I have got to get myself under control!
This is approximately the 2,345,648th time I've said this to myself and attempted to make it happen. I've talked a lot about how I tend to beat myself up for my lack of self-control, or as I like to think of it, the inconsistencies in my life. From sleeping to late and skipping my quiet time (and exercise), to eating and drinking whatever I want whenever I want, I get into a funk about me. I find myself hard to be around. I get grumpy and start fussing at everyone.
That's where I was yesterday as we went to church. Fussy and irritated at myself, which started to leak out as a slow-moving sludge towards my family. We were sitting in church, and since there were no kids' activity bags available, I gave the girls a blank sheet of paper and a pen. They drew all the way through the 2nd song of the service and since I was singing, I wasn't paying attention to what they were drawing. I began to feel the Holy Spirit soothe my soul and tell my irritated mind to chill out.
But the real kicker was when I saw Natalie's drawing. With no coercion, encouragement or suggestion, she drew this all on her own:
This picture was a glass of cold water in my face, reminding me what my life was about - not ME but HE. What Christ did on the Cross is supposed to be my impetus for getting out of bed in the morning but I find myself focused on my day, my plans, how I feel all the time. It is no different this morning, so it is clear I need some more time in His presence. Thank You Lord for your sacrifice. Thank You for dying for me, for my family, for my friends - for this whole world. Thank You for the redemption I can find anytime at the foot of Your Cross. Help me to live my life, today and everyday, in the shadow of Your grace.
He often uses my children to remind me what is important. Thank You for another reminder, again, Lord and keep them coming.
This is approximately the 2,345,648th time I've said this to myself and attempted to make it happen. I've talked a lot about how I tend to beat myself up for my lack of self-control, or as I like to think of it, the inconsistencies in my life. From sleeping to late and skipping my quiet time (and exercise), to eating and drinking whatever I want whenever I want, I get into a funk about me. I find myself hard to be around. I get grumpy and start fussing at everyone.
That's where I was yesterday as we went to church. Fussy and irritated at myself, which started to leak out as a slow-moving sludge towards my family. We were sitting in church, and since there were no kids' activity bags available, I gave the girls a blank sheet of paper and a pen. They drew all the way through the 2nd song of the service and since I was singing, I wasn't paying attention to what they were drawing. I began to feel the Holy Spirit soothe my soul and tell my irritated mind to chill out.
But the real kicker was when I saw Natalie's drawing. With no coercion, encouragement or suggestion, she drew this all on her own:
This picture was a glass of cold water in my face, reminding me what my life was about - not ME but HE. What Christ did on the Cross is supposed to be my impetus for getting out of bed in the morning but I find myself focused on my day, my plans, how I feel all the time. It is no different this morning, so it is clear I need some more time in His presence. Thank You Lord for your sacrifice. Thank You for dying for me, for my family, for my friends - for this whole world. Thank You for the redemption I can find anytime at the foot of Your Cross. Help me to live my life, today and everyday, in the shadow of Your grace.
He often uses my children to remind me what is important. Thank You for another reminder, again, Lord and keep them coming.
No comments:
Post a Comment