So, last week - I finally got the guts to dig into Genesis 22. That's the part where God calls Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. I have been identifying with this story acutely because it has kind of felt like every time we go to the clinic/hospital - Sophia was Isaac and I was Abraham.
There is a poignant moment in the verses I wrote about today (4-7) where Isaac asks Abraham where the sheep for the sacrifice was. It hits home because Sophia, ever the inquisitive child, asked me yesterday what we were doing this week. Were we going to the doctor?
I could almost hear Isaac's words ring in Abraham's ears like hers did in mine.
Yet, I am learning from this father of our faith. I patiently let her finish her question to make sure I knew what she was asking (otherwise it just dissolves into an argument) - then calmly let her know that this week was another sleepover at the hospital.
She didn't like the thought but we talked through it. We are able to somewhat dialogue about it. The routine is setting in.
I think this is why I can now write about Abraham and Isaac. It's only been 8 or 9 weeks since this all started (yes, I'm still counting) and this is only week 7 of chemo, but it is not as fresh. Abraham had to walk 3 days to get to Mount Moriah - so it stands to reason The Lord has allowed me time to process.
I still need to seek out a counselor - I need better tools to deal with this. Not much gives me the joy like it used to, including running which used to get me through the day. But I've spent the last 2 hours reading and studying and writing - and I feel better. (Which is a relief in and of itself).
(I also ate and had some coffee - probably didn't hurt either. I tend to be very melancholy when blood sugar is low.)
We have a long way to go, but I appreciate that you are with us.
And if you get the time to read my take on this piece of Scripture - click the button to the right. Let me know what you think! Always, always, always up for feedback.