So, at what point do you, when you are following God, just throw in the towel? I thought I reached my end just now. You see, if I were not saved, I would go to a very specific hell. Not the lake of fire - the lake of eternally wrapping presents. It's awful. I KNOW I am not gifted in any way artistic, God has given me so many other blessings, this is just not one of them.
Way back towards the beginning of our Ephesians Study, the Westside Ladies Fellowship decided to serve the elderly at the St. James Infirmary - and bring them boxes full of needed toiletries and items they probably cannot get for themselves. It's a wonderful idea and I was so excited. Then a few weeks later, our study leader brought in her beautifully wrapped shoe-box. Keeping in mind that this shoe box is open so that we can put stuff inside and they can use them later if they wish. She said it was hard and I believed her but didn't think about it again till last week. I got all the stuff to wrap it. But put it off till tonight - we deliver tomorrow!
I *thought* God had provided me a way out - Dave started to wrap them for me! So sweet - well until I got downstairs and mentioned they needed to be able to be opened. Let's just say he was not so happy to have his support of me diminished and left me there to do it myself.
That's when the tears started. They haven't stopped even now. I've been down there for the last hour wrapping and I mean to tell you there is not a spot of box lid or actual box without tape or paper on it. They look horrible. Natalie would have done a better job - maybe even Sophia.
I cried the whole time because I was hurt but it really turned about being the real issue - no matter how hard I tried, these things would not come out looking nice. And they didn't but I don't have any other choice.
During the course of my fits and starts of tears, I kept thinking/praying "Lord, I have to give this to someone - they look awful. This is not a present I want to give out."
He has spoken into my heart though - He has given me a vision of a soul in need and that sometimes it's not the outside that matters - it's the intent and the love that is put into a present. I do want to make whomever gets my two measles boxes smile. I want them to know that God, through Jesus, would do anything to reach them, to tell them just how much He adores them and wants to have a relationship with them - no matter what state their faith is in.
As I sit here typing and trying to work out my feelings - I think that is what He is saying to me. Jesus did not come as everyone thought the Messiah would. Heck, He came wrapped in swaddling clothes - literally rags. Seeing my boxes, that hits home. He came all taped up so that we couldn't see His glory on the inside. It was the intent and the love that mattered - not what the outside looked like. Not only did the thought count but His action is what is really important. In a small way - I can hold onto that. My action, in faithfully wrapping those boxes as I was asked and putting those much needed items in, shows His glory. No one might see it, but He does.
Thank You Lord, once again, for coming for us. You came in a package no one recognized or thought much about but yet, when they saw your heart, they knew the truth. You have once again shown me what faithfulness is and I praise your name for the little ways you show your grace. Thank you for turning ugliness into beauty and thank you for loving me so much - even if I am no good at wrapping presents. Love you Abba - in Christ's Name, Amen.