Thursday, September 13, 2012

Out of the Ashes

You never know when the Lord is going to hit you with His message for you that day.  I certainly hear a lot Him when I read Jesus Calling, but I also hear Him in Contemporary Christian music.

This morning, during my quiet time, I felt a nudge to ask to see His power today.  I had an experience, in particular, several years ago when His power overwhelmed me.  He made me stop in the middle of running down the street in the pre-dawn hours and talk to this high school freshman walking to school.  I was moved to pray for her actually.  It was incredible - like He put up a brick wall, I literally could not take another step forward.  I had to turn back and engage with this special girl.

Today, I asked to experience that again - to be so powerfully reminded of His majesty and dominion.  I tell you what, when you pray for that, you never know what is going to happen.  Certainly I am not discounting this is the ONLY thing that will happen today, but I can say it was enough to drive me to my knees in worship.

I was walking around my neighborhood and had already been greatly moved by the music I was listening to.  There are times when I like to be my own DJ, so the next song I put on was Stephen Curtis Chapman's "Beauty Will Rise."  I love that song - I identify with it so much because it is about a time of intense pain his family went through; how God would remember them and bring beauty out of the ashes of the tragedy.  Yes, you could say I really get that.

So, I'm walking down the street when I see a guy out watering his front lawn.  And he is holding a baby - probably 6-9 months.  Not a teeny baby but a chubby bunny, and he was just content to be sitting there on Daddy's arm watering the lawn with him.  It was during this confluence of events of that sight, the music and my emotional/spiritual state that God spoke.  Ok, not so much spoke, but more like lifted the veil off my eyes.  It was like I was seeing a beautiful future point of time when my husband would also be holding a baby, doing normal things.  It was a magnificent vision that my words can't even begin to communicate the meaning of.

That could seem like mere coincidence to you, but I have not believed in "it just so happens" for a long time.  Beyond all of that - one line rang out was I looked at this man and his son:

 And if you can't believe, I will believe for you
Cause I have seen the signs of spring
Just watch and see

Then, the little baby waved at me!  I nearly broke down, I am so glad I chose to wear sunglasses this morning!  It was like God was saying:

You want to see my power, then I'm going to let you, dear daughter, see what I see of the future I am building for you!!

That vision, that promise is coming to life, a promise of a baby to complete our family - in a way we never thought we needed!  It was so majestic, so big, so beyond anything I could ever hope for.  This baby, this trip to Italy, this life we've lived for the last 5 years has not been "in our plan."  Yes, we've been open to it, but none of this came about by our hand.

God's plan has turned out so much better than ours ever would.

I can't say that I think this baby, or this overseas assignment is a reward for our faith.  I don't know if God works that way.  But today was clear, if I didn't already know it, I do now - this life, our family, is blessed.  He has taken us out of the winter of our suffering and discontent.  I can finally see the greenery of Spring peeking out from under the cover of snow.  I know it will not be the only time He takes us through the darkness into the light. 

For now, I'm going to be humbled by His grace, power and love for us.  Us - who deserve little to none of it.

Beauty will rise - yes, it already has.  Thank You Lord!

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