Friday, August 23, 2013

Yes, My Kid Had Cancer

As of today, Sophia hit her 2nd anniversary of the declaration of remission.  For those of you outside the cancer world, that's not really anything official.  It marks the day she finished her treatment, and how long she has been without cancer.  To look at her now, you would never know she is a walking miracle.  She is an awesome, precocious seven-year old.  She is taller than more than 80% of kids her age.  She is wickedly smart, stubborn, very loving and very thoughtful.  I have never met anyone like her.  She is completely unique.  She got some of her dad and some of me, but for the most part, she is completely unique.  She is Sophia - only one name required.

She got her ears pierced on Tuesday.  That in itself is something to celebrate because 2 years ago, she couldn't.  She was deathly afraid of needles for one, but there was immuno-suppression and blood counts to consider.  She handled it very well and is SO pleased.  I am so proud of her.  Yep, we are all growing up.

She will continue to get scans every four months for another year - then every six months; then every year for a long time.  This anniversary marks the time we were no longer bound all the work that surrounds fighting cancer.  On this day, our lives suddenly became about finding what "normal" meant again, after such an intense season.

It is an emotional anniversary.  It's happy and it's sad.  Part of me (still) wishes she never had cancer.  I had a moment of panic on Tuesday when they found a trace amount of blood in her urine (but that could happen for a lot of reasons.)  They will keep watching it because even though she is out of the danger zone of relapse; they still have to watch for late-effects of the chemo she received.

I know without a doubt that the Lord worked through and in her.  He definitely carried all of us.  What was meant for evil, God meant for good (Genesis 50:20).  I read this from a fellow cancer survivor's Mom on Thursday, about her son Cole, and it echoes my thoughts:
But he (always has a) never ending smile and is happy go lucky attitude with the life he has been given he will go far. His battle may have been short but the side effects of cancer are with him the rest of his life. He knows that to be a true survivor you have to not only physically beat cancer but mentally beat it as well.

Sophia is there - she is a survivor in every sense of the word.

When you ask me about it, I know I make a funny face.  I don't mourn per say but I do look back.  It's like my brain fingers the scar of a long-healed wound.  The scar is always there and I'm grateful for it.  It reminds me of how big my God is, even if it isn't the happiest of memories.

I wrote on Monday about overcoming my fear.  It is a battle I will face - whether it's another year or when she is 27.  I want this behind her, but that is a process we have to walk out.  I am so thankful for all the support we continue to have and the ministry to others He has given us.  Sophia continues to be the proof for me (and so many) that God still works in this world and He definitely listens to prayer.  That is the first and greatest lesson I learned.  It is rooted deep in my heart and no matter how I feel in the moment, He and His love never change.  So, for those that are still fighting their own battles, I want you to know something.

Yes, my kid had cancer.  Yes, it was really tough.  But God was with us.  He is with you and will carry you . Depend on Him, ask Him for wisdom and follow His direction.  He will not lead you astray.  Prayer works.  In the end, all that matters is not the fight but the victory - all that you will gain from this season.  Keep going and as we like to say in the pediatric cancer world: NEGU (Never Ever Give Up.)

The verse on the back of our Team Sophia shirts is really poignant, so I'll end with it.  I hope it spurs you on to keep going with God, wherever He is taking you.  Don't get weary because your harvest is coming, friend.  I know it.

So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.  (Galatians 6:9, NLT)

1 comment:

Ebrandia Perry said...

I love this! Sophia is beautifully blessed! I speak continued health over her life in Jesus' name. There is NOTHING to hard for God!