So, back in November, I started knocking around an idea in my head. I wrote on it in The Other Side of Service.
It wasn't fully formed then, but having lived with it for 5 months now, I can better flush it out. It comes directly from experiencing what you do for us every day, through your prayers, your notes and cards, your meals, your fund-raising, your friendship and support.
I couldn't admit back then how hard it is to be the one being served. It might have taken this long for my mind and heart to process. There have been some situations where I have wanted to recoil and say "No, no. Thank you, but no. We are fine." And in some cases I have.
But in others, when I have said yes (through mentally gritted teeth), I know now one of the things I am to learn.
Today on Everyday Christian and my Examiner page I posted an entry called Could you let Jesus wash your feet? It was based on the discourse between Jesus and Peter in John 13. Thanks to your comments from that initial post in November and continued experience being humbled, I was able to pen what I'm experiencing in an encouraging way.
You see, I know that I cannot reach the level of dependence and humility in Christ that I desire, unless, for this season, I let others be the Hands of Christ to my family. It is a chance to let others flex their "love" muscles and a chance for me to learn how to receive it. I know there is not enough of what I'm experiencing in this area going on in the Church, otherwise, things could be a lot more harmonious.
But I think The Lord is working on that too.
I believe our situation has given people who would never otherwise have the chance to demonstrate their love in such profound ways an outlet. I can't say I like being that outlet, but I know it is for The Lord's glory. He is doing something big with us, now and in the future. So, we all must be prepared for it.
He is preparing me to pay all this forward in much bigger ways than I can comprehend. And He is preparing all of you (yes, I'm looking at you) to take this heart you have for us to even greater heights.
Sophia's cancer could have very well ripped our family apart. It has done that to others and we were warned from the beginning. But I think in surrendering to your ministrations, by living the ministry of being served, it has taught us so much about what it really means to be a family - of flesh and spirit.
None of that is going to go to waste, no matter what the enemy is throwing at us. We are in this for the long haul, Jesus - together. So, Satan you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Maybe this is all another attempt to say thank you. It is probably in vain, as usual. But I can't say it enough. It's a big week for us and I know you are right there with us.