Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Mother of 3

I've been writing a lot lately.  The stuff I'm working on is book-related and I haven't felt like I need to condense it into blog format (yet).  I also don't have the time (see below).  School starts in a week and half so until then, I'm plugged in to write for about 2 hours a day, with generally 85% of that coming before 7:30 am.  What I've been working on is pretty heavy and while it is important, for my own sanity, I need to lighten things up.  Mostly because this life I lead is HILARIOUS.  I wish I could post all the crazy.silly.radical.ridiculous things my kids do, but again, see below (#4).  

For your digestion, here is a list of 10 things I've learned being a mother of 3.  I only have 6 months under my belt, but it's been eye opening.  Feel free to contribute in the comments - I know there are some multiple-kid Moms reading.  In short, I like it.  Not that I have much choice now, but it's really, really good.  Enjoy!

1. I'm THAT Mom.  On Monday, I handed the baby to a contractor who was out at the house giving me a quote.  Granted she wanted me to sign something and you can't do that with a wiggle worm in your arms, but still she was a complete stranger.  I didn't try and make it work.  She offered to hold her and I handed her over, no question.  Later, I marveled at it because I would have NEVER done that with Natalie; maybe even Sophia.  Things that used to rattle me don't so much anymore.  I know she will eventually feed herself, talk, walk, go to the potty, argue and go to school.  After all, I have 2 examples of just that.  I know she will be ok if I don't have a video monitor, just a regular old fuzzy one.  (In fact, the video monitor was making me paranoid.  I was losing sleep waking up to see if she was ok.  I had to give it up so I could sleep and be rational.)

However, those things that used to be pet peeves are major issues now.  I will inform you if you are making me or my child unhappy.  No more Mrs. Nice Mama Bear.

2. I don't wipe stuff off anymore.  Ok, I do.  In public.  But at home, not really.  I know how clean my floors are and if there are no visible signs of cat hair or dirt - said toy, bib or burp cloth is good to go.  It strengthens her immune system.

3. Rookie mistakes aren't just for rookies.  Case in point, yesterday I was playing with Ella, swinging her around and doing airplane.  I just kept on till she threw up on me.  The long string of spit-up/vomit hit a mere 1/4" from my mouth.  So gross.  You'd think by now I would know that was going to happen.  I have moments where where I just want to slap my forehead and say, "Stupid!  Don't you remember?" 

4. I'm not more tired than I used to be, but I am busier.  Like now, I look up and it's 3 pm.  Before, some days would drag, but no longer.  It's a constant blur.  I just hang on and let the clock blow dry my hair.  Kind of nice, no downtime.  I'm sure I'll regret saying that soon.

5. The Olders get more leash.  (To save time, I will henceforth refer to Natalie and Sophia as "The Olders.")  I can't harp on them or stand over them and in hindsight, never should have.  Now, they are learning that they will eventually get caught not doing what I told them to do: cause and effect in warp drive.  I'm pleased with how they are keeping up.  They don't fuss about discipline because I just make them do what they should have done in the first place, with less lecturing.

6.  It's not that I don't care about my looks anymore.  C'mon, I have a baby and the Olders.  If I want to write, workout and check email (which are my 3 personal goals for each day), I must wedge that between meals/feedings, laundry, doctor's appointments, playdates, other errands, shipment arrivals, grocery store and perhaps a few minutes to converse with my husband.  I like it when he says I'm pretty but I'm not going to hold it against him on days when I forget to shower (like yesterday).  When The Olders go back to school, hopefully I'll look better, but until then, there will be days when brushing my teeth is the extent of my beauty routine. 

7. The Olders personality quirks are magnified.  Things I only mildly made note of before are now on speaker.  Like Sophia asking questions: holy smokes that kid asks more questions - and about RANDOM stuff.  I have to work to keep up with her thought-train, I just try ride it with her and hold on.  The one I really like is Natalie's propensity to help.  I don't know what I would do without her willingness to change diapers, pick up the baby or just generally do things I ask.  She complains a bit, but being easy-going is another trait on steroids now.

8. I am more honest with The Olders.  I tend to tell them exactly how I feel about something without crafting it into "child language" - you know how we tend to soften things, pause before explaining or use kid-sized words.  I don't use profanity or anything, but I find myself using, for example, regular sized words.  Most of the time they get it and I think they appreciate my honesty.  Maybe they are secretly crying themselves to sleep, but if so, they are doing a good job of pretending to be well-adjusted and happy in my presence.

9. I've stopped trying to de-tantrumize The Olders.  In a house that is 80% female, I don't think tantrums will ever go away.  I like a good one about once a month myself.  I used to hang in there with The Olders: arguing, pointing out the superiority of my logic, trying to distract them - whatever.  Now, I largely ignore them.  Girls, see #4.  You want to throw a fit, great, do it in another room, don't break anything and keep the noise down.  I've found it shortens the tantrum cycle too.  I wish I'd learned this 9 years ago.

10.  I appreciate my family more.  They are the center of my universe and I just love them.  I catch myself looking at each girl's face everyday, breathless at how beautiful they are.  God really has created 3 magnificent masterpieces of girlhood.  They are all really well-behaved too.  They are kids/baby so we have issues, but overall - wow, I'm really blessed.  That goes for my husband too - I notice how thoughtful and handsome he is more now than I ever did before.  (Tell him I always did.  I don't want him thinking I was lacking in this area prior to baby #3!)

Our family is a great one.  I thank the Good Lord for it and look forward to growing (and laughing) about all this crazy life as a Mom of 3 has to teach me. 

No comments: