Wednesday, October 20, 2010


There is no doubt that we are, right now, in darkness. There is only enough light for the step we are on - just day by day, hour by hour, we are passing through time right now. Creeping at light speed, but no light to be found.

Have you ever been in a place like this?

Have you ever wanted so badly to just be somewhere else?

Have you made a break for it?

What I'm considering today, in addition to this cult of personality I seem to be exhibiting lately, is that maybe, I'm supposed to be in the dark. It it true that two weeks ago, I could not/would not have believed if God had appeared to me personally and told me about what was going to happen to Sophia.

He didn't do that, of course, but I don't think it would have helped me deal with this any better. You might believe that God is a spiteful little kid, who, like some of our government officials, keeps us in the dark and feeds us B.S. You could say we are all just mushrooms to Him.

When I faced the Scripture today, it was with a very anxious heart. I do not like facing the pain of this situation. Somehow after all this time, I forget what comfort I find there. I forget He reveals Himself as the God of all comfort in His Word. I'm stubborn, I suppose.

But He is more kind than I give Him credit for. The Scripture I read is Exodus 33:12-23. I've read it a lot, so what really struck me is something I've always been confused about.

It's the part where God hides Moses in the cleft of a rock so His glory can pass by, like Moses wants, but covers him with His Hand so Moses doesn't die. What occurred to me this time around is perhaps that this present darkness in our lives is God's present gift of mercy.

Maybe the darkness we are in is not because of some evil, Satanic prank. Maybe it is a divine gift. Perhaps it is His Hand covering our eyes because His glory is passing by. Maybe His Glory is being worked out in our lives and we couldn't understand it if we were to see it until is complete. We must see it from the backside or our heads would explode.

He has us hidden, between a rock and a hard place, but covered by His Hand - it is the safest place to be. He is with us, right there - His Glory is going before us to clear the path. Just like in Job's story, perhaps the 2nd half of our lives, after all this is done, will be twice as blessed as the first.

He sees, He knows and He is answering your prayers by keeping us warm and cozy in His pocket.


Tam said...

Amy-God is using you even in the dark even when you don't see! I am struggling with the grief of losing my father. Your post today about His hand covering us, keeping us in the dark, in His mercy makes so much sense at this time in my life!
Praying unceasingly for you and your family!

JANICE & JAMES said...

Amy,thank you for bearing your soul...Surely He is our Hiding Place. We talked about Jesus, Our Shepherd today at MIT and tried to remind each other that even in shadow of the valley, He is there! Our hearts cried out to the Great Shepherd for your sweet family.
In God's Unfailing Love,

Anonymous said...

Amy-Our bible verse this week at bible study was James 5:16B
"The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." it so made me think of you. Know that many righteous souls are praying for your family and Sophia. Believing in Him, Julie K

Gindi said...

So I was driving to work this morning & thinking about the hands that are holding you, covering you, shielding you and I heard JJ Heller's song, His Hands:

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn’t there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That you would take my pain away
You would take my pain away...

When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands
Your hands that shaped the world
Are holding me
They hold me still

His hands, the ones that shaped the world, and formed Adam, are holding you, protecting you, shielding you now. Love you.