We watch a lot of Disney movies. In a house of three girls, I'm sure that's a shocking revelation. We used to be all princesses, all the time, but Sophia grew out of it. Actually, I think post-treatment, when her struggle became synonymous with her love of princesses, she got self-conscious.
I guess I can't blame her, it is on the back of the t-shirts bearing her Team name.
Anyway.....back to the present tense. Princesses are making a come back. Why? Well, Little Bit of course. Not that we really truly left them behind; we own a copy of all of the Disney princess movies, except for Princess and the Frog. (Not sure why we don't have that one.) But the early princess movies are shorter - which makes them ideal for little bitties, like Ella Grace, to watch.
Ok, she doesn't really watch them yet. She dances to the opening and closing music, then wanders off to do her thing: make the house as messy as she possibly can, at her short stature. Occasionally, she will wander back in, sit on one of her sister's laps for a minute, then go back to her mess-making business.
Yesterday morning, I put on Sleeping Beauty. I tell you what, that is a princess life I can get behind. Beauty, can sing, pretty clever ("I am sixteen after all!") AND you get to sleep for a hundred years. In case you didn't know, I love to sleep. Since having children and growing older, however, I don't sleep as much or as well as I used to. I still love it. It's my besetting sin. Truly.
After Sleeping (which-I-wish-I-was), I put on Cinderella. Most days, I feel more like this lady; lots of cleaning and other menial servitude, but I do get a whole lot more thanks, even if I get less fairy godmother action.
During the mini-princess-film-fest, something struck me. What these gals are singing about, what they want more than anything in the world, is to be loved. They want to be rescued, sure, but more than that, they want to be found and to be known. They want to be valued above all else - to feel worthy and worth the effort. They want true love.
Before you say, "Well, duh!," let it sink in. As I sat there, on Sunday morning before church, it hit me: that's why I'm in the relationships I am in (including a relationship with Christ). Love is why I got married and had kids. It is also why I get mad or isolate myself from people in my house sometimes - because when the situation starts to feel "unloving," I might leave the room or lash out. Strike first to save myself any real pain. (That's a big crock, by the way. Strike first doesn't work for governments or for stay-at-home-Moms.)
And now, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella? Those ladies are showing me what it means to be vulnerable - hearts on the outside of the chests. They are singing, dancing, not even remotely afraid they will never find love. In fact, they are so irritating sure they will be loved, they sing and dance with birds of prey and rodents.
I find myself wanting to be that be vulnerable but I want it without all the strings attached. Without all the heartache that does comes from being loved by another human. Because it does come with heartache. Humans don't do anything perfectly for an extended period of time. I can't even make the same meal, the same way twice. (Ask Dave, he will confirm.)
At the root of all hesitation, at the bottom of all of us, is fear. We are afraid to fully let go because we are afraid of the imperfections. This applies to human relationships, but I know it creeps into my relationship with the Lord. I find myself often having to remember the Lord doesn't think or act like I do. He doesn't respond to me the way others will. When I come to Him, what I get is purity and truth, not watered down affection.
Jesus loves like He is not scared.
In Scripture we see Jesus loving, getting hurt (to the point of agonizing death), knowing it is better this way. The Father, too, loves us so much, He sent His Son to be rejected, watching Him pay the ultimate price, still knowing it was better this way. Then, after all that, The Holy Spirit came to live in and with us, knowing we would grieve Him to no end, but still knowing it is better this way.
This is true, pure love. The Apostle John, in his first letter to the early churches, describes what this pure, true love does,
There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. (1 John 4:18, HCSB)
It's humbling to read that verse. It's humbling to know those animated girls with their tiny feet and angelic voices have something I don't have: the ability to receive perfect love. I have not reached perfection in love because I still have fear I'm going to get hurt if I love. I'd really like to love like I'm not scared.
So, I go back to square one: I rest in the Lord. I meet with the King and I read His Word. I look for what He had to say about my imperfections. And I dwell on the fact that His perfection trumps everything else. His love has already come to completion and it takes very little, if any, effort of my own, to tap into that power. Indeed, some days all I have to do (or have time for) is to say the name of Jesus.
That name bears the standard of true love. That name is the One that saves. That name removes fear. That name gives me the power to be all He called me to be, before the beginning of the world. That name marks me as royalty - as His princess and bride.
The principle of being a princess is receiving love from the King. Lord, make me more able to do that, more able to receive Your truth, Your Love, Your Goodness - without hesitation or reservation. I want to love You, myself and others like I'm not scared.
And in Your love, I won't be scared anymore and I can love like You do.
Anyway.....back to the present tense. Princesses are making a come back. Why? Well, Little Bit of course. Not that we really truly left them behind; we own a copy of all of the Disney princess movies, except for Princess and the Frog. (Not sure why we don't have that one.) But the early princess movies are shorter - which makes them ideal for little bitties, like Ella Grace, to watch.
Ok, she doesn't really watch them yet. She dances to the opening and closing music, then wanders off to do her thing: make the house as messy as she possibly can, at her short stature. Occasionally, she will wander back in, sit on one of her sister's laps for a minute, then go back to her mess-making business.
Yesterday morning, I put on Sleeping Beauty. I tell you what, that is a princess life I can get behind. Beauty, can sing, pretty clever ("I am sixteen after all!") AND you get to sleep for a hundred years. In case you didn't know, I love to sleep. Since having children and growing older, however, I don't sleep as much or as well as I used to. I still love it. It's my besetting sin. Truly.
After Sleeping (which-I-wish-I-was), I put on Cinderella. Most days, I feel more like this lady; lots of cleaning and other menial servitude, but I do get a whole lot more thanks, even if I get less fairy godmother action.
During the mini-princess-film-fest, something struck me. What these gals are singing about, what they want more than anything in the world, is to be loved. They want to be rescued, sure, but more than that, they want to be found and to be known. They want to be valued above all else - to feel worthy and worth the effort. They want true love.
Before you say, "Well, duh!," let it sink in. As I sat there, on Sunday morning before church, it hit me: that's why I'm in the relationships I am in (including a relationship with Christ). Love is why I got married and had kids. It is also why I get mad or isolate myself from people in my house sometimes - because when the situation starts to feel "unloving," I might leave the room or lash out. Strike first to save myself any real pain. (That's a big crock, by the way. Strike first doesn't work for governments or for stay-at-home-Moms.)
And now, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella? Those ladies are showing me what it means to be vulnerable - hearts on the outside of the chests. They are singing, dancing, not even remotely afraid they will never find love. In fact, they are so irritating sure they will be loved, they sing and dance with birds of prey and rodents.
I find myself wanting to be that be vulnerable but I want it without all the strings attached. Without all the heartache that does comes from being loved by another human. Because it does come with heartache. Humans don't do anything perfectly for an extended period of time. I can't even make the same meal, the same way twice. (Ask Dave, he will confirm.)
At the root of all hesitation, at the bottom of all of us, is fear. We are afraid to fully let go because we are afraid of the imperfections. This applies to human relationships, but I know it creeps into my relationship with the Lord. I find myself often having to remember the Lord doesn't think or act like I do. He doesn't respond to me the way others will. When I come to Him, what I get is purity and truth, not watered down affection.
Jesus loves like He is not scared.
In Scripture we see Jesus loving, getting hurt (to the point of agonizing death), knowing it is better this way. The Father, too, loves us so much, He sent His Son to be rejected, watching Him pay the ultimate price, still knowing it was better this way. Then, after all that, The Holy Spirit came to live in and with us, knowing we would grieve Him to no end, but still knowing it is better this way.
This is true, pure love. The Apostle John, in his first letter to the early churches, describes what this pure, true love does,
There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. (1 John 4:18, HCSB)
It's humbling to read that verse. It's humbling to know those animated girls with their tiny feet and angelic voices have something I don't have: the ability to receive perfect love. I have not reached perfection in love because I still have fear I'm going to get hurt if I love. I'd really like to love like I'm not scared.
So, I go back to square one: I rest in the Lord. I meet with the King and I read His Word. I look for what He had to say about my imperfections. And I dwell on the fact that His perfection trumps everything else. His love has already come to completion and it takes very little, if any, effort of my own, to tap into that power. Indeed, some days all I have to do (or have time for) is to say the name of Jesus.
That name bears the standard of true love. That name is the One that saves. That name removes fear. That name gives me the power to be all He called me to be, before the beginning of the world. That name marks me as royalty - as His princess and bride.
The principle of being a princess is receiving love from the King. Lord, make me more able to do that, more able to receive Your truth, Your Love, Your Goodness - without hesitation or reservation. I want to love You, myself and others like I'm not scared.
And in Your love, I won't be scared anymore and I can love like You do.
1 comment:
Your awsome!
Post a Comment