Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Comedy from the Pew

I've gotten the feeling lately that this blog has become a bit of a downer.  No one has said that, I just feel like I mostly focus on the struggles I have in my faith and life.  As a result, it seems a little too heavy to me.  Hopefully you don't think that way, but I wanted to, for today, mix it up.

You see, we love hilarity here.  In both my biological and marital families can find something to laugh about in ANY situation.  And I mean any.  Sometimes it is wildly inappropriate and that just makes us laugh all the harder.  It's kind of scandalous to me sometimes just how much we laugh when I think we should be crying.  Perhaps that is our coping mechanism, but it is something I'm not about to change.  As Dolly Parton said in Steel Magnolias
Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion!
Now, I'm no comedy writer, but I do find that I'm pretty good at describing my children's exploits.  They happen all the time, but some of Dave and I's most memorable guffaws have happened during church.  And religious/church humor, next to Dana Carvey, is my most favorite type.  So, here begins my chronicling of how ridiculous things get at church for us.  This is the top five, for now.  I'm confident there will be more.  There are times when it is all I can do to contain my laughter and sometimes I'm just mortified.  I'll let you guess in the stories below what my reaction was to each.

(By the way, Communion Sunday seems to be the catalyst for most of our stories.  I don't know why one of the most sacred acts in the Church is often punctuated with my children acting like loons)

1. In Trindad - as in the U.S. - the church we went to had communion every 1st Sunday.  Natalie and Sophia were pretty young 4 (going on 5) and 1 (going on 2) when we moved.  At this particular church, they served ritz-like crackers for bread and grape juice out of tiny, plastic communion cups, which were passed around on trays.  It never failed, Natalie would eat her cracker like Tom Hanks ate baby corn in the movie Big (see below video for visual) and try to shoot the grape juice like Tequlia.  Sophia would take a handful of crackers as the plate passed by and more than once, we caught her licking the inside of the communion cup like a dog, to get the last drops of juice.

2. At our home church, they provide coloring pages for kids to have something to do during the services.  Attached inside the folder are plastic bags with colored pencils.  To make matters worse, the flooring underneath the pew is tile.  Do you know how loud it is when a kid drops all those pencils on the floor during the silent prayer time?

3. On a related note, we were visiting a church recently in which the sanctuary sloped downwards towards the altar.  Being the smart parent I am, I had brought a bag of activities, again including coloring pages.  I've learned my lesson though - we only bring crayons.  However, again during the prayer time, Sophia dropped at least one crayon.  We were sitting in the back of the church and that crayon rolled all the way down to the front.  (We even had to try and retrieve it after the service.  No such luck there.)

4. Last Sunday, we went to my parents' church.  They are communion stewards there, so I expected that although we were not in their service, all stewards were trained in the ways of giving communion to young children by just saying "Jesus loves you" and avoiding the prescribed liturgy of saying it's the Body and Blood of Christ.  Apparently not.  When Sophia's turn came around, the man handed her a piece of bread.  She blanked on what to do with it so they stopped the flow of the line to instruct her on taking communion by intinction.  It took awhile for her to get the concept of dipping the bread in the juice but she finally got it.

But the crowning moment was after she dipped her bread and we went back to her seat.  We sat down and presented me with her not-yet-eaten and elongated piece of juice-soaked bread.  With a look of horror, she asked me, "Is this REALLY blood???"  She didn't take communion that day.

Last but not favorite....All Saint's Day

5.  Last Sunday was also the day the Methodist Church took to celebrate those saints who passed away this last year.  As the minister was reading through the names, Sophia leaned over in a panicked voice and said:

"Old MacDonald died!?!?!?!?!"

1 comment:

tbaudin said...

This is great!!!! We've had so many moments like this through the year! the know they make triangle-shaped crayons so that they don't go astray so easily! :)