, very visual creatures.  Really I should say sensual; by which I mean we experience this world through our 5 senses.

Yet, God consistently asks us to step out of what we can touch, taste, see, hear and feel.  For those that do, we are rewarded with richer, fuller faith.  He did say those who believe and don't see would be blessed (John 20:29).  The Lord God made us for tangible experiences, even as He is intangible.  So, in faith, or should I say, by faith alone, we are to trust when we step out into blank space, He will catch us by providing the foundation to land on.

It's hard.  I know.  Even seeing what I've seen, it is still hard to come out of my own head.  I want to know what to expect.  I want to know what He is going to do.  That's just not the way He works.  So, it is easier to stay in my lane, expecting nothing or (worse) what has happened before.  This is the Creator we are talking about though.  If no two snowflakes are the same, why would His answers to prayer be the same?

I looked up the Greek word in Mark 9:24 for "unbelief."  A lack of belief isn't completely accurate - it is better to say lack of faithfulness or "want of faith."  The boy's father clearly had enough faith to come to Christ, so for that reason alone, I can say he clearly had some faith. 

Still, his challenge, and the challenge to us, is to believe in God's choice of the way to work, rather than our own understanding or choosing of the way things work (Proverbs 3:4-5).  The Lord set the laws of the universe into motion and, generally speaking, works within that known order.  However, He doesn't have to - or more realistically - our knowledge of the laws that govern our existence are still (even with all the advances and technology) impartial at best.  If anything, our discoveries show us how little we actually do know.  

So, Jesus is asking the father - and us - to stop limiting Him.  Stop expecting to know what He is able to do.  Stop trying to guess how He will work, or worse, tell Him what He should do.  He wants us, as His children, to humbly come, expecting He is going to do something - and it will be better and more complete than what we could dream up.

I close with the boundaries of my limits being pushed.  Here's my version of Mark 9:23: Just come with Me.  Just go with what I am doing.  I can do anything.  Do you believe Me?

And after last night - this is my new response: I believe Lord....help me stop half-believing and fully trust You can and will do abundantly more than I can ask or think or expect.

2015: The Year of Prayer....I've missed a few weeks.

So, it's been awhile since I posted on this year long journey to document my life in prayer.  I just counted back and I guess this is Week 38.  It feels like an ocean of time has passed since the last time I thought to write.  I tried last week Tuesday and it didn't go very well.  I don't even really have the mental fortitude to journal.

The truth is, I hit a wall.  My Dad died.  Prayer was/is about the only thing I could/can really do "well," because the Lord is the most consistent voice in my head.  Every other input is all messed up.  My emotions are all over the place.  I'm either not hungry or starving.  My mind starts to spin on all sorts of weird ideas and there are some nights when sleep completely eludes me.

In short, things are off-kilter in my life.  I feel unbalanced and destabilized.  A good visual here is my desk....it's just a mess.

I can't tell you how grateful I am for the calls, comments, emails, texts, cards, hugs, meals and condolences we've received.  I'm not capable of taking it all in or talking to everyone, but I am so grateful...Please know that.  We have so much to do to help my Mom get organized and the details of death continue to roll along.

The reality is starting to set in.  Friday it hit me hard.  I took some notes in the middle of my anguish (in the middle of the night) and to look at them is painful.  I don't include them because they are too personal and intimate, and would be at the very least, awkward for you.  It is a painful place we are in.  Saturday hit still harder when, in starting to clean out Dad's office, I found a file with my initials on it.  There were a few letters in there, one from in the last five years that starts, "Dad, our pastor encouraged us to write a note to the people in your life that mean the most to you....."

That's as far as I got.

In the middle of this mess is a life still to be cared for.  Something is pushing me through.  It's being a a wife and a mom, even if the person in those roles is a little nutty in certain moments.  It's being a daughter and a sister.  It's being a prayer warrior and friend.  It is who I am to just keep going but I'm pretty dang tired of going. 

We are still being held, kept close to the side of our Shepherd-Father-Comforter.  He is ever-present.

My spirit/soul/mind and body have been craving The Word, so I went and bought myself a couple of Bibles last week (which is crazy because I already have a lot but I figure it's a good investment).  One of them is a One Year Bible and part of this morning's entry, Psalm 77, really encapsulates how I feel.  The Psalms, I believe, were inspired, written and included because the Lord wants us to know He created, understands and gets the range of human emotion.  Bonus for me, this was written by Asaph, my personal favorite Psalm writer (although David is pretty good too.)  I like Asaph because he usually echos my voice as a person and a writer.  Asaph writes what I think.

We have a long way to go but we have a God who specializes in being in it for the long-haul.  Thank you for your prayers, keep them coming.  My Mom, my brother, myself and our families need them now that the dust is settling and the real work of grieving begins.  Love you.  Hug, Friend.

 Psalm 77 - For Jeduthun. Of Asaph.
 I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me.  When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted.  I remembered you, O God, and I groaned; I mused, and my spirit grew faint. Selah.

You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak.  I thought about the former days , the years of long ago; I remembered my songs in the night.  My heart mused and my spirit inquired: "Will the Lord reject forever?  Will he never show his favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful?  Has he in anger withheld his compassion?" Selah.

Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High."  I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.  I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.  Your ways, O God, are hold.  What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. Selah.

The waters saw you, O God, the waters saw you and writhed; the very depths were convulsed.  The clouds poured down water, the skies resounded with thunder; your arrows flashed back and forth.  Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked.  Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.  You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

2015: The Year of Prayer - Week 27

Have you ever read something in Scripture, but never fully, truly believed it?

Have you ever, for years, wished for something to be true but it never rang that way inside your soul?

Have you ever looked in the mirror, knowing God loves you but never deep down, felt it?

Yeah, me too.

Nothing about praying a lot or leading people in prayer or knowing the Bible really well or consistently hearing from the Lord or having a deep well of hope, purpose and meaning completely erased this nagging sense of doubt in my mind and heart.  When I would read the verses about being dearly loved, treasured, purified, whole, beautiful in the Bible, I didn't completely accept it for myself.  I'm being as blatantly honest as I can.  I've been journaling for weeks now about how I knew the Lord wanted to rid me of these deep-seated insecurities.  It's been a good 4 months of full consciousness of this nonsense (for I've known it was nonsense for the last 11 years since I came back to Christ).  But still, my thoughts about myself never quite matched God's thoughts about me.

It wasn't just that, though, either.  My thoughts about who I was never quite lined up with anyone else's thoughts either.  That's why I have always been uncomfortable when people compliment me -  on anything.  I am literally struck dumb and my response comes out feeling painfully awkward and inadequate.

That's the word - inadequate.  For most of my life, on and off, I have felt I'm in no way up to the task - whatever that task is.  That's spilled over into my perception of my physical self too.  (I know I've written about this before, even last week.  See, it's been on my mind for a long, long, long time).  Culture grossly inflates the idea that you aren't good enough and then add in the efforts of the enemy to steal, kill and destroy....well, I just didn't believe what others said.

I've had moments of fleeting freedom.  Multiple times, I set my face like a flint against this insecurity but it never lasted more than a few days.  I knew the end of it was coming, though.  I've witnessed and participated in too many miraculous works of God lately to think He wasn't going to set me free from this.  I just had to wait on the right time, when everything was lined up in His order. In our Wednesday night regular prayer meeting, it was.  

It didn't start that way, for the first 45 minutes, I was leading the prayers.  But it ended with me on the floor being prayed over...and stuff getting prayed out.  It was a most holy and interesting experience.  I'm tempted to get on my face now, I am still so humbled by it.  Thanks to the gifted and Holy Spirit-led ministrations of 9 friends family members, all that insecurity, all that inadequate feeling was removed from my soul and body.  I didn't thrash around, I never lost control of my mental facilities - I was a willing and able participant.  I contributed to the process because I knew it was time for all this double-mindedness to go.

For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind...For being as he is a man of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute), he is unstable and unreliable and uncertain about everything he thinks, feels, decides.

The Apostle James wrote that in the first part of his letter (James 1:6,8).  It describes who I was when I thought about myself.  40 years of hesitating, dubious, uncertain thinking about agreeing with God about me was healed.  It was really a miracle hour for me, a long time in coming.  Even (and especially) church leaders need to be prayed for and poured into.

This is not the end of the story - I still have to walk this truth out.  I have to stand firm against the wiles, tricks, illusions, imaginations of the enemy, the influence of the world and even when my own negative self talk rears its ugly head.  I have to remember to walk down a brand-new neurological path.  I can't go on auto-pilot down the same-old worn trail of self-doubt.  I have to remember the word the Lord left with me after that intense session was "Today you will be with Me in paradise."  The real truth of it is, I'm already there but not yet completely.  It's the now-not yet principle of eternal life in Christ.

(Read what I have to say about that idea here.)

The difference now verses before prayer on Wednesday is: the hole that was filled with insecurity and doubt is now filled with truth and faith.  I am secure in Him and I believe it.  I am not perfect and I am indeed more dependent on Him than ever.  But real freedom comes from dependence and obedience.  I can actually point to the area of my body where all those ugly feelings and thoughts were housed and know that place is now cleansed and cleared.

It really was a miracle.  That's the currency God deals in if you let Him.  He doesn't want His children to suffer, especially under the weight of any other yoke than His.  Every burden we would put on our own shoulders (or others have put on us) is too heavy.  Ella says that now when she tries to pick up a basket or bag.  She tries, puts it back down and looks at me.  She says, "Too heavy Mama."

We need to look at our Heavenly Father and say the same.  

I finally put this burden down.  I know and believe the truth of who I am....and when you know the Truth, you are free indeed.

2015: Year of Prayer, Week 24-25

For it is God's will and intention that by doing right (your good and honest lives) should silence (muzzle, gag) the ignorant charges and ill-informed criticisms of foolish persons. (1 Peter 2:15, AMP)

This morning, I started on Psalm 34:8  (Taste and see the Lord is good!)  But in weeks like the last couple, it gets real easy - too easy - to move from a position of grace to a position of anger (righteous, justified or otherwise).  I ended up in 1 Peter 2 because the Apostle references Psalm 34:8, as he is instructing Christian believers (I tend to think they were probably Messianic Jews; his words apply to us Gentiles too.)  He is helping them understand how to act in a time when their faith was a liability in the eyes of the world.

These last 10 days make me think our faith looks like a liability to some now too.

Between the shooting at Emanuel AME church in Charleston 10 days ago, or the ruling by the Supreme Court on Friday morning making same-sex marriage legal nationwide, it seems more than ever as Christians, we need to not only KNOW the right way to act to please God and draw others to Him......but do it. 

(Of course that means we will apply that to life differently, so grace and love must be the rule in every situation...especially in the family of faith.) 

One of my very good friends got a word from the Lord about 2015: RAPID.  Now is the time, there is probably not many more moments to waste if you are on the fence about making Jesus front and center in your life.  I'm not a harbinger of doom, but based on some of the commentary I've seen on social media....in the United States being a Christian may start doing us more harm than good.

But there is lies the challenge and what Peter was saying.  Jesus is either a stumbling block or a stepping stone (1 Peter 2:8).  He is either going to trip you up or raise you up.  He will either cause you to fall on your face or He will turn His face upon you (Num 6:24). 

In the case of Dylann Roof killing 9 brothers and sisters in Christ during a prayer meeting on 6/17/15, Christ was obviously a stumbling block.  But for those believers left behind, He was a stepping stone to lift them up to show what is possible with Christ.  Last Sunday, our pastor preached the quintessential message on this and in it, showed the video where Roof was confronted by several of the victim's family members...and they forgave him.  The clincher was the last lady to speak.  She was actually there, a witness to his crime....and she only spoke forgiveness.  Here is that video:

What is impossible with man is possible with God.  Forgiving the man who you watched murder 9 of your church family members less than 48 hours afterwards is impossible, short of the indwelling and overflowing of the Holy Spirit.

To the other major event this week, I'm not going to say much about same-sex marriage, other than I don't agree with it.  I have prayed and sought the mind of the Lord repeatedly on this issue and my heart is never changed.  However, I don't have to agree with a lifestyle to love someone.  In that same vein, as children of God, we don't have to be on the same side politically to worship Christ together.  The Lordship of Jesus Christ in our lives trumps every human institution and affiliation.

Our cultural system accepting and even promoting the LGBT way doesn't shake me.  What causes me concern is when it starts to affect our ability to freely live our faith.  That's where this is going, in case you didn't realize it.  Christians who support gay marriage will eventually feel the squeeze on their faith, just as those of us who don't agree with the ruling. 

My prayers (and the prayers of others) for the last 2 weeks (even longer really) have been for the Body of Christ.  We have got to put aside our doctrinal, denominational, political and self-serving issues and come together.  Revival is here and if anything gets in the way of you loving a brother or sister in Christ, it is time to sweep that leaven out of the house.  

Peter's words in his nearly-2000 year old letter are so critical to us now.  We must conduct ourselves properly, not according to our own understanding.  We must lean even more heavily into who the Lord has revealed Himself to be.  We must love the brotherhood - the Christian family - taking pains to make sure we don't give unbelievers any more ammunition not to come to Christ.  We have tasted and seen the Lord is good.  We KNOW HE IS.  It is time to demonstrate that to the world so they, too, will see He is good.

I know this doesn't sound much like a record of my prayer journey but it is.  This is a post for me.  This is me pouring out my heart to God.  This is me going vertical.  This is what is on my mind.  I am not perfect, nor will I ever be on this Earth (praise God, I will be in heaven!).  It is convicting to look back on my day yesterday and see how many times I failed to reflect His heart especially when emotions and hot-bed issues are involved.

So, I repent.  I ask for forgiveness.  I ask the Lord to create a right spirit in me, not one of my own making, but right in His eyes.  I don't want to be known for anything other than my faith.  It speaks the loudest, through the actions of my life and my character. 

It is a challenging business being a Christian.  I pray for me.  I pray for you.  I pray for all of us.  We are heading into perilous waters.  But I know the One who walked on the waves.  And so did Peter, which is why he could tell us how to live, even as he was walking it out too (pun intended). 

Let my heart reflect Yours, Oh, Lord.  Help me.  Help us, Your People. Help our nation and our world.  Let us become more aware of Your Presence.  Let us experience....let us taste and see and live for...the glory of Your Goodness.

2015: The Year of Prayer - Week 21 & 22

It's another combo post here at Jesus Bling.  Last week blew past and this week I am trying to get on top of things.  Last week was filled with all manner of spiritual blessings and warfare.  This week, I'm working to clear off my desk.  Last week was full tilt, this week is a snail's pace.

If I could make an analogy - for those of you who remember Astroworld (I realize I'm dating myself) - last week was a ride on the Texas Cyclone.  At times, it was beyond exhilarating and at other times,  down-right terrifying.  The Cyclone was never a ride I wanted to immediately repeat even if there was no line.  The rickety creaking of the world's largest wooden roller coaster was the sound of pure gut-churning, adrenaline-soaked adventure.  I could only take it once per visit.

This week, as it pleases the Lord, I would assume not get on a ride.  I just want to get a soft pretzel and walk around the park for a little bit.

As you might have gathered, whether from this commentary or if you follow me on any type of media, last week was flat out nuts.  It started with the 50 or100 year flooding levels, depending on who you ask, last Monday night/Tuesday morning.  There were some 50+ trillions of gallons of rain dropped on the City of Houston.  Some of those gallons found their way into our house, almost 1 year to the day of the last time that same thing happened.  Tuesday morning Dave and I stayed up till 2 am getting standing water off our downstairs floors - a full 5 hours of fighting the flood.  It nearly happened again on Saturday afternoon - prayer and my husband's clear-thinking saved us.  We are still cleaning!  We are lining up contractors and fighting the possible mold-mildrew creep in our walls.

(Appreciate prayers against that!!)

As if that wasn't enough (and it was), we had a slew of other twists and turns. Ella Grace had strep, Sophia had a cold and it was the last week of school; part of which included Natalie's 5th grade graduation activities.  Then there was The Release healing service Wednesday, which I lead in putting together.  It was the culmination of a month of personal prayer, fasting, reading, studying, meeting and all around preparation.  People getting prayed for, praying for others and each of us finding healing all over the place; all in marvelous worship of the full Presence of God.   It was awe-inspiring.

Thursday morning at 1:30 am,  I woke up sick. My throat was on fire. I was pretty sure I had strep.  Turns out I didn't but it was a natural assumption given my proximity to Little Bitty all week.

The funny thing was, I felt no compulsion to pray it off, even after just being at a healing service!  I felt like the Holy Spirit was revealing to me how far I'd pushed myself, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and of course, physically speaking.  It is clearly time to rest; my gas tank sensor flashing on "E." 

I recognize many events from last week were "just" life but many other things were enemy assaults.  There is great kingdom work going on in the City of Houston - which very much includes my own life.  Revival isn't just coming, it is here and there is nothing the enemy would like more than to derail it in any and every way possible.

He tried.  He failed.  But I got plumb wore-out holding up my shield of faith with such intensity.

So this week, I need a rest from the front-lines and I'm taking it.  God is gracious, understanding and abounding in steadfast-love.  It is in that love I find my strength, my rest and my promise for renewal.  Compared to the high volume of last week, this week is on silent.

One of my favorite passages is Psalm 131 (and not just because of its brevity).  I love it from The Message: 

God, I’m not trying to rule the roost, I don’t want to be king of the mountain. I haven’t meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans.  I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.  Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content. Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope.  Hope now; hope always!

This morning is the first time in 6 days I feel like myself.  I feel the energy and life starting to flow again.  I'm practicing the quiet with my kids, at the house, around town.  My family needs it.  It's summer, praise God!  Now is the time to rest, before swim meets, camps, vacation and the coming Houston holy-hotness of late July, August and September (and who are we kidding? October is usually pretty warm too.)  I'm still praying, interceding, studying and trusting in the Lord.  It is in this waiting, being on the look out for Holy Spirit's continued work, I will find renewal.  It is just what the Great Doctor ordered.

He invigorates the exhausted, he gives strength to the powerless.  Young men may grow tired and weary, even the fittest may stumble and fall;  But those who hope...search for...have trust in...wait...believe in Adonai will renew their strength.  (Isaiah 40:29-31, CJB)

2015: The Year of Prayer, Week 20

Didn’t you know that I had to be concerning myself with my Father’s affairs? (Luke 2:49b, CJB)

This week I was preparing and being prepared.  Something big is coming and we are getting ready to receive it.  Hope and Healing have taken flight and will be landing at 7 pm on Wednesday, May 27th in the Upper Room at Chapelwood when the next Release service begins.

I understand that is a brash statement, but I can't help it.  Whatever happens, it will be big - to us, to the people in attendance, to those who hear about it.  It will be big not because we've spent a month planning it (verses a week and even less a few times).  It will be big because the Lord has business to attend to.  He is coming for His broken, captive, wounded, hurting people.  He is coming for the ill, the maimed, the diseased - of heart, mind, soul, spirit and body.  He is coming and we are waiting on Him.

Some of the prep activities are practical: meetings, laying out the music, the Scripture and who is involved, as well as working out the form (yes, there is a form to it for those of you who have been, but we try very hard to not let that get in the way, so Holy Spirit can do what only He can do.)  We are making sure everyone is in prayer about it. 

All very practical stuff.

Yet, there is the other, internal stuff going on.  January kicked off a season of intense growth and it keeps rolling.  I'm literally learning something new every day - whether it is in reading the Bible or other books; praying and living life with people; or just being with my family.  

He is teaching me what it means to be open, to be vulnerable to Him and be about His business, instead of always just my own.

That's a been a meaningful verse for 4-5 years.  I realize in context it is Jesus' words about Himself and the precept He lived His life by, but as His disciple, it demonstrates what my focus should be too.  I'm becoming more aware of how that applies to my life.  The key to it is not the word "business" - not the stuff of doing for the Kingdom of God.  It is the relationship to the Lord, which I have been reminded of several times in prayer over the last 2 weeks.  The impact of God being My Father is enormous and overloads my mental circuits every time I ponder it. 

I have a great Dad - I've written about him before. But my Father is in Heaven.  I need a constant reset of that on a regular basis, especially with big, fun, exciting things on the horizon.  I started a new habit yesterday, really picked back up on an old one.  One of my favorite things to do is to listen to music while I walk and run (notice I did not put run first, I don't necessarily enjoy that....swimming, yes.  Running, not all that much).

The music makes it fun because all of it is worship.  As my body is engaged, my mind and spirit can soar.  I can praise, pray and just be with the Lord, as we circle the blocks and work Pepper, our dog, out too.  It is something I got twisted and had to take a break from at the end of last year.  It is time to pick it back up again and I remember now why I started running in the first place...

It certainly has health benefits (still fighting 10 lbs of baby weight, at 40, who would have thought I'd ever say that?)  More than that, it is an opportunity to be free, to dream unencumbered, in the early morning.  I can envision what God has for me and my family and explore His Father's heart as take strides together. 

My DNA is His.  I am a shepherd and prophet because I'm following in His footsteps.  I'm leading people to greener pastures because that is where He longs for us to be and He is showing me the path on which to take them.  The Lord wants His people whole, happy, blessed, joyous.  Jesus' Mission Statement from Isaiah 61:1-10 (just read all of Isaiah 61 and 62, it's incredible), proves it.  He and the Father are one and They want us FREE!

He is teaching me (and many others around me) how to help folks understand this eternal fact and go to and with Him themselves.  He sets the boundaries of our understanding, not the other way around.  Logic is good but it will only take you so far when you are dealing with the One who Created logic.  So, as He chooses to push my boundaries (and sometimes my buttons), this time with Him helps me walk in a manner worthy of Him....which is gratefully.

This week has been about seeing and knowing the beauty of the vulnerability of us to the Father but even more than that, the vulnerability of the Father to us....It is a mysterious, glorious reality.

I'm continuing to learn, listen to and operate in obedience and God-given authority, with the instruction I am given.  I don't get it right all the time.  I mess up the timing and the message.  Still, His grace and His love cover those foul ups. Being about my Father's business is the best place to be.

One of the songs that came on while I was typing this (I'm still listening to my running playlist) was a song from Francesca Battestelli - "He knows My Name."  In it, she calls out who she is in the Lord and it is true for all of us:

Chosen.

Free.

Forgiven.

Wanted.

Child of the King.

His Forever.

Held and Treasured.

I am Loved.

Maybe this week was hard for you.  Lean into the Father's arms for a little bit.  I hope your Saturday schedule gives you some time to do that.  Mine won't but that's why I get up so darn early.  ;)

In the meantime, I'm going to continue to wait till tomorrow and Wednesday, when I get to be with my faith family in the Presence of Our Savior and watch Him before miracles.  It's a little bit like waiting to go on vacation, I just can not wait!

Considering joining us Wednesday night and let me know if you would like more details.  I will have a wonderful report next week.  We are going deeper than our feet could ever wander, where our faith will be made stronger....Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders and I'm only about Your business.

(When in doubt....Oceans.)

2015: The Year of Prayer: Week 18

But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. - Micah 7:7

If you are looking for passages of Scripture to memorize, that's a good one because it is easy.  Its "address" is easy too.  Sometimes we just need the fundamental truth of God - anticipation, hope, salvation, recognition, expectation.  We have prayers, needs that are yet to be met.  Fulfillment of what we know God will do is not quite complete.  It's the now-not yet principal of our faith.

Thankfully, though, we have one advantage over the prophets - what they longed for, what they predicted - what here Micah eagerly awaits - we already know.  Messiah has come and He has finished the work for all of us.  The Apostle Paul (who I have a complicated relationship with although I truly love the guy) completes the thought of the promise from Micah in 2 Corinthians 1:20: For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.

It is significant Paul uses "Amen" in this verse because Amen actually means "Let it be so," or "It is so."  We end our prayers with that word (knowingly or unknowingly, as I wasn't aware of this till recently!) and we are saying, God, this is Yours.  We have prayed to You, now let Your will be established.  Let it be as You say it will be and we will give You all the glory for it.

In prayer, saying Amen is a final act of relinquishing - of giving everything over to God to do with as He sees fit.

I say all of this only because it highlights my week.  After last week (read about Week 17 here), this week felt more like a lull.  In the church seasons, we live most of our life in "Ordinary Time," (although technically that's not the season we are in).  This week has felt pretty ordinary.  Having every week be like last week is not physically speaking, sustainable....(our bodies need rest from the adrenaline soaked workings of the Holy Ghost)...still, this week sort of felt like a downer.

Not for lack of great God work.  Another young man I've been walking life with, Oliver, experienced a major deliverance on Sunday morning from 18 years of having to control everything.  He walked into our prayer time with back spasms and TMJ.  He walked out healed of the back spasms and well on his way to being freed from his painful jaw condition, with new spiritual weapons at his disposal.

On Wednesday, my good friend Audrey experienced the power of prayer like never before.  She was the recipient of the wonder-working power of the agreement of God with His people.  It was really intense and highlighted for me how much I need (we all need) Him directing things, so we can make those giant leaps into greater freedom.

Thursday, my friend Brad's sister Brooke, was seriously ill coming back from vacation.  She had to be rushed to the ER on her layover here on her way home to L.A.  Yet, thanks to God's foreknowledge, she was in the best place for care.  She obeyed the Lord when booking her trip.  She asked Him where she should connect through and He answered.  Months later, she was delivered into the best hands possible, medically and emotionally speaking (her family lives here). After only 48 hours in the hospital, she's been discharged, no surgery or procedures required, resting at home with her mom.  We are believing she will be well enough to come to church with her family on Sunday!   

Only God.

The tapestry He is weaving in the community of faith in Houston (and the U.S.) is taking shape for all who wish to see it.  It is incredible to be a part of!

As busy as God has been this week, so has the enemy.  I don't say that to give him any credit, I truly can't stand that devil.  He has been stirring up trouble, working to wreak havoc.  That's why Oliver had back spasms in the first place, and Brooke got sick.  None of that mess was from the Lord. 

For me personally, there were some tough lessons.  Character development is always rough.  Still, I'm thankful.  I know nothing is wasted, God is the original recycler.  He takes the past and the present, when we let Him, making all our trash into beautiful, useful, helpful new creations.  (See Genesis 50:20 and Romans 8:28)

One of the big things I learned was not to focus on the one area that is wrong in a relationship.  Instead, I need to let Holy Spirit shift me up a level - to look at the bigger picture.  Having a myopic view of a situation is very dangerous.  When you focus on the one area that is out of whack or balance, it ruins fellowship, connection and intimacy.  People aren't just one day, one week, one habit.  God made us whole in Christ, each on our own journeys towards the greater abundance He came to give. (see John 10:10).

There are no overnight successes in the Kingdom of God!  When you look back, you see the Hand of God working all along, bringing you to the right place, ready to receive.  However, the insidious tactic of the enemy is to make us think we should all be instant rock-stars of faith at the moment of salvation; no longer needing the grace of God because we are all perfect. The enemy of our hearts WANTS US only to focus on what needs to change because he knows, if we are grateful for what God has and is doing, his plan of destruction is already lost.

It is all too easy to try and jam our fingers into our brother's eye to dig out the speck and forget the logs God has surgically removed, with His instruments of gentleness and grace, from our own.

If I know one thing, though, this life is not a sprint.  It isn't even a marathon.  My pastor and dearest friend (and this week counselor), Christian Washington, pointed that out a few months back - our lives of faith are actually triathlons!  You might finish swimming, but then you have to get on the bike.  You get off the bike only to start running.  We are never "done in Christ," this side of eternity and to forget that is to forget our need for God - and then we start leaning too far into our own understanding.  

It doesn't mean we stop praying or encouraging change where it is needed.  Jesus met people where they were but never left them that way.  Jesus was the Master of knowing what kind of pressure - and where - to apply.  He rarely spoke a harsh word of rebuke to His Disciples.  There was that one time with Peter (Get behind Me satan...) but even then, that was to crowbar Peter out of his own understanding of what the Messiah was to do.  

In this week of "the lull," I have to keep in mind He is in charge and I am not.  When I try to make every week like last week, every day a mountaintop, trying to do Holy Spirit's work for Him, I will be disappointed.

We need the lulls to recover.  It doesn't mean we aren't doing anything.  Rather, we are taking the critical step of resubmitting ourselves to His direction.  When a farmer plants a field, much of the time it looks like nothing is happening, but the fruit is growing.  At the right time, those mountaintops will be revealed and all our labors will not have been in vain.  The harvest will be ready and ripe.  We will work side by side with the Lord and each other to reap it.  (See Galatians 6:9-10)

Until then, like Micah, in certain areas of my life, I watch in hope for the Lord.  I wait expectantly for God my Savior to come in fullness, to answer, to help.  The answers to our prayers enter our dimension when the time is right, but the Lord has already released them.  They are above and ahead of me.  I'm the one that has to catch up to the "Yes," of God.

So, in hopeful expectation of that YES...I will say AMEN.

2015: The Year of Prayer - Week 16

I opened my Bible this morning, kind of a shot in the dark, to John 6 - where Jesus walks on water, then declares (more than once....quite a few times actually) He is the Bread of Life.

This is one of those I AM statements which has been hard for me to grasp.  In fact, in the ensuing text, the statements Jesus makes and questions those statements raise are hard.  They were hard to hear for His Disciples and they are hard to hear now. But in light of the last 9 days, I'm starting to really get it.  You see, this week in prayer has been about miracles.  Our worship leader called that out on Tuesday of last week and they became real the very next night.

People delivered from the grip of sin and the enemy, filled with the Spirit of God.  Lives changed.  Love, healing, grace on full display.

It's one thing to hear about it and be amazed.  It is another thing entirely to be a participant in someone's healing - to be a witness.  If When you have the privilege to be a part of it - when you have surrendered the details and outcome of the work to the Lord and then just let Him do it....it changes you and your prayer life FOREVER.

It has not been hard to ask the Lord to do miracles in people's life in the last 9 days.  When, like in Acts 2, you are filled with awe....asking for big, bold things doesn't seem as hard anymore.  It makes your prayers (or at least mine) more specific, targeted and centered on the will of God.

No more lukewarm prayers.  It's time to ask Me for what you really want.

God gave me that word last Thursday morning.  I'd been dancing around asking for something really big for maybe 10 years.  I've known I'd been lacking in faith for it the last 2.  Last Thursday, He finally put me on the spot.


It was what Mark Batterson writes in The Circle Maker, "If Jesus were to meet you face-to-face and ask, “What do you want Me to do for you?,” what would you answer?  What would you dare to ask of Jesus….and have the confidence that it is something He wants to accomplish in and through you?

(No coincidence there I start teaching this premise of drawing circles in prayer on Sunday.....)

Very early, as I lay in bed that morning, I humbly but boldly asked God for the thing I most wanted Him to accomplish in my life.  I'm waiting to see the reality of it, but because it is His will (and I've seen His will accomplished innumerable times in my life, especially in dramatic ways here recently) - I KNOW THE ANSWER IS ALREADY YES.

The timing of reading John 6, like the time and place of Jesus' declaration He is the Bread of Life, is significant.  He is at a place where they needed faith, not miracles, to believe.  15 weeks into this journey and it feels like I'm to the place of assured faith and the miracles are the icing on the cake.  Maybe it is has taken this long to prepare me (although I don't always feel prepared or very capable of doing what He asks of me).  Maybe I'm finally full enough - on His Bread, His Way, His Nourishment - instead of depending solely on my own.

I do know one thing: Prayers are my legacy.  A lot of people don't feel like you are doing very much when you pray, but I want to assure you.....you are doing the most powerful thing in the universe.  When you pray about something or someone - especially when you pray in the Spirit - you are literally shaking the foundations of the spiritual atmosphere around you.  You are making room for the God of Heaven to come and make His Home on your plot of Earth.

I don't just pray, I expect God will continue to do bigger and betters things.  Not just because I've seen the miraculous in the last week.  But because I am, my family is, nothing short of a miracle.  It took many months/years for the miracle to be revealed.  We are living stones representing the grace and love of God.  Jesus has given/is giving me (and us) more than our fill, more than our share of spiritual, emotional, mental and physical blessings.  He has given us the entire package - Himself.

With Him running things, we will never go hungry.  Whoever believes in Him will never be thirsty.

Who else, in the history of the world, has dared to make such an audacious, bold, impossible declaration???  No One!


I'll leave you with this....maybe you are in a situation where your faith is sagging or you've prayed for something for years and it is like a big empty hole in your soul.  Take that prayer back to God and really listen.  Ask for eyes to see how He is filling you and answering that prayer.  Change your position (from sitting to on your knees....from on your knees to on your face on the floor); change the place where you pray.  Change something in your atmosphere, so you can be given a different perspective on what and how you are praying.

The Bread of Life will meet you there.  Jesus will satisfy you.  He promised and He never goes back on a promise.

Maybe you are my friend who doesn't pray, doesn't believe in God.  I ask you to give Christ another shot.  Don't lean into what you already know about Him or what you've seen of Him in the lives of others.  Really open yourself, not for a minute or a day, but for longer than you ever have.  Give the Lord some space, reserve a chair for Him at your proverbial breakfast/lunch/dinner table.

I'm praying you will experience Him in a way(s) that change your life - your eternity - forever.

He has yet to disappoint me.  I've thought He had but looking back on those moments of doubt, they were clouded by fear and uncertainty in my situation....not in God.  Keep praying, He will not delay.  My refuge and strength...I will not fear.  He promise is true.....ALWAYS.

2015: Year of Prayer - Week 1

I want to go to my next level of faith, with 2015 seeing answers to prayer like never before!...By prayer - I mean consistent communication with God.

Last week, I wrote a post about 2015 being my year of prayer and these two statements are the take-aways.  This post is the beginning of what (I hope) will be my documentation of how that aim is changing me over the next 52 weeks.  I've already been praying more than I was before - mostly because I am more aware of it than ever before.  I wouldn't say I was a slouch in the area of prayer in 2014 but because I was witness to the Lord answering prayers in wonderful ways, which really started to grab my attention.

It was like God grabbing my face and saying, "Look at what I'm doing here!" I figure it is best to pay closer attention.

It is clear to me how much time there is in the day.  I have jam-packed days like everyone else, there are a lot of creatures to care for in my life.  I used to be keenly aware of how little time I had in the day, especially for myself.  But now, as my thought life is being upgraded (I'll talk more about that in a second), I feel my attention drawn to this fact: there are copious amounts of sections during my day I could be at prayer.

I don't mean spending hours on my face in "formal" prayer.  Maybe I'll get there, if I submit enough to letting the Lord wake me up in the middle of the night (I'm working on it but not wholly surrendered, I assure you).  

I've come to realize the majority of the time my mind is engaged in relative neutral.  Usually when my body is doing something else: exercising, driving, washing dishes, or laundry, I've noticed I'm not really thinking of anything, or I'm running through my to do list.  Usually, though, I've found is my mind is focused on how I can get what I want for myself.

That last one hits hard.  I am now acutely, almost painfully aware of just how much I think about only myself: my wants, my needs, my desires....and how to get them.

When these minutes of my life tick by, I can never get them back.  Whether I've used them for good, evil or nothing in particular, they are gone with the wind.  If I've spent most of them on myself, thinking about my comfort, my feelings, my intentions, I'm not storing treasures up in heaven.  I am the center of my universe.  Not God, not Christ, not my family, not my church.  Not anyone but......ME.  The central line running across the movie screen of my brain is: MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME
MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME
MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME
MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME (ad nausem)

Convicting, is it not?

I didn't say this was going to be easy.  In any economy, you don't get something for nothing.  Certainly, you don't get a better/stronger/more effective spiritual (or physical, emotional, relational for that matter) life without having to pay for it.  You have to pay to play.  You have to become aware the Cross is on the floor in order to pick it up.

It simply comes down to a transfer of minutes.  I must move some of my currency (of time) out of the "ME," account into the "PRAYER" account.  Fortunately, this kind of transfer will get me somewhere.  I think I'll get moved out of neutral (or in some cases going backward) in a few areas of my life.  That's not the end goal, but it sure is encouraging!

This week, I've been trying to move minutes around.  This isn't happening in ways anyone else would really notice.  For instance:

• Instead of thinking about how I wish I was already finished when I exercise, I've been praying for healing for my friends and family with health issues; praising God for being so close to them during this time. 
• When I'm lying down with Ella in her new big girl bed, instead of being annoyed she is flopping around like a fish, I've been praying for her to get some rest; thanking God I can be at home with her. 

Here's a few I just thought of:

• When I'm washing dishes, instead of being frustrated there is no one else around to do this loathsome chore, I'll be asking God to help my friend stay in her marriage; grateful He saved mine.
• When I'm folding laundry, instead of watching TV, I'll be asking the Lord to clearly guide my husband who is hard at work; thanking the Lord for His immense favor towards us. 
• When I have a few moments of quiet, instead of checking social media, I'll be praying for the next words (and time) to write in my book; remembering He gave me something important to say.  
• When I'm walking the dog, instead of wishing she would hurry up and do her business, I'll be praying for Natalie and Sophia; praising Him for blessing them with love for Him at such young ages. 
• When I'm driving, instead of tuning out the world, I'll be praying for my church and the world. 

I'm confident it will not stop there.  Prayer is something God loves for us to do, so when you work to take it seriously, the opportunities start popping up like popcorn.  

I pray in all kinds of ways.  I can be loud, especially when I'm in praise mode and singing.  I can be quieter when I'm speaking in English or my prayer language.  There are times when I just picture the words in my head as I'm saying them, trusting the Lord sees them too.  My eyes leak pretty often, (especially when I'm grateful) so I count my tears as prayers.  I can even let the motion of my hands be my prayer.  Or merely breathing in more of Christ in, as I breathe myself out.

Photo of ceiling of Sistine Chapel, was literally above me

Earlier, I mentioned that "thought upgrade."  Here it is, from the Apostle Paul in Colossians 3:1-2,

Seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.

I read that on Tuesday.  It sparked the idea in me to wonder how much time I waste thinking about things "on the earth," instead of "things which are above, where Christ is."  Reminds me of a song my friend, Ms. Janice, loves to sing: 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

I hope you can find more time this week to pray, as we begin our year-long journey prayer.

P.S.: Not coincidentally (of course), today during church our pastor challenged us to pray, on our knees for 5 minutes for the next 7 days, using the "Examine" method.  That's where you review your day, looking for the things that took life from you and the things that brought life into you.  Then, of course, you give each of those to God, thanking Him and asking Him for help.


Look likes I got another 5 minutes each day added to my "Prayer" account!

2015: The Year of Prayer

There is something going on. It's a very good thing.

Sparked by an idea yesterday I'm sure has been germinating in my heart for awhile - I decided to make and post this meme to Facebook:

 It is based on Jesus' statement in Matthew 7:13, You can enter God's Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.

Later Jesus calls Himself the gate in John 10:9 and ultimately declaring He is the (only) Way, the (only) Truth and the (only true) Life in John 14:6.  Pretty bold commentary to have to dismiss.  He was either a liar, a lunatic or the Lord.  Take your pick!

The picture in this meme is a street in Urbino, Italy.  I took it in 2013 for no particular reason, other than it was a cool.  Yet, as I was thinking yesterday morning about what 2015 would mean for me, the Lord reminded me of the above verses and how I had a good descriptive shot of what He meant when He said those words.  Along with the meme I wrote,

I want to go to my next level of faith, with 2015 seeing answers to prayer like never before! I know it is the best way to go, even if it is the harder, more narrow way. Jesus is the way and praising Him never fails to reveal how He is working. Maybe this is your New Year's Challenge.

The way of Christ is tight-fitting.  It is not meant to be loose or lax.  It doesn't look like what the rest of the world is doing.  These clothes feel different, meant to fit us like a glove, literally keeping us on the straight and narrow road of conformation to His image (the one we were created in).  

The only way to stay true to that - for the clothes to fit so to speak - is to remember we are not obligated to be like our old worldly selves any longer.  We aren't meant to think, reason or respond like everyone else.  (Romans 8:1-17) The best way to remember we have different options than what seems obvious....is in prayer.

By prayer - I mean consistent communication with God.  It doesn't have to always be out loud, on your face or hands-raised-in-worship; at any particular time of day.  Anything thought or felt in His direction at any time, for me, counts as prayer.  Remember, too, there is prayer that is about listening, more than speaking.

There are no limits on how to pray - song, silence, early morning, late at night, reading the Bible or Christian books; praising God, crying out to Him; dreaming, awake.  You name it, He will take our expressions of faith.  He even takes the expressions we don't do well - making them acceptable via the Holy Spirit's intercession (Rom 8:26).

The challenge I sent out is simple: in 2015 - pray more.  I want (and want for you too) the type of prayer life the Apostle Paul was talking about in 2 Corinthians 11:28-29: Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?

For 2015 to be THE YEAR OF PRAYER, we must engage with Our Father first, letting Him heal our brokenness; restore our lack of faith; redeem the mistakes we've made.  We are to be honest with Him and let Him be honest with us.

Going farther, we must pray (and be honest) with each other.  We must feel the daily pressure of concern for the Body of Christ - locally and globally.  We must work to repair the disconnect in our denominations.  We've got to pray for strength for those who feel weak and exhort those led into sin back into the way of righteousness.

The key to this (and everything else) is love.  Prayer is love thought, spoke, sung, written, felt and done with our hands and feet.  Prayer is the deepest expression of care for God, ourselves and others.

Prayer is the way to stay on The Way.  It is the GPS system that will guide us along the narrow way.  Prayer is the main thing.  Let's keep the main thing the main thing.

I challenge you to join me in making 2015 the year of prayer.  More prayer, more connection, more love.  Let's walk this narrow path together, friends.  I hope you will join me!

Bookmark and share out this page.  Retweet or repost.  Use the hashtag #2015yearofprayer.  Write your comments and document your prayer experiences on your own social media sites.

I can't wait to see what the Lord is going to do when we take His command to abide in Him seriously!  What an exciting year this will be!

Christmas Hypocrite (No More)

We "Church Regulars" tend to make fun of those who only go to church on "Big" Days.  I know  because I'm one of those who's done it.  The ridiculous fact of the matter is I'm a hypocrite because I only used to go on Christmas and Easter.  But now I judge people for it.  Sad.

It's only been 11 years since that change.  Ironically, my re-salvation came from the lips of someone calling me a hypocrite.  My boss at the time, in a moment of frustration over my behavior in a meeting, pointed the proverbial finger at me and called me a hypocrite for claiming the name of of Christ and having none of His character.  This was truly a case of, when accused of being a Christian, there was no evidence to convict me.

I thank God He removed that identity a few painful hours later.  I felt (more than heard) Jesus ask me if I wanted to stop being a hypocrite and live up to the name I claimed.  I said yes and all I can tell you is something shifted in me - down to the very core of my being.  I got a new life, a new identity...His.  It hasn't been easy to figure out what that looks like, but it is a reality, as imperfectly as I sometimes demonstrate it to be.

Reflecting on that, my heart is stirred this morning by a Facebook post from my pastor, Christian Washington.  He shared out the original post by our "Big" Church, Chapelwood UMC.  It is a prayer from the perspective of those who don't go to church very often.  I included it at the end.

It makes no difference how many times you come to church because families aren't built on quantity.  They are built on the quality of love and blood-ties.  In the Church, we have both: the love of Christ and His shed blood makes us one with Him and His Father.  It is similar to this: I don't see my brother, Craig, every week, but that doesn't change the fact that he is MY BROTHER AND I LOVE HIM.

You are no less family even if we see you once or twice a year.

In the Body of Christ, we should be the MOST grateful for those we don't see often.  We should treat them like we miss them, so maybe they will want to come more often!  Yet, what usually happens is, we judge those visitors the harshest (even if, like me, we were once like them.)  We have all been prodigals - traveling towards a moment of realization that home is better than our present circumstances.  But us "older, more responsible brothers" tend to get our noses in a twist.  (See Luke 15:28-29 here.)

In the craziness of this world, the times we live in, the confluence of events happening in our nation and world, you never know what is going to motivate someone to enter (or re-enter) a relationship with Christ.  The best rule of thumb is always to pour the love on thick.  That is what Jesus would do.  It is what He has always done.  If we are to accurately celebrate His birth and future return, we best do it with love in our hearts for fellow man, not hatred because they don't live up to our standards.

To those who don't go to church often - if you have ever felt judged by stares, glares or even a nasty comment or two, please forgive us "regulars." I include myself in that plea.  We are imperfect people, obviously in need grace because we don't have it right yet, even if we think we do.  Forgive us our trespasses against you.

To those who do go to church often - do some heart-house-cleaning if you tend to judge others.  It hurts you more than them.  It hurts them too and it is not God's best for anyone.  Scoot to the middle of aisle, smile at everyone and bask in the glory of Your God.  He knows you well and He loves you more than you can imagine.

I prayed this back in November, but I hope the Lord makes this holiday season....different.  I hope He changes us in ways that leave us different for the rest of the year.  I hope His Presence is tangible in every Christmas Eve service, in every candle lit, in every song sung and in every word prayed or preached.

You are loved.  You are family.  And we are glad to see you.  Hosanna in the Highest! 

A Christmas Eve Prayer for Those Who Don't Attend Church - by Bishop Ken Carter
I don’t go to church very often, Lord.
I don’t go at all…well, I am here at Christmas.
I’m home then. I feel drawn to it.
I like the Christmas Eve service.
The coolness of the air,
the aroma of the candles,
the familiarity of gathering with strangers.
I feel like a kid again.
It’s surreal.

I know it’s common to make fun of people like me.
What can I say? I’ve drifted…
But something pulls me back
Are You speaking to me?

I connect with something in the sermon, sometimes,
but mostly it’s the music and the candles.
What is it about the candles?
Darkness and light.
Light and darkness.

I know about light and darkness. I live in both.
I’ve got some of both in me.
And yet there is an impulse,
a movement to be closer to the light.
And so the flame of a stranger touches mine
and I sing the chorus,

Son of God, love’s pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face…

That is the light, the face, the life I seek,
and in this moment, I am touching it.
And then a voice reminds me,
in the echo of ancient words
that are always needed,

the light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness did not overcome it.

I am speaking to you, Lord,
but on this night, from every conceivable direction,
you are speaking to me.

And I am listening.

The How: The Simple Disciplines of Gratitude & Praise (Growing in Faith Series)

A couple of weeks ago, I started a series and this continues the thread.  This is the How of the Who, What, When, Where, Why of faith.  I like that is happens to fall in Thanksgiving Week.  It fits.  (In the first post, I covered the What, you can read that here.)

I'm a personal believer in the power of gratitude, especially as commanded in Scripture.*  But as I grow in faith, I've discovered something remarkable.  Gratitude is the root of the fruit of the Spirit we think of as Joy.  Have you ever met a sour-faced joyful person?  No way!  Grateful people are smiling.  They freely sing, dance, give, serve, study and all those other things we should do as Christians.  Freely being the keyword here.

In fact, the people you know who have the deepest well of joy have learned, through literal trial and much error, to be thankful in all situations.  Giving thanks and praising God has set them free from the weight of sin, from death.  They know these two simple practices have immense power, and are perhaps our greatest weaponry on the spiritual battlefield.**

It might seem a bit shallow to say gratitude and praise are the biggest guns in our arsenal.  We've been taught to go deep in study, prayer, service, giving.  We feel we must start an orphanage across the globe.  These are all very good things, and I wish we all did more of them.  But there is a fundamental problem - we often don't have the purest intentions when we do them.  They tend to be about us and what we do for God, rather than freely (again that word) giving without expectation of anything in return.

That issue hits home in a a book I'm writing called The Jesus Rule, based on Christ's answer to the question: what is the greatest commandment?  He answers pretty simply, quoting Deuteronomy 6 and tacking on Leviticus 19, to create the be-all-end-all commandment to please the Lord.  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.

Christ says that 3 times in 3 Gospels: Matthew 22:37-39, Mark 12:28-31 and Luke 10:25-28.  You know if God repeats something three times, we better listen.  Those red-letter words support my point: Jesus was never about what we do for God.  He was about experiencing God by letting He Who is love transform you and those around you.  I submit to you now: the shortest distance between God's love and experiencing it is gratitude and praise.

That's why I call them disciplines because they should be practiced daily, if not hourly.  That looks like saying "Thank You, Lord;" like saying grace before a meal, but not only then.  We should be saying grace over everything.  We should be declaring (out loud) Who God is and What He has done/is doing/will do.  Stormie Omartian, in The Prayer That Changes Everything, writes these wros on the very first page of the introduction,

If prayer is communicating with God, then the purest form of prayer is worship and praise.  That's because it focuses our minds and hearts entirely away from ourselves and onto Him.

If praise is our vertical beam of the Cross, then gratitude is our horizontal.  Gratitude is how we demonstrate His power and work in our lives.  They are two halves of the whole.  In them, we meet the Lord, coming to a greater, fuller understanding of Who He is.  Our love for Him will grow wildly as a result.

Trust me when I tell you this because I've been practicing it for awhile: When you truly praise God; when you are truly thankful for Him - you will find what you've been missing in your faith walk.  If you are struggling to get closer to God, to feel His Presence more, these two active truths are the keys to opening the door of your heart to Him.  Maybe you are struggling with sin, with a diagnosis, with money problems, with your kids (whatever).....it is time to bust out your big guns of thanksgiving and worship.

Jesus told the Samaritan Woman at the Well in John 4, there will come a day when the place we worship doesn't matter, but instead the position of our hearts.  We will worship in spirit AND in truth.

For it’s not where we worship that counts, but how we worship—is our worship spiritual and real? Do we have the Holy Spirit’s help? For God is Spirit, and we must have his help to worship as we should. The Father wants this kind of worship from us. (v. 22-23, TLB)

The fastest way to have the kind of relationship the Father wants is to praise and thank His Son through His Spirit.  

Quote from Watchman Nee

This are very simple practices, truly.  No theology degrees required.  Yet, when we practice them, they will become our greatest witness to the world of the love and power of Christ: to save, heal, deliver, provide and set free.  They usher in the Kingdom of God right in our own hearts, right here at our desks or where we are on our phones.  Gratitude and Praise bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth: in your house, car, workplace, school, neighborhood, gym and especially in your church.

We have such a tendency to be what the Bible calls "double-minded."  We think about God on one half of our brain, but the other half is all about ourselves: what we are feeling; what we think is right; what others are doing/have done to us; what we will eat next; what we will wear next, etc.  The Lord wants us to be singularly focused on Him, which is why The Jesus Rule makes sense.  Jesus always started with God, so we must start there. 

A.W. Tozer called Psalm 103 "God's Pitch Pipe."***  If you know anything about music, a pitch pipe is used to get a choir in tune.  Psalm 103 is a great place to start, but you can just keep going through Psalm 109 (or just go through most of the Psalms, if not all).  Worship and Thanksgiving will not only build your faith, in them you will get eyes and ears to experience the Lord in real-time. There is no better easier week in America, no more acceptable time in our calendar year, to be grateful for the vast blessings we have.  

Take Thanksgiving Week one more step further.  Call it Thanks & Praise Week.  Be grateful and praise God for it.  Let Him get your spirit in tune with His.  Let this holiday season be different because it is marked by what really pleases the Lord: Not good works, not giving, not getting along with your relatives, but gratitude and praise of His name.

*For your study, here are some references to commands from Scripture to be grateful: Psalm 50:14; Psalm 100:4; Psalm 107:22; Psalm 116:17; Isaiah 51:3; Mark 8:6; Luke 22:17; Romans 1:21; 1 Corinthians 15:57; 1 Thessalonians 5:18; Philippians 4:4,6,8-9; Revelation 7:12

**So you know, the enemy can't get to you when you are thankful and full of praise.  It expels him from the area because you are submitting to the Lord.  He has to flee.  So, if you are experience some spiritual warfare, break out your shofar (that's a reference to a horn the Hebrews often used going into battle and it's purpose is to praise God).  You've got one, right there in your throat.  Shout your praise to God - thank Him with all your might.  Then you will see the very atmosphere of the room change.  I know this for a fact too.

***Thank you to my precious, dearest friend and mentor, Janice Heffer Wright, for telling me A.W. Tozer's comment during a sermon she heard him preach (in person!) so long ago.  I have never forgotten it!