The Universal Proverbs of Motherhood

There are certain aspects of being a Mom that are universal.  We all sound the same when we say, "C'mon, honey."  I heard a Mom say it in Spanish this morning.  It wasn't just the words she said, it was the way she said it. 

We all wipe off our kids faces.  We all try to kiss them, even after they've gotten past the age they will let us.  We never stop worrying/caring/thinking about them and their future.  My own mother assures me this is true.

Yet, there are certain aspects of this noble calling we could never be prepared for when we entered into this sacred space of being MOM (and yes, DAD too.)  Those things don't depend on how our kids were born, or even who bore them.  They are not age or quantity of children specific or dependent on how well the kid eats.  Some stuff just is because you live in a house with children.

I'm not sure if these are Facebook status updates that need an outlet, or a book in the works.   But I am confident you can add to the list, so please do.  I have three future moms in my house, so I want to make sure they are prepared.....as much as possible for this crazy ride we get on when we become mothers. 

1. Obviousness has nothing to do with being locatable. 
2. There is a certain Feng-shui to a diaper bag.  It is a thing of beauty and peace when packed correctly.  But that work of art has a lifespan, which is the time it takes to walk from the house to the car.
3. There is always (at least) one child who tests the limits of the Chaos Theory with their chest of drawers or closet (or both). 
4. A neatly folded and orderly laundry basket has no bearing on which child ends up with those clothes.  
5. It is possible to wash all of one child's underwear and none of their socks and all of another child's socks but none of their underwear in a week's worth of laundry.
6. Everyone is so much happier on a trip of any duration when Daddy's "stuff" is in an independent bag rather than trying to force him to sort through four piles of female "stuff." (Ok, that could just be my family, but you get the idea.)
7. The amount of time you just spent holding a baby is completely unrelated to the amount of time they want you to hold them.
8. Children will always ask Mom if they can have a snack/go play outside/swim/etc, even if they are sitting on Dad's lap.
9. It is impossible to explain the logic behind underwear to a 10 year old.
10. Third children are so easy going because they have to be.  They are so extremely tough.  And they like their siblings best.
11. The smaller the human, the greater amount of materials they require.  (Thanks to Shannon Frederick for this one!!)
12. The baby always gets fussy when Daddy walks in from work.
13. Great ideas do not mean good implementation, especially any game related to bikes, skateboards, swimming pools and even adventure races.
14. Lists are the best coping mechanism God has given us.
15. Bathrooms may provide the happy place you are seeking,
16. Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but sometimes a nap instead of cleaning is heavenly.
17. Safety is best enforced, although generally it is also the most argued.
18. Sometimes, you just have to be absent when a need arises to be appreciated.
19. When something is resting on the stairs, it is invisible.  Especially if that something is supposed to be upstairs in the first place.  (Thanks to a Dad, Chris Archinal, for this one!!)
20. It is a well-known fact that your job as a parent is to say no.  Another equally well-known fact is it's the grandparent's job to say yes.
21. You can tell how well you've spent your time by how many smiles and hugs you've gotten in a day.