Risk it all for a chance at the ultimate prize!
That's what a game show is, right? Put yourself on the line and, pending the right answer, a handsome reward awaits. Maybe you have to jump through some hoops, but it certainly requires stretching beyond the limits of your intelligence and strength - and in a very short window of time.
That has what my life of faith has felt like since August.
First, I had to answer if I trusted God to provide for our physical needs.
Then, I had to trust He would provide for my spiritual needs after He asked me to leave my weekly Bible Study, so I could spend more focused time in study & writing.
Then there was if I trusted Him to provide for my writing & speaking career.
Then came the $64 million question.
Did I trust Him with Sophia's life?
There are a thousand corollaries to that particular question including Do I trust Him to care for all of us throughout this process as well?
It is the ultimate challenge of surrender. Do I try and fix things myself or do I trust Him to present the opportunities His Way.
The most recent example of this was the news, today, that Sophia's white blood cell counts are as close to zero as possible without technically being zero. It is a side effect of the chemo, but it puts her at great risk for fever & infection - which if happens, lands her in the hospital for 48 hours or more.
All with Thanksgiving right around the corner, which means family in the house.
We could cancel having everyone over. I could beat myself up for the extended play date Sunday with another family whose kids had been sick earlier last week. I could spend the next 36 hours sterilizing everything in the house and quarantine us all for the next 5 days.
Some or all of this could happen. The Wheel of Fortune always hits a "Bankrupt" spot eventually.
But even the most down and out players know that you have to keep in mind the goal - to win it all.
Genesis 15:1 declares the ultimate prize is The Lord Himself. But right before that revelation of divine "Yahtzee!", Abraham gets clear direction. DO NOT FEAR.
That is what He really wants - right? So much of His presence in our hearts and minds that there is no room for fear. Feels like, though, we are in the season finale of Fear Factor. My choice is to walk away, lose it all, or close my eyes and leap - trusting He will catch us one more time. And we will go home with the gold.
He is chipping away at these bonds of fear because they are the chains that bind me to the Earth. I cannot have more of Him when I'm kissing the ground. I need to be looking Heavenward, and risk it all on one more roll of the dice. We will win, in the end. However this game of life plays out, we are truly victors.
But one more time, in the heat of the moment, with everything on the line and all the audience on the edge of their seat, it's time for the final answer.
Yes, Lord, I trust You.