Then your light will burst forth like the morning, your new skin will
quickly grow over your wound; your righteousness will precede you, and
ADONAI's glory will follow you. - Isaiah 58:8, CJB
I was up wrestling last night. Or rather, early this morning. I was praying for a friend and then started thinking about this morning. Sophia has her next round of scans today and then we meet with her oncologist tomorrow for the results. I have not batted an eyelash for months when I consider the ramifications of these scans. The Lord blessed me with an ease of spirit, mind and conscience about it all. Probably because He knew I was too overwhelmed with a new baby to really give it much thought.
And I have continued to stand firm in my belief that she is healed. But an old "friend" - fear of relapse - visited me in the wee hours. It reminded me all of this new "normal" could be fleeting. It could change in a heartbeat if that little spot that has been dead for so long somehow came alive again. We could be right back to where we were nearly 3 years ago when she was first diagnosed.
That fear lays open all of those emotional wounds I have. It threatens to rip me to shreds if I think of her having to go through treatment again. The thought of relapse makes me want to throw up, punch my hand through the wall and run screaming down the street, maybe in that order. I praised the Lord that Ella Grace would never know her big sister as anything other than a cancer survivor, but this fear tries to tell me otherwise.
As I sat down to read Jesus Calling this morning, I confessed this fear and sinful disbelief. After all we've been through - how can I now doubt? Of course, God orchestrated the days of my devotional to remind me what was important - Him. I find it truly poetic that this entry is for tomorrow - the day we get her results. (Ok, I cheated and read ahead.) The part when she quotes 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 hit me like a hammer. The Lord's power is made perfect in Sophia's weakness. It is that very spot that the spirit of fear used to stir up my unbelief which proves His power. That little remnant of whatever, that scar we are going to take pictures of today is the continued evidence of His healing.
I'm not scared anymore. I love and serve a God so much bigger than any circumstance. He is so much bigger than cancer, so much bigger than my fear. So, I don't have to fear today or tomorrow (or any day.) My confidence is restored because I know He loves me and my daughter. He told me so this morning, yet again.
Somebody out there needs to know that God still works this mightily in humanity. Somebody needs some proof. Sophia is that proof. God's Word to me this morning is that proof. He is real, He loves you and HE HEALS. You want to know what it takes to get it?
The simple answer is to embrace Jesus, every day and you will find your healing.
Here is Sarah Young beautiful, divine words, written from God's point of view. Your healing is in God's hands, just ask for it.
I was up wrestling last night. Or rather, early this morning. I was praying for a friend and then started thinking about this morning. Sophia has her next round of scans today and then we meet with her oncologist tomorrow for the results. I have not batted an eyelash for months when I consider the ramifications of these scans. The Lord blessed me with an ease of spirit, mind and conscience about it all. Probably because He knew I was too overwhelmed with a new baby to really give it much thought.
And I have continued to stand firm in my belief that she is healed. But an old "friend" - fear of relapse - visited me in the wee hours. It reminded me all of this new "normal" could be fleeting. It could change in a heartbeat if that little spot that has been dead for so long somehow came alive again. We could be right back to where we were nearly 3 years ago when she was first diagnosed.
That fear lays open all of those emotional wounds I have. It threatens to rip me to shreds if I think of her having to go through treatment again. The thought of relapse makes me want to throw up, punch my hand through the wall and run screaming down the street, maybe in that order. I praised the Lord that Ella Grace would never know her big sister as anything other than a cancer survivor, but this fear tries to tell me otherwise.
As I sat down to read Jesus Calling this morning, I confessed this fear and sinful disbelief. After all we've been through - how can I now doubt? Of course, God orchestrated the days of my devotional to remind me what was important - Him. I find it truly poetic that this entry is for tomorrow - the day we get her results. (Ok, I cheated and read ahead.) The part when she quotes 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 hit me like a hammer. The Lord's power is made perfect in Sophia's weakness. It is that very spot that the spirit of fear used to stir up my unbelief which proves His power. That little remnant of whatever, that scar we are going to take pictures of today is the continued evidence of His healing.
I'm not scared anymore. I love and serve a God so much bigger than any circumstance. He is so much bigger than cancer, so much bigger than my fear. So, I don't have to fear today or tomorrow (or any day.) My confidence is restored because I know He loves me and my daughter. He told me so this morning, yet again.
Somebody out there needs to know that God still works this mightily in humanity. Somebody needs some proof. Sophia is that proof. God's Word to me this morning is that proof. He is real, He loves you and HE HEALS. You want to know what it takes to get it?
The simple answer is to embrace Jesus, every day and you will find your healing.
Here is Sarah Young beautiful, divine words, written from God's point of view. Your healing is in God's hands, just ask for it.
I AM A GOD WHO HEALS. I heal broken bodies, broken minds, broken hearts, broken lives, and broken relationships. My very Presence had immense healing powers. You cannot live close to Me without experience some degree of healing. However, it is also true that you have not because you ask not. You receive the healing that flows naturally from My Presence, whether you seek it or not. But there is more - much more - available to those who ask.
The first step in receiving healing is to live ever so close to Me. The benefits of this practice are too numerous to list. As you grow more and more intimate with Me, I reveal My will to you more directly. When the time is right, I prompt you to ask for healing of some brokenness in you or in another person. The healing may be instantaneous, or it may be a process. That is up to Me. Your part is to trust Me fully and to thank Me for the restoration that has begun.
I rarely heal all the brokenness in a person's life. Even My servant Paul was told, "My grace is sufficient for you," when he sought healing for the thorn in his flesh. Nonetheless, much healing is available to those whose lives are intimately interwoven with Mine. Ask, and you will receive.
Further reading: James, 4:2, 2 Corinthians 12:7-9, Matthew 7:7
No comments:
Post a Comment