Thursday, August 29, 2013

I Want Summer Back (or The First Two Days of School)

So, school started this week.  You probably noticed that.  We've been awaiting it for a long time and have answered the "Yes we are back," numerous times.  The first week of school is always hard but usually gets more difficult later in the week when the Olders are tired from the change in schedule, getting up early and being busy all day.  I was prepared for that.  What happened, though, hit me like a Mac Truck.

Monday afternoon, Sophia went nuts.  Trying to get her to do a fun worksheet and read for a bit was torture for both of us.  I should have thrown in the towel but I wanted to set the standard for the year - I couldn't just give up on the first day!  So, we slogged through it, past the attitude and tears and got it done.  I was completely worn out and asleep by 8 pm.

Tuesday afternoon, it was Natalie's turn.  A ten-minute project turned into FOUR HOURS OF HELL.  You've heard me say this before on this blog that my kids are good kids.  Nats is usually the most controlled of the two olders.  But she just lost her mind.  She threw two massive fits o' rage, one of which included tearing up every single flashcard I'd prepared for her.  (I made her do them again, oh yes I did.  See above reference about setting the tone for the year.)  Asleep by 8 pm.

I did start to wonder about my own sanity.  I know the Holy Spirit was working because I wasn't joining them at the Funny Farm.  I thought about it, but I know God had His Hand on me because He just flat-out held me back.  You know, like those people that wrap their arms around the participants of a cat-fight to keep them from continuing to try and scratch each other's eyes out?  Yeah, that was God.

The baby got a wild hair that it was more fun to be awake than asleep, plus I've been working out more this week - so in addition to my body adapting to my newly implemented schedule+strength training+running - I've had less sleep to go on.  Not good for me.  The Good Lord created me with a need for a solid 8 hours for optimal function.

I started wishing for summer again.  The lazy days (which we never really had), the relaxed schedule (that we never had) and the slow pace (again, totally a figment of my imagination.)  I felt like just last Friday I was in a much better place.  I was so much more capable of handling my kids.  But the clock only moves forward.  This was my reality but I couldn't face it.

After tears over spilled breakfast (Ella's - we both cried about it), it was time for help.  I called in the big guns - prayer warriors that I knew would stand before the Father on my behalf. 

And the cavalry came.  My dear friend, mentor and spiritual mother asked me if I would drop the girls at her house after school.  She said she would be in charge of snacks and homework, then she would teach them some songs.  It was like Gabriel himself descending to deliver me the Annunciation.  That couple of hours she had them did wonders for all of us, not to mention, I napped with Ella earlier in the day; so I was actually in a good mood when Dave got home, not ready to toss him the baby and shut my family out.

Yesterday ended much better.  Not surprisingly, today started out better.  I am praying the streak will continue into the afternoon and maybe through Friday.  If I can limp into the weekend, fine by me.  I will not call this week a success.  To finish will be enough.

I don't think there is a huge lesson here, other than ask for help when you need it.  Don't be prideful.  Don't just assume the Lord wants to "fix" something in you, or give you more patience, kindness or a better attitude.  He doesn't want you to just grin and bear it.  He isn't always testing your dependence on Him.  There are times when He wants to take your difficulties completely off your slumped over shoulders.  So, let Him.  He is a good, kind and loving Father and sometimes you need to just let Him be that for you.

No conditions.  No expectations.  No work.  Let others serve you for a change and experience what God's love does to your soul.  I learned that lesson a long time ago and it took a sweet lady to remind me that everyone needs a helping hand sometimes.  If you let your pride get in the way, it will just keep you from what really matters.

I kind of still want summer back, but I'm hopeful that the Lord will redeem this week.  I know that's possible, so I will choose to believe it!

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