Tuesday, March 20, 2012

TPT4KC This Week!

I read something really personal yesterday morning.  I was going through all the "notes" on my phone.  I use that app for anything from my grocery store list (I love deleting items as I put them in my cart!) to notes to be used later in posts/articles/books.  I have to confess, my iPhone is now at such a status that I can't imagine being without it.  Forbid having to use a pen and paper again!

As I was cleaning up the entries, I ran across one I did in May of 2011.  I was waiting for Sophia to wake up from an MRI and it was taking longer than normal because the anesthesia cocktail was a bit different (and the longer wake up was to be expected).  So, as I sat there watching her sleep, it hit me just how much I hate waiting.  I've gotten a lot better at it, given the nature of the treatment process, but that doesn't mean I like it any more.  When I wrote these thoughts, we were 7 months until the process and it occurred to me how silly it was to put these feelings down then, rather than in the beginning when an extended period in the clinic caused me panic attacks.  But as I read them yesterday, it struck me as one of the universal truths of cancer; or any serious illness.  

You just have to learn how to wait.

So, I thought I would share my musing with you, they are the closest thing I have to a diary.  I hope it encourages you as it did me that these thoughts are important to record - to remind me just how far we've come.

Some of my worst moments are while I wait.  She is sleeping but I am waiting...for her to wake up, or a nurse, or meds, or overall healing.  Waiting is the most difficult part.  Waiting means I, indeed our situation, is in a state of suspended animation.  There is nothing to be done except either talk to myself, or to God.  

Both could get me looked at funny but at least when I talk to God, I am telling someone besides myself what is going on in my heart & mind.  And He is Someone Who can do something about it. If I just talk myself, I am no better than a dog chasing it's tail and just as foolish.
Waiting, while the worst of options, presents me the opportunity (wanted or not) to rest in Him.  That maybe why it is so hard for me.  But "Waiting on The Lord" is mentioned 25 times in scripture, so it must be a crucial discipline.  And obviously something He is giving me unlimited opportunities to practice.  Makes me think He knows how much I need the practice.
He has promised that He is carrying her and is leading me.  He knows she is not strong enough to walk in her own yet and I do not know the way.  So He must carry and lead.  Mother no wiser than daughter - I am a caregiver no more healed than my precious patient.  Both of us are in need of only one thing - wholeness.  He is the only one source for it.
It's not the chemo or radiation that will wipe this cancer from her body.  It is not the doctors or nurses or specialists that have healed her.  In the end - it has been the waiting that has done it.  Ironically the thing I hate the most is my greatest ally.  I've got to learn the power of His mighty Arm, which doesn't move at my speed.   

But He is working so I will keep waiting.

Let us pray because PRAYER WORKS! 

Completed Treatment - Pray for them to stay cancer and illness free!
Sophia Vogel (5, soft tissue sarcoma behind left eye) – <"Team Sophia" on FB>
Anna Grace Dennis (7, ependymoma) – Headaches still attacking, please pray for complete relief!! <"Team Anna Grace" on FB>
Rylee Beard (5, Will's tumors in bladder/abdomen) – Scans were all clear last week, PTL!
Matthew Lucas (5, Rhabdomyosarcoma) – Doing great! <"Team Matthew" on FB>
Gabbie Howe (12, ependymoma)  
Grant McTaggart (5, P+ ALL)  <http://www.prayforgrant.com/
Callie Cheer (3, AML) – Gaining weight and still in remission! <”Cure for Callie” on FB> 
Hunter (1, Ewing Sarcoma) – <”Cure Baby Hunter” on FB> - has a virus and mouth sores, but released and being treated at home.  Pray for full recovery!!
Nicky George (2, Ependymoma) – www.nickybear.com
Courtney Pette (16, lymphoma) –<"Team Courtney" on FB>
Maddie Briscoe (7, neuroblastoma) –<”Prayers for Maddie Briscoe” on FB> 
Patton Jones (3, Burkitt's Lymphoma) – Coming up on monthly check up – pray everything is still going great!  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/pattonjones
Natalie Fraker (5, astrocytoma) – Pray for her strength to return, especially in her lungs, to get to breathing without a vent!(physically especially)<” PRAYERSFORNKF” on carepages.com> 
Tristan Smit (3, ependymoma) – Doing well!
Mark Ochoa (2, Wilm's Tumor)

With The Lord (Please pray for their families)
Ruel Bobet – Continue to pray for his family, they need strength only The Lord can provide! <”Sandy Bobet” (his Mom) on FB>
Kory Krowell – Passed away on 11/18/11

Fighting Illness and/or Inpatient 
Brennan Scurlock (1, neuroblastoma) – Much wisdom and intervention is needed in figuring out the best course of treatment for Brennan.  Please pray for an advocate for his medical needs as well as an encourager for his family.  Pray The Lord will show His mighty Arm to be at work for this sweet boy! <"Brennan Scurlock" on FB> 

Kaylee Atkins (6, ALL) – Still fighting a fever and inpatient.  Pray for her recovery as well as her little brother, who is also sick! <”Praying for Kaylee” on FB>
Carli Simmons (2, Brain Tumor) Inpatient at TCH, receiving treatment
Eli Dirr (5, Relapse of AML) – Getting his port put in today, as well as bone marrow biopsy and starting chemo.  This is a very tough time, finding out that his cancer is back – pray for the strength of his body to fight it off and the strength of his family to walk this path again!

In Treatment
Devin Duncan (18, Leukemia) – pray she is fully recovered and continue her treatment without any interruption or illness! <”Devin Duncan” on FB>
Lucy Weber (3, ALL) – Home and doing better; pray for her clinic visit to go well this week, with no count issues or side effects from the chemo. <"Team Lucy" on FB> 
Katie Wagner (15, Rhabdomyosarcoma) They are waiting on her scan results to come back – pray for excellent response to her treatment! <Wagner Family support” on FB>
Logan Sinclair (5, Anaplastic Medulloblastoma) – Clinic appointment today, please pray for good levels! <”Pray for Logan Sinclair” on FB> 
Nate Dinoffira (2, Neuroblastoma) Doing great – pray for no infections, side effects or anything else that will derail his healing!<http://supernatedinoffria.blogspot.com/>
Max Low (12, Leukemia) Pray for recovery and great results from last week’s inpatient admission and tests! <”Mighty Max Low” on FB>
Lexie Synder (5, ALL) Home and doing better; pray for her field trip tomorrow and continued recovery! <”Lexie vs. Leukemia” on FB>
Thomas Valerio (11, rhabdomyosarcoma in left hand) Pray he will be protected from illness and no delays in the last 3 chemo rounds before he finishes treatment!
Raelynn (5, ALL) Pray she has recovered from her last big round of chemo and she stays illness free! <”Prayers for our Sweet Baby Rae” on FB>
Liam Wilson (1, neuroblastoma) Halfway through his treatment, pray it continues to go well with no delays! <”Prayers for Liam Wilson” on FB>
Layton (3, ALL) Pray all went well from her last chemo round and that she recovers quickly with no pain! <”Prayers for Layton” on FB>
Lincoln Daniel Jones (3, ALL) – Had a short visit at the clinic yesterday with chemo, pray for no ill effects and a great week free of pain! <"Pray for Lincoln Daniel Jones" and "Red Carpet Kids for a Cure" on FB> 
Lance McClain (ALL) – Got chemo yesterday and is on steroids.  Pray for a smooth week, with no issues!<”TeamLance McClain” on FB> 
Ava Caggino (4, ATRT Brain Tumor) Praise for her birthday party and pray she continues to recover and results say she is finished! <"The Ava Caggino Fight Aganist Cancer Page" on FB> 
Charlie Harris Beard (1, Leukemia) Doing well, pray he continues! <”Help save Baby Charlie Harries Beard” on FB> 
Preston Winslow (4, AML) Please pray for the strength of this little boy and his family and that they would be surrounded by God’s unfailing love and hope!   www.prestonsleague.com
Aiden Rideout (4, Non-hodgkins lymphoma) Had a great trip to Texas, pray for a great week! <”Prayers for Aiden” on FB>
Victoria Feldman (6, Medulloblastoma) Had MRI last week and everything is all clear! <”Victory4Victoria” on FB>
Tynan Chapa (5, ALL) Clinic visit this week, pray for good counts and no issues! <”Tynan’s Crusade” on FB>
Wyatt Foster (2, ALL) Going in for chemo on Friday – pray there are answers on his ANC and everything goes well.  Also pray for his Mom’s health issues to be resolved!  <http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/wyattfoster/mystory>
Kristina Barrett (9, sarcoma in lungs and arm) – Continues to do well, keep praying! <"Praying for Kristina" on FB> 
Barrett Blake (5, Rhabdomyosarcoma) Pray for good health, no issues, quick recover and to stay on course with treatment!  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/barrettblake
Holden Underwood (2, ALL/MLL) – Finally well enough to start back on daily, oral chemo.  Pray he doesn’t get sick again and for no side effects! <"Holden's Hope" on FB> 
Gunnar Peterson (5, Wilm’s Tumor) Last chemo tomorrow!  Pray all goes well! <”Gunnar’s Team on FB”> 
Aiden McSpadden (3, AML relapse) Still doing well but need his blood chimerism to go up to 100% from 92%!  Please pray for that! <"Angels for Aiden" on FB> 
Zayley Oliver – <”Prayers for Zayley Jade Oliver” on FB> 
Addison Marshall (18, ALL) – continues outpatient, maintenance chemo!  <addiecake on Twitter
Izzy Slot (3, angiosarcoma) Still cancer free, pray for full recovery! <”izzyslot” on carepages.com and “Princess Izzy’s Court” on FB> 
Shelby Adams (Langenhans Cell Histiocytosis) – Pray her eye appointment went well and that her orbital bone will heal itself! <”Prayers for Shelby Adams” on FB>
Daniela Owens (9, Ewing Sarcoma) – Tumors are spreading and causing her a lot of pain.  Pray for her release from this cancer! <”Prayer for Daniela” of FB> 
Braeden Estes (18, Ewings Sarcoma) Doing well so please pray he stays on track! <http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/braedenestes>
Taylor Porter (15, AML) <”Team Taylor – Taylor Porter” on FB> 
Kaylea Stewart (ALL, 6) –<"Kure for Kaylea" on FB> 
Hudson Kadlecek (4, lymphoma) - <"Hope for Hudson" on FB> 
Logan Brant - Please pray for wisdom and healing!  <“Team Logan” on FB>
Kylie Overton (2, Brain Tumor) – <”Prayers for Baby Kylie Overton” on FB> 

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